AIBU?
To think my daughter needs a new bag?
notsokeen · 29/09/2018 08:23
Dd 18 started her hnc college course on Monday. She has a lot of stuff to take to college so she has a backpack and a laptop bag, however the laptop bag looks a lot like a briefcase. She came home from college yesterday and said that her course mates took the piss out of her (which she’s fine with, she knows how to laugh at herself), but a few people were laughing at her in the canteen which she said made her feel paranoid. She really liked the laptop bag as it protects her laptop but she said she might not go to the canteen anymore to eat her lunch and eat it in the corridor instead, as the canteen is where people laugh at her the most. I suggested for her to buy a large handbag, but she hates handbags. I really don’t want her to eat her lunch in the corridors, especially as her friends won’t be doing that as they eat canteen food whereas my dd has a packed lunch so she’ll be left out. I think she just needs to get a new bag that will fit everything, but she doesn’t want to go shopping for another one. Should I just buy her one? Or ‘force’ her to go shopping for one or let her take the laptop bag and still get mocked at. I just want her to enjoy her course with no worry or stress!
Girlsnightin · 29/09/2018 08:25
Can't she squish her laptop in the rucksack. What's everyone else using.
Even adults don't use laptop bags that look like briefcases?
Meandyoumake2 · 29/09/2018 08:27
You get rucksack/school bagsize fo your back with a section for laptops now? Would that help? Call it an early Christmas present!
SodTheBloodyLotOfThem · 29/09/2018 08:27
You are a nice mum :) is she the sort that will come for a browse round the shops with you? What's her normal style? There are definitely backpacks with room for laptops.
notsokeen · 29/09/2018 08:28
@Girlsnightin she says that the laptop bag protects the laptop and she has bought quite a nice and expensive laptop so wants to use the protection. Her laptop bag also carries her laptop charger and books. Her lunch and pencil case takes up the room in her backpack.
Bobbiepin · 29/09/2018 08:30
You can get slim protective cases for het laptop and she can carry it or put it in the rucksack. Good on your daughter for not changing for other people though.
UrsulaPandress · 29/09/2018 08:30
I like a nice briefcase.
Can't believe all these suggestions to pander to the bullies. Your dd sounds like she ploughs her own furrow and long may she continue to do so.
PurpleFlower1983 · 29/09/2018 08:31
Get her a rucksack with a laptop space. My DH has a really good one where the zips are on the under side for security.
Lollypop701 · 29/09/2018 08:32
Personally I’d tell my child that if they decide they don’t want a new bag that’s fine, consequences are some people she doesn’t know, or care about, laughing. Why does she care? She will look at someone else and consider their fashion sense a disaster, and might mention to her friends etc. Your dd is wanting to runaway from a situation that makes her uncomfortable... tell her to ride it out and they’ll be laughing at someone next week... alternatively she can give them control by missing the gossip and support of her friends by eatingin a corridor. At 18 she has to make her own choices but I’d encourage her to be brave!
Babynamechange123 · 29/09/2018 08:32
My husband has a backpack with 3 compartments, a protected laptop compartment, one for work folders and laptop bits and one for his day to day lunch, coffee cup, etc etc. He got it from Amazon, there are loads of really nice ones on there.
One bag for all is the best idea but if she isn't a handbag girl then a bigger backpack is probably the solution.
nicebitofquiche · 29/09/2018 08:33
At 18 she's an adult and she can use whatever bag she likes. Good for her for not wanting to change.
HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 29/09/2018 08:34
Like PP I have a protective laptop case that fits in a backpack or handbag. I'd get one of those.
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 29/09/2018 08:34
She needs to learn to say ‘are you really laughing because I have a laptop in a laptop bag, really 
’ She doesn’t need to eat elsewhere or get a new bag, she needs to learn not to give a crap what other people think.
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/09/2018 08:35
There are lots of laptop rucksacks about. I’d find one bag less hassle but wouldn’t change just for arseholes.
hellsbells99 · 29/09/2018 08:35
DD has one very similar to this
www.costco.co.uk/Sports-Spas-Leisure/Luggage/Travel-Luggage/Antler-Business-300-Backpack-in-Black/p/256712
IsTheRainEverComingBack · 29/09/2018 08:35
Oh and you’re not being very helpful suggesting a new bag either - you’re teaching her she should change because other people are mean
FujiCorn · 29/09/2018 08:36
What kind of laptop has she got, is it fairly thin? You can get backpacks that have a sleeve type section at the back for the laptop and then everything else fits in front. There’s usually a little strap to keep it secure too. I’ve had to fit a laptop and a massive camera bag in mine before and it works well
so sorry can’t shorten the link on my phone! But something like this
www.timberland.co.uk/shop/en/tbl-uk/crofton-zip-top-backpack-black-tb:0a1cof:001:os::1--11?gclid=Cj0KCQjwxbzdBRCoARIsACzIK2mygjc4qD6F6EZBAHZ6sPInn2iLy_KFceiW6NSk6m2T8gORch2RTjAaApk3EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CIepncrZ390CFQSRGwodmYMNDA#hero=4
Brambleboo · 29/09/2018 08:37
Good on her for making sure her laptop is well protected, but it's not good that she feels forced out of the cafeteria because of juvenile sneering. They're probably just jealous.
Ultimately, I guess you can only give suggestions and see where she goes from there.
LoveAGoodChat · 29/09/2018 08:38
Op if she is happy using what she is using then leave her to it, if she changes bags they may still bully her anyway, bullies don't need a reason..
If they are causing her to avoid eating in the canteen then that is a problem...you and/or her need to speak to the college to.see what it's anti harassment and anti bullying policies are and what they intend to.do.about the situation...your daughter has gone there to learn, and they have made it so she feel.too uncomfortable to eat in the canteen
Glitteryfrog · 29/09/2018 08:38
Laptop rucksacks have separate compartments and pouches for laptops.
www.johnlewis.com/the-north-face-jester-day-backpack-black/p3713356
bridgetreilly · 29/09/2018 08:40
She's 18, she can decide for herself what bags she wants to use.
Verbena87 · 29/09/2018 08:41
I love that your daughter is standing her ground, she sounds a thoroughly good human!
I’ve got a lovely Fjallraven backpack which has a padded laptop sleeve integrated in, and big side pockets. I bought it instead of a handbag-style changing bag so use the pockets for nappies and wipes, but they’d definitely fit a pencil case and a water bottle so there should be room for books and lunch in the main bag.
It’s this one I went for (20l not 15) Husband was jealous and within a month had got one for himself for work as well! www.exxpozed.co.uk/unisex-rucksaecke-fjallraven-ovik-backpack-20-hickory-brown-14b?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIysaQ19rf3QIVhoKyCh3uBgQuEAkYAyABEgLamfD_BwE#!?variant=53727
Josiebloggs · 29/09/2018 08:41
Shes 18 not 8, she cares more about her expensive laptop being protected than people she barely knows laughing at her. You should be proud of her for having her priorities right and not giving in to childish nonsense. She should keep the bag she wants.
newplacenofriends · 29/09/2018 08:41
This one is good. It has anti-theft properties such as a pocket flush against your back, and a secondary closing at the top. It's also really comfy.
Laptop Backpack,Beyle Slim Anti-Theft Water Resistant Travel Laptop Backpacks for Men Women with USB Charging Port School Computer Book Bag for College Travel Backpack Fits Under 17 Inch Laptop,Grey www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0779W818N/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_8WYRBbK4MBCM9?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21
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