To think my daughter needs a new bag?

[notsokeen]

Dd 18 started her hnc college course on Monday. She has a lot of stuff to take to college so she has a backpack and a laptop bag, however the laptop bag looks a lot like a briefcase. She came home from college yesterday and said that her course mates took the piss out of her (which she’s fine with, she knows how to laugh at herself), but a few people were laughing at her in the canteen which she said made her feel paranoid. She really liked the laptop bag as it protects her laptop but she said she might not go to the canteen anymore to eat her lunch and eat it in the corridor instead, as the canteen is where people laugh at her the most. I suggested for her to buy a large handbag, but she hates handbags. I really don’t want her to eat her lunch in the corridors, especially as her friends won’t be doing that as they eat canteen food whereas my dd has a packed lunch so she’ll be left out. I think she just needs to get a new bag that will fit everything, but she doesn’t want to go shopping for another one. Should I just buy her one? Or ‘force’ her to go shopping for one or let her take the laptop bag and still get mocked at. I just want her to enjoy her course with no worry or stress!

Probably better to learn how to rise above nasty immature people

There will be idiots in every walk of life for the rest of her life, so instead of always buying new stuff / changing herself , is just teach her how to deal with these people. I’ve alwYs found just laughing too or alternatively ignoring the haters seems to work 👍

You should tell her to ignore stupid people and use whatever bag she likes.

My DD uses a classic man's leather briefcase for her laptop, because she likes it. She also has one of the those ridiculously expensive fjallraven backpacks with a space for her laptop, for days when she has more stuff to carry.

These backpacks are VERY popular at my uni amongst younger people, they also have a laptop sleeve inside them

www.huhstore.com/products/herschel-retreat-backpack-black-tan

If she's happy using it then she needs to start standing up to the bullies.

Personally I don't use a laptop bag for my expensive laptop because I can't be bothered with the hassle of carrying two separate bags. I have a laptop backpack which has room for the laptop and accessories in a separate protective pocket and all my other stuff including my lunch in a separate compartment. So much easier to carry and everything is in one place!

I love that your daughter is standing her ground

Yes - but daughter is proposing to eat in the corridor

I’m impressed that she isn’t caving to peer pressure.

All you can do in this situation (and every other situation she will find herself in ) is discuss her options and support her decisions.

Yes, the daughter isn’t standing her ground she’s simply making a different adjustment: eating in the corridor rather than getting a new bag.

Be proud of your daughter.

She is being very independent and mature I need the face of what amounts to bullying pressure by a bunch of insecure fools.

Don’t change the bag when it’s the idiots who ought to be changing. It’s a bit worrying that she feels she needs to modify her behaviour because of their bullying, ie avoiding the canteen. That’s absolutely not on, and makes me think she should notify the college authorities.

The best thing you could give her is praise and support, and remind her the college pastoral team should help if it all gets too much.

DH has a laptop rucksack thing.

Fits a large laptop with charger, various cables that I have no idea (suspect he doesn’t either) what they do, A4 notebook, laser pointy thing (apparently for teaching 😂), lunchbox, travel coffee mug, jar of coffee, iPad and large headphones. And there’s still room for more shite.

She could get a sleeve for her laptop so it's protected and put that in her backpack

18 year old collage students laughing at a bag?!

Good on your daughter for not changing for other people though

Good on her for keeping the bag she likes despite what a bunch of sneering, immature idiots think. Why the buggery fuck anyone would think it's appropriate to try to fit in with such a nasty bunch is beyond me. Why should she change her bag to one they like? And as PP have said, they'll just find something else, some other slight, perceived difference, because that's what bullies do.

Personally, I'd be helping to build her self esteem and encouraging her to see these people for what they are. And she can just eat in the canteen, because not doing so is also changing for the sake of these idiots.

But buying a new bag for these wankers? Fuck that.

Shocked that kids of this age would take the piss out of a bag. How immature. My DD uses a rucksack with an interior slot for a laptop. Laptop also has its own neoprene skin thing, so v well protected. Many good purchases on Amazon. You're a nice mum, the kids are truely shallow for their age.

People saying she doesn't care what people think good on her there .I agree she should be like that but she obviously does care because he's moved out of the dining room and shes mentioned it to her mum that people are laughing at her. To me that screams it is really affecting her to not eat with a mate's that someone walking away scared from egg situation not not giving up a fuk

I wonder if they are laughing because of the inbetweeners “briefcase” joke - Will starting a new school with a briefcase. If she can just laugh it off they’ll get over it.

To be honest I'm shocked at how bloody mean some people are. and at this age. tell it to tell them to go f** themselves and get over it get over themselves

The only worry I would have would not be the laughing at her but the fact that she is advertising the fact that she is carrying an expensive laptop about with her and being handheld it is easier for a snatch and grab.
The laptop rucksacks look like any other rucksack and are more secure as they are carried on your back.

where has she signed up, dickhead college? put a couple of bricks in the so-hilarious bag and hit the sneerers with it...

is the place 100% dickhead apart from her? not worth worrying about these losers.

I think its a great credit to your daughter that she is sticking to her guns and using the bag she wants to use. It's horrible when people are being mean to your children but follow her lead and let her manage it her own way. Don't force her to have a bag she doesn't want just because some of the kids are arseholes.

Tell her not to eat in the corridor though. These type of kids will sense any sort of capitulation (including buying a new bag) as weakness. Nasty bastards.

Good for her. She doesn't want a new bag! Sounds like she doesn't want to eat lunch with them anyway. Give her some cash to treat herself, she sounds amazing.

How tragic that 18 year olds are laughing at her for it. Pathetic bullies - really irritates me.

I would encourage her to continue with the briefcase bag if that what she likes AND use the canteen. Fuck what everyone else thinks. It's a bag. They'll find a new victim soon enough.

I wouldn't buy her one if she doesn't want to change it. Poor thing, why are some people such dicks. FFS at that age you'd think they would have outgrown such pathetic behaviour but I guess once a bully and all that.

Are they definitely laughing at her?!

She is hardly standing up to them if she is just going to sit and eat her lunch in the corridor-that is bizarre.

But buying a new bag for these wankers? Fuck that

I agree

The problem isn't the bag it's the bullies

Buying a new bag doesn't cure the problem - it moves the problem on

Standing up for herself will solve the problem as will inorimg the asehats