To think some posters just see AIBU as a bloodsport

[Lydiaatthebarre]

Honestly, just seen another thread today where someone posted about something mildly annoying, some posters agreed with her, some didn't. Fair enough.

But a good many of those disagreeing were so unrelentingly nasty and spiteful - way out of proportion to what the poster was complaining about.

I've seen this so many times recently - posters circling around an OP who has made a mildly annoyed comment about something, like an ignorant mob hissing and booing and catcalling until a chastened OP just silently leaves the thread. And of course there's the s added to the end of the nastier comments as if that makes them okay.

I know AIBU has always been known for the 'robustness' of its debates, but some posters seem to lose all sense of decency and maturity on here.

AIBU?

YANBU

Very, very true. On one thread recently a poster complained about her mum not being supportive when she’s feeling down and the second comment was from someone calling her an entitled nacissist. That’s real bullying. The site is full of keyboard warriors who would never be so vile if they had to face the real world consequences.

YANBU. And don’t forget all the people do eager to get their turn at the ritual stoning that they don’t even bother skimming the thread first.

“AIBU to do this?”
“Yes, don’t do that.”
“Oh ok then, fair enough. Won’t do it.”
(Three days and four hundred posts later): “Yes you would be UTTERLY unreasonable!! I can’t believe how entitled people are these days. How can you even ask? God you seem like hard work”, and on and on and on.

Yes, all this throwing around of personal insults - narcissist, CF, entitled cow etc. I don't know any adults who speak to each other like that in RL, but some seem to think it's okay to come on here and hurl these terms at people for the slightest of reasons.

Was it on a sweary thread? I saw some pretty shitty behaviour towards one poster, it really wasn't pleasant. I guess you get arseholes everywhere but AIBU seems to attract them to post.

I think there are some prize bellends on this site. The venom from some, in response to the mildest of ops / posts is utterly baffling to me, to be honest.

BUT, I think (hope) most posters are pretty decent and usually the worst bellends are reprimanded for their bellendry. But then... is that also blood sport 🤔? Tricky.

I can't remember if there was a lot of swearing on the thread, but there was lots of sneering and 'is that all you have to worry about' along with the insults and slurs.

Snowflakes. If you have an opinion expect it to be challenged.
Or at very least take from it why someone may find your opinion to be at fault

AIBU is sometimes very aggressive. I would never post on there it's like throwing yourself to the lions. Pity, as sometimes I would like the benefit of Mumsnet wisdom and perspective.

It’s true AIBU can be pretty bracing.

And yes, posters sometimes cross the line of reasonable responses but on the other side OPs quite often “silently leave the thread” because they don’t hear what they wanted to (which was to be told they are right)

If you post something outrageously unreasonable or offensive (which happens quite regularly) it’s probably quite character building to have your hat handed to you.

I agree posters should endeavour to renain polite while telling the OP how wrong they are though and I do hate “internet diagnoses”.

YANBU. But also, the OP attacking you because you point s out that they were BU.

Well - you did ask!

Totally agree! Some people take MN way too seriously. And also calling people "snowflakes" is the best way to out yourself as a massive twat

YANBU. Some posters are so nasty and can’t disagree with civility. I’ve had that a few times lately where someone has disagreed with or wilfully misinterpreted my point and then been abusive.

I just report and move on. The internet is full of it. Imagine how sad someone’s life must be to get a kick from doing that!

YANBU
The words 'entitled', 'narcissist' and 'snowflake' should be banned from AIBU. Then people might have to think a bit harder about their responses.
It makes you wonder how many people who seem perfectly nice in RL are actually nasty bastards.

Yanbu.

Happy that's fair enough.

But I'm talking about posters who post about some everyday trivial thing e.g. kids shouting in a restaurant, their sister forgetting their birthday and they get absolutely vilified, insulted and sneered at by posters who seem extremely angry and het up about it, egging each other on and piling on the nasty comments.

YANBU. Of course they do!

It can also become very boring when people simply resort to insulting one another, completely disregarding the original question. Few of us IRL would hang around listening to someone else's squabble. Not interesting.

Buster are you saying that disagreeing with someone's viewpoint entitles you to be rude, insulting and aggressive?

YANBU - completely agree. Share your view/opinion, after all the OP asked for it - but sometimes it's like vultures circling, waiting to tear another strip off the poster. What gets me is the supposedly 'insightful' comments/questions, which are usually thinly veiled spite. I also don't understand why people commenting seem to get so riled up? Does it really matter to you, to the point you need to be rude?

I have been around years and AIBU has always been like this. I have also seen posts like yours Op about AIBU but nothing changes. If you are going to post in/on AIBU then you need to get your tin hat and flame resistent suite on.

I also don't understand why some posters get so het up about why a poster 'bothered to post about something like this'. There's lots of thread on AIBU about minor and trivial stuff, and always has been. There was a time when they used to inspire really funny and witty responses, people laughing with, not at the OP.

Nowadays you just get the crass, thuggish posters searching for reasons to be rude and unpleasant.

You are right Lydia there are some very angry posters, disproportionately angry in fact. I usually assume that they have issues of their own and discount them.

I’m actually more concerned about those threads where MNers gee an OP on to respond to a difficult relation/friend in more and more extreme ways over many pages and sometimes multiple threads.

MN is, largely entertainment and I have grave misgivings about posters breathlessly demanding updates as if someone’s life is a soap opera.

Lots on MNers are far too quick to suggest going NC with family or dropping friends when a calm conversation would probably sort the problem out.

I agree Zebra that there was always a bitchy element on AIBU. But it seems to have widened and they appear on every second thread now. There's never anything funny or intelligent or insightful in their comments, just nasty schoolgirl spite.

YANBU there was the post the other day where someone said they wished they were closer to their mum and that she would ask about her day etc. One person replied that they were an "entitled narcissist". I think there are quite a few people use AIBU as a place to act out their bitterness and resentments.