To think some posters just see AIBU as a bloodsport

[Lydiaatthebarre]

Honestly, just seen another thread today where someone posted about something mildly annoying, some posters agreed with her, some didn't. Fair enough.

But a good many of those disagreeing were so unrelentingly nasty and spiteful - way out of proportion to what the poster was complaining about.

I've seen this so many times recently - posters circling around an OP who has made a mildly annoyed comment about something, like an ignorant mob hissing and booing and catcalling until a chastened OP just silently leaves the thread. And of course there's the s added to the end of the nastier comments as if that makes them okay.

I know AIBU has always been known for the 'robustness' of its debates, but some posters seem to lose all sense of decency and maturity on here.

AIBU?

I've had some shocking replies to posts, but everyone knows what AIBU is. And some people need a good hard kick up the arse when they post - we all do sometimes.

YANBU

I'm quite new to MN and have been tarred and feathered on a couple of pretty innocuous AIBU threads. I've name changed twice already! I find it frankly bizarre that inoffensive 'I wonder if I'm being unreasonable' comments turn into a barrage of personal abuse. I think there's a clique who do see it as a blood sport and automatically launch any response from a sneering position. The wilful misinterpretation of what the OP has said is very annoying also. I just assume they are deeply unhappy people. Disagreement is one thing, insults and abuse are quite another.

I often find myself wondering what some people are actually like in rl. I mean I’m middle aged and have met thousands of people in my life time but never any like the ones who are so vile on aibu. Are they real? Or is it just an online persona? Are people really that spiteful, rude and viscous in rl? If so I wouldn’t imagine they have many friends

Completely agree. Nobody irl has ever called me names but it's happened several times here. I hate the way one poster takes a dislike to another and then another half a dozen pile in like a gang of kids in a playground.

I often find myself wondering what some people are actually like in rl.

I suspect new that how they behave onMN is a fairly true reflection of their real selves. Not necessarily the face they present to the world in RL but how they actually feel and think inside.

I found FB an eye opener from that point of view too. I’ve discovered that some of my acquaintances are far more insecure, bitchier and ill-informed that I had ever guessed.

It’s a little (disturbing) window into people’s souls.

I was very disappointed to discover that I’d been friends with a family for years without realising that they were racist. They were astonished to be cut off.

Just seen another thread. Perfectly normal complaint that I've heard people mention in real life as being annoying. On MN this person is entitled, a CF, obviously leads a very boring life etc etc etc.

I mean, fine, say you think the OP is being a bit fussy or impatient or getting a bit stressed over something small if that's what you think. We're never all going to agree on everything. But the jeering and sneering and high indignation of some posters is a bit unsettling. It really is like they just enjoy finding reasons to attack and belittle others.

Rudeness is intolerable.
But a robust challenge to an opinion, and acceptance of the fact when you wrong is perfectly ok.

I agree. But that's not what I was talking about in my OP.

I was talking about the gratuitous spite and venom that seems to be on the increase here nowadays. There's nothing 'snowflake' about OPs finding that unpleasant and upsetting.

I saw a heartbroken lady's thread not too long ago, pregnant with no support, agonising over whether or not to get an abortion - one poster repeatedly told her she 'belongs on Jeremy Kyle'

We’ve had this thread every week for years, yabu.

There definitely seem to people constantly ready to pounce with the nasty comment. Like it's their full time job.

The attitude is "I'm hard as nails, with no weaknesses. Why aren't you?"

I think it's says far more about them than the op. Just have to try to ignore because presumably they are getting off on feeling they've caused an effect. Pretty sad really.

Feel free not to open threads on topics you're bored with Fission.

I agree tobee. Some posters seem to be constantly licking their lips in anticipation of an opportunity to spit out some venom.

Feel free not to open threads on topics you're bored with Fission

You’ve just given an unnecessarily arsey response, the same as youre complaining of.

No. I'm complaining about people who make rude, spiteful and nasty comments.

If someone comes onto a thread to tell the OP that their thread is boring, 'not this again' etc is the OP not allowed respond. I genuinely meant my reply. My thread was clearly titled, so why not just ignore it rather than opening it to make a pointless criticism?

There are certain topics I'm bored of reading about on MN so I just don't open the threads. Why go in and tell the posters interested in discussing the issue that their conversation is boring?

Something happened which made me really cross a couple of days ago, and I thought about starting a thread about it. I was pretty annoyed, and needed to get things off my chest.

Then I decided not to post anything at all because I knew if I did, I would get a totally unjustified kicking.

My thread was clearly titled, so why not just ignore it rather than opening it to make a pointless criticism?

You’re thread is posted in AIBU?! The very fact you posted here means you posted a question, I simply responded.

You didn't respond to the question Fussion, that's my point.

If you do have a view on it, of course you're entitled to say.

I said “Yabu” how the hell is that not a response to “AIBU”?!

I agree some of the “yawn”, “bore me later” posts are pretty pointless.

I have been accused of doing this^^ before and I had to correct the op by saying that I didn’t think her op was boring, I actually thought it was unpleasant. I’d said something like “what a horrible post” and gone into a bit more detail. Op came back with “if you don’t like it scroll on”. But that’s not the point of Aibu is it? What she really wanted to say was “if you don’t agree with me, scroll on”.

But yes “yawn” is particularly unhelpful. It’s unclear whether they think the op is a troll or they just fine the topic boring etc. More detail please!

Apologies Fission. I thought you meant I was being unreasonable to start a thread on a topic that had been done before.

I didn't realise you were actually disagreeing with my point about nasty posters and felt it wasn't an issue.

I accept your apology. Perhaps think before you type next time though.

I will. Perhaps you could also word your posts a bit more clearly though. It really wasn't very clear what you meant, which led to my error.

You’re a good sport .

They do, but as it has a reputation for being such, why not let them?

If you need intelligent advice then there are corners of MN where this is forthcoming. If you don't then head to AIBU or FWR.