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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my husband not to say this.

83 replies

cabbage78 · 27/09/2018 09:25

At a restaurant with my dh..I have a large phone that always gets a lot of questions. The young waitress asked me about it and I replied that I was thinking of getting a new one as it was too big. My husband then pipes up with "well she is used to having big things in her hand" the waitress seemed embarrassed send moved on..I was mortified. I am quite an introvert private person anyway and this was too much for me. I told him this wasn't appropriate and he barked at me that it was a joke and I need to grow up.

OP posts:
Pemba · 27/09/2018 09:29

Hmm, I would say that you're not the one who needs to grow up here.

FissionChips · 27/09/2018 09:29

Was he drunk? You should have just made a joke about needing a microscope or something.

Lazypuppy · 27/09/2018 09:29

Why would your phone get lots of questions asked about it? misses point

prettypossums · 27/09/2018 09:30

Eurghh does he often do this sort of thing?

ArianwenTheAstronaut · 27/09/2018 09:30

Yanbu. Is he normally like that or just a bit of a weird foot in mouth thing?

SerenDippyEggs · 27/09/2018 09:30

Errr! You can bet that story is one the waitressing team will remember and laugh about for ages Grin

Agree with PP, he's the one that needs to grow up not you.

ArianwenTheAstronaut · 27/09/2018 09:31

Agreed seren Grin.

Yours sincerely; a waitress!

IStandWithPosie · 27/09/2018 09:31

Ewwwww! Sexual innuendos to a total stranger. Creep.

MsHomeSlice · 27/09/2018 09:32

people ask about unusual phones.

people marry idiots! ...what can you do??

Was that sort of comment a one, off OP...did he think he was being flirtatious and winsome, or is being silly a knob out of character for him?

Singlenotsingle · 27/09/2018 09:33

He's an embarrassment. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong audience, gross!

shinycat · 27/09/2018 09:34

URGH, some men think they are soooooooo funny. Hmm

It was inappropriate, but sounds like something a few men I know would say. They think they are hilarious, and when they are called out, and someone has a go at them, they come out with the 'you have no sense of humour' line! I have known men say stupid, unfunny, rude things, and be laughing til they cry at how funny they think they are, and everyone around them is just cringing, while they say' you can laugh it's ok, ba ha ha!' They seem oblivious to what a cunt they look like, and how they are embarrassing themselves, and making people around them feel awkward.

Barking at you and saying you need to grow up, along with the rude joke in front of what was a very young woman, makes him seem like an obnoxious, rude twat.

Is he rude and obnoxious normally?

I don't know what to suggest really - except saying 'you are a DICK' very loudly, next time he says something.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/09/2018 09:34

Creep. Maybe next time put your phone away while having dinner?

prettypossums · 27/09/2018 09:35

did he think he was being flirtatious and winsome

I suspect he probably did... I dread to think what he says to waitresses and the like when op isn't around.

Hideandgo · 27/09/2018 09:36

Christ, that’s some lack of self awareness there. What an utter twat. I seriously would not be with someone like that, if he says that in a restaurant it’s indicative of much wider asholeness.

He doesn’t have a clue.

WasabiSpring · 27/09/2018 09:37

I'd probably find that funny - but only in the 'what an idiot' sense. And feel bad for you.

Original poster
cabbage78 · 27/09/2018 09:42

Yes..he is a malignant narcissist..so I have to put up with bad behavior all the time..I just wasn't sure on this one.

OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 27/09/2018 09:44

Urghh. I'd have been mortified if my DH said this in a restaurant to a complete stranger. I could understand it with his mates maybe but not to a random person. Gross.

AGHHHH · 27/09/2018 09:44

Cringe! (Him).

Also, are you sure it's a phone and not a tablet? How big can it be? What is it?

Properjob · 27/09/2018 09:46

Oh Cabbage. Did you want to expand on that.....?

shinycat · 27/09/2018 09:46

A young woman I know who used to work as a waitress, said she regularly used to get men - flirting with her, (and her friends.) Always men who were at LEAST 20 years older. They always tried to be funny and made comments that they thought were hilarious. Some rude, some just plain stupid, but all unfunny.

The young women thought they were sad and a bit pathetic, when they tried to be funny, and tried 'banter,' and they felt embarrassed for him, and also felt sorry for his wife. Behind every man who tries to be hilarious, charming, funny, and flirty with barmaids and waitresses and cashiers, is a very embarrassed wife who wants the floor to swallow her up.

I don't know why men do it. They just look like twats. And everyone is thinking it. And if their wife/partner says anything, they are accused of being boring, or unreasonable, or having no sense of humour, and are even accused of being jealous.

God forbid his wife behaves like this around men though. Hmm

hooliodancer · 27/09/2018 09:47

People who tell people to grow up are VERY annoying.

Is this how he normally behaves? Very embarrassing for you.

RhythmStix · 27/09/2018 09:47

I would have chucked my drink in his face and walked out. Seriously. What a tosser (literally, it would appear).

Loyaultemelie · 27/09/2018 09:48

He does sound like a complete arse, it's something my ex would have said. I eventually got out. I also like a phone with a large screen so I can work on it without having to cart laptop around fields etc. I hope you are ok though? Thanks

hooliodancer · 27/09/2018 09:49

If he is a narcissist, who by the sounds of it isn't making you happy, why are you with him?

Snowymountainsalways · 27/09/2018 09:54

What an absolute knob.

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