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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my husband not to say this.

83 replies

cabbage78 · 27/09/2018 09:25

At a restaurant with my dh..I have a large phone that always gets a lot of questions. The young waitress asked me about it and I replied that I was thinking of getting a new one as it was too big. My husband then pipes up with "well she is used to having big things in her hand" the waitress seemed embarrassed send moved on..I was mortified. I am quite an introvert private person anyway and this was too much for me. I told him this wasn't appropriate and he barked at me that it was a joke and I need to grow up.

OP posts:
woollyheart · 27/09/2018 09:58

Well, if it happens again, bark back 'He thinks he HAS a big dick but really he IS a big dick'. And then fall about laughing and tell him he can't take a joke.

Only if course you won't because you aren't crude and rude.

Whereismumhiding2 · 27/09/2018 09:58

Yanbu. Yes, that was embarrassing to waitress and to you. Would he like it if older men made such a comment to his DD, wife or neice?
It's a sexual innuendo about his penis. Which has no place uninvited in her work place /a restaurant. Let alone that you didn't appreciate it.
He totally mis judged it.
He's lucky you or she didn't say "Ewwwww don't be a creep!"
Anyway it's done now, quiet word with him, to please never say again!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/09/2018 09:58

The waitress probably thinks (if she cares)
That he's either got 4 incher when erect or That he's not getting any.
Empty vessels make the loudest noise and all that.

Whereismumhiding2 · 27/09/2018 10:00

Well, if it happens again, bark back 'He thinks he HAS a big dick but really he IS a big dick'. And then fall about laughing and tell him he can't take a joke.

GrinGrin

@woollyheart that's a ballsy and witty comeback!! Grin

Buster72 · 27/09/2018 10:01

Yes innuendo can be cringeworthy, but what waitress comments on a customer's phone?
And how big is it to draw attention in this day and age ?
It's been a decade now of smart phones, it's ages since small was good in the phone world.

shinycat · 27/09/2018 10:02

Yanbu. Yes, that was embarrassing to waitress and to you. Would he like it if older men made such a comment to his DD, wife or niece?

This. ^

The waitress probably thinks (if she cares) That he's either got 4 incher when erect or That he's not getting any. Empty vessels make the loudest noise and all that.

This also. ^

Upshot is, that no way in HELL does any woman/ waitress/ barmaid/ cashier/ any female serving for a living, think that a man (particularly one old enough to be her dad) is funny, cute, sexy, endearing, when he says some rude innuendo, or makes a cheeky remark. She just thinks he's a cunt.

Bluewidow · 27/09/2018 10:03

It's not that bad. You should have just come back with a reply " yes darling I do, it's a shame it's not yours though."

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 27/09/2018 10:06

BlueGrinGrinGrin
That's fab. That's tickled me the day that one

Ceilingrose · 27/09/2018 10:07

Telling you to grow up after you object to an embarrassing thing he said, is insulting you in order to deflect. Not nice, is it?

Medea13 · 27/09/2018 10:10

I have to put up with bad behavior

No, you don't. You have options.

Angelil · 27/09/2018 10:10

I'm with @hooliodancer...my first reaction was "and you're with him because...?"

NonaGrey · 27/09/2018 10:13

He addressed sexual comments to a young, female stranger?

Oh yes, he’s clearly hysterical. Hmm

TeddybearBaby · 27/09/2018 10:14

Yuk! Wouldn’t like it at all! My husband thinks it’s funny to say to people (as a joke) ‘if she doesn’t have my dinner on the table I’ll give her a slap’ or that sort of thing. It’s always awkward and no one ever actually finds it funny. I’ve told him a few times ‘people don’t laugh and you make yourself look like an idiot and a bully’ he does this 🙄 like I can’t take a joke but I think he must have thought about what I said because I haven’t heard that ‘joke’ for a while actually.

TheDarkPassenger · 27/09/2018 10:17

Oh I think I would have laughed Blush am I one of those people? Sad

TeddybearBaby · 27/09/2018 10:23

Different senses of humour isn’t it @TheDarkPassenger. I hate toilet humour. Love sarcasm! Lowest form of wit haha. Some people hate the office. I love it.

HidingFromMyKids · 27/09/2018 10:23

My old boss made comments like this daily. He was late 60's and frequently asked about my 20 something friends. Did we have sleepovers Hmm

Wouldn't go back for a million pounds.

VanillaSugary · 27/09/2018 10:26

I hope he left a BIG tip.

My DD has been waitressing all summer and has had to put up with all sorts of flirtations / innuendos / put downs / verbal abuse from the clientele. It's always from the men. Apart from the women who are very particular about their coffees missesthepointofthethread

MiggledyHiggins · 27/09/2018 10:36

Ew.

The only big dick is him.

Lovemusic33 · 27/09/2018 10:47

He’s a narcissist so why are you with him? You don’t have to put up with it. I went out with someone like this, his comments (which he thought were just jokes) towards others would make me cringe. I’m so glad he’s my ex.

ChinaCrisis · 27/09/2018 10:57

Would he have made this comment if the member of staff was a tall, stocky 45 year old man?

Thought not.

Complete twat.

Rhiannon13 · 27/09/2018 11:01

He was basically telling the waitress he (thinks he) has a big cock.

So no, you're not being unreasonable. Personally, I'd have made him apologise to the waitress while informing her that the phone it is in fact the ONLY big thing I ever have in my hand. And then I'd have dumped him.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/09/2018 11:03

Why are you with this pig? What an absolute twat.

CalonGlas · 27/09/2018 11:03

Is he Robin Thicke?

Eatmycheese · 27/09/2018 11:04

Toe curling
Is your husband is trying to emulate one of the characters out of Men Behaving Badly?
Total turn off and he needs to take the advice he erroneously dishes out to you

Haireverywhere · 27/09/2018 11:08

At a push I can find jokes like that funny when I'm on the wine and with friends but innuendo with a waitress? Not a fan.