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AIBU?

PTA - AIBU to think it's a nightmare?

83 replies

yellowspottedwellies · 26/09/2018 15:41

I just had an email From the school asking for volunteers for the PTA.
Part of me is tempted, but the biggest part of me thinks that the PTA is just going to be a nightmare - full of pushy women with grand designs. My son is in year six but my daughter starts next September and I've always had a feeling that I perhaps I should be doing more - so what I'm asking is for your opinions on your PTA!

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Asterado · 26/09/2018 16:04

Full of playground politics. I don’t mind baking the odd cake or manning a stall for an hour but when it comes to meetings and money, I stay well clear!

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Hoppinggreen · 26/09/2018 16:07

We are just a bunch of power hungry bored housewives who do it to suck up to The Head so our child gets to be Mary in The Nativity.
OR
we are a group of working ( some FT and some PT) parents and teachers who give up our free time to put on activities that you and your children can enjoy and that also raise much needed funds for YOUR child’s school
Why don’t you try and find out which

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shoofly · 26/09/2018 16:08

Our PTA has people who just want to help the school, we probably could do more but often feel that there's a limit to how much we can beg money from parents in the current financial climate. We could do with more energy and more new ideas but we can't get past peoples assumptions that it's a drama.

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bestbefore · 26/09/2018 16:08

OR you might make some nice friends, get to know a bit more about the school, feel good about helping raise a bit of money which the school can use for kids benefit and get something which looks reasonable on a cv?

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Rainagain1 · 26/09/2018 16:08

I personally think PTA has a bad rep. Yes there can be bad ones that are clique and unfriendly but the most are really nice. Also worth remembering they are not doing it for the fun of it but to enhance the school experience of everyone's children. Pta funds often prop up school budget short falls and offer extras that schools just can't.
If you can help then you should. And if you go along and find them unwelcoming/rude then don't have to go back.

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SayZ · 26/09/2018 16:09

I’m on the pta ours isn’t like that at all- just trying to raise enough money cover the the events we fund every year such as book week, creative weeks etc but it’s getting harder less money raised and less people willing to help :(
Plus side all lovely bunch of mums and dads on our pta

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TheHollowLeggedGoat · 26/09/2018 16:09

I loved being part of ours. It wasn't cliquey at all. It was a great way to meet parents from across all age groups, many of whom are still my friends ten years on.

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Kokapetl · 26/09/2018 16:10

I went along to a meeting of ours and they all seemed nice. Some good ideas, some less good and fairly open discussion of all. There were also quite a few people I knew vaguely too. Maybe just go to a meeting before you commit to anything? Some PTAs are good, some bad, depends on the school and the people.

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BreconBeBuggered · 26/09/2018 16:10

Depends on your school and its parents. Are there lots of 'pushy women with grand designs'? What are the men like?

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MrsFogi · 26/09/2018 16:10

I'm in a senior school PTA and I don't see any of that - the more people that get involved the more the PTA can help the school. Everyone's just there to see how they can help the school a bit.

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Cherryminx · 26/09/2018 16:12

Have done it in two schools. One was nice with friendly people and lots of fun. One was very divided with two parent factions and a bit stressful.

Being on the committee is quite a lot of work and commitment. You could just offer to be a regular volunteer.

What it's like depends on your school and what you are like. It helps if the head teacher is interested

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Sunnymeg · 26/09/2018 16:27

Ours was made up of a group of mums whose children had all been to the same village preschool and a few brave mums who dared to turn up to meetings with them. I had been asked to become Treasurer by the Head, as. I have a financial background, so they had to put up with me. If I hadn't had the role or responsibility I don't think I would have had the nerve to keep showing up for meetings as they were very antagonistic to other parents who weren't part of their gang.

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HardofCleaning · 26/09/2018 16:29

I think it varies school to school. My DCs school it's a mix, some parents who have time and expertise to share. Some who are just bored housewives who want to rule the school and feel important because they speak to the HT.

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PurpleAndTurquoise · 26/09/2018 16:30

Our PTA has always been lovely whenever I have helped out at events. It's probably what you make it.

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forestdweller11 · 26/09/2018 16:31

It depends on who else is in the PTA and how strong the chair is and whether they are able to keep control of the more forceful ones. If I had my time again I'd avoid the pta and just volunteer in school as a 'helper' and volunteer to man a stall at fairs and things.

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ExFury · 26/09/2018 16:36

It varies school to school. I’m still part of a ‘friends of’ style pta at DD1’s primary school. It’s lovely and it’s just lots of parents pulling together to get things the school needs.

DD2’s high school PTA I’m on. Her primary school one was hideous. 4 very loud and wealthy parents getting steadily more competitive.

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skinnyamericano · 26/09/2018 16:42

Ours is totally non-cliquey - in fact, none of us actually socialise outside of the meetings, although they are all lovely. Just different friendship groups I guess. We’re a mixture of SAHPs, WOHPs etc - definitely no power-hungry non-working Mums!

There are no perks to be gained at my school, so just purely there to raise money and buy great things for the kids.

Go for it - PTAs are usually desperate for members and will welcome you with open arms.

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AnotherDayAnotherDollarRight · 26/09/2018 16:44

Ours is a laugh. No one takes themself seriously, but everyone works very hard to raise money for the children. The whole school is going on a trip soon, funded by the PTA. It's a nice thing to do.

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Chickenitalia · 26/09/2018 16:44

Our pta is lovely and the parents on it are my best friends. I met them as part of the preschool committee and that was horrendous as an experience, so fundraising doing fun things we enjoy is a pleasure by comparison. Going in the staff room isn’t really all that, lol! But it does mean you get to see a slightly different side to the staff at school, and much easier when your child has or causes an issue, ime 😁 Just try it and see, even a few hours to run a stall at a fair will be grabbed with both hands here, followed by a nice drinking session. If you hate it, it’s easy to hide away and never go back.

Pro tip: unless you want to be hated, don’t criticise previous events. We’re doing the best with the time we have.

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IDrinkFromTheKegOfGlory · 26/09/2018 16:46

Ours is great. We meet monthly at a local pub, the men and women on it are mostly really good for a laugh and we end up raising a tonne of money for the kids to have trips/resources etc that the school otherwise wouldn't be able to afford.

It can be hard work but usually any fundraising events end in a piss-up (for the adults, not the kids!) so I'm happy with that 😁

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dementedpixie · 26/09/2018 16:47

I wish parents would support ours as we had a grand total of 3 parents at our meeting last night which is pitiful for a high school of our size

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GunpowderGelatine · 26/09/2018 16:49

We are very lucky and have a fantastic PTA, they never stop, we get a summer ball, they've just bought an ice cream cart and coffee hut for the sports field and there's always something in. I would join but honestly with a baby I just couldn't commit to the time

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dayswithaY · 26/09/2018 16:58

Ours was horrible. Full of pushy parents who all had their own agenda and guess what? Their children mysteriously got picked for every lead role, school prize etc. One PTA Mum told me my child would win the raffle that day as I had helped run a stall and they did - along with every PTA Mum's little darling - and no one said a word! Volunteer your services but maybe swerve the politics.

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Bubblysqueak · 26/09/2018 16:59

I must be really lucky as we have a lovely PA. I think it helps the meetings are held in the pub!

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weaving5688 · 26/09/2018 17:01

there's no packing of plays or raffles at ours - you do find PTA often win more raffle prizes as they buy more tickets though. I wouldn't say there isn't some interpersonal stuff to navigate but you get that with any group of people, in fact I'd say that you probably get nicer, kinder people in a PTA than another sort of group, better than work teams anyway with all the jostling for promotions.

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