PTA - AIBU to think it's a nightmare?

[yellowspottedwellies]

I just had an email From the school asking for volunteers for the PTA.
Part of me is tempted, but the biggest part of me thinks that the PTA is just going to be a nightmare - full of pushy women with grand designs. My son is in year six but my daughter starts next September and I've always had a feeling that I perhaps I should be doing more - so what I'm asking is for your opinions on your PTA!

[adadsoz]

I'm on the PTA (Treasurer), I'd say get involved with helping at events (disco's etc) as that is the fun bit, but my word it's a pain in the backside being on the committee.. If I have one more conversation about the ecological impact of fruitshoots vs impracticality of paper cups and squash I think I may go barmy!!!

[Holymolymackerel]

I went to my dd's school pta meeting for the first time the other evening. I won't be joining. The reason being, the head doesn't want a pta, apparently has done everything to get them to give up, says no to most ideas, makes it difficult, never wants the proceeds. Apparently, over the last few years the relationship between the pta and staff has disintegrated.

Of course, this was only their opinion but even so I'm not getting involved in such politics and shenanigans.

[MsVestibule]

in fact what they mean is that they want very specific people to join (usually sahms and gossips).

miladymilord what wording do they use that gives you that impression?

[Miladymilord]

My only experience with various PTAS is that they are always begging for help but in fact what they mean is that they want very specific people to join (usually sahms and gossips).

[irregularegular]

irregular usually the belief is based on experience. Not Al PTA members are like that in some schools nine are like that but it's definitely a phenomenon that exists.

It didn't sound like that in the OPs case. It sounded like she had little or no experience of PTAs and the belief was based almost entirely on stereotypes.

[Monr0e]

@PecanPastry the head sent out a letter yesterday morning quickly retracting the idea and apologising for any offence caused. She had obviously received a few complaints since the idea was put forward!

[Kool4katz]

Hugely cliquey. However, it's a Catholic school and I'm not Catholic, so I think it comes down to that in my case.
I got voted on to replace the treasurer who wanted to step down at an AGM, then the following week, the chair said a load of bull such as I'd struggle to understand the accounts (!) so they'd persuaded the treasurer to stay on. Obviously, bullshit as it's a tiny village school, so how hard could it be?
I work p/t as a freelance hairdresser as it's something I trained in after having DS as I fancied a change from my previous hugely stressful job. Plus I have 2 degrees (Law & PG in IT), but they don't know that.
I'm now involved with our local Coderdojo and it's great fun.

[PecanPastry]

I've recently got involved with my schools PTA, I haven't quite fully made my mind up about it yet, but you never know until you go along.

Thing is, every PTA will be different because different people will create a different dynamic, ours are all lovely, but very different personality types, which I think works well but you have to be confident in navigating the situations that this inevitably may give rise to and I think it may take me some time to make an in with them all but I just focus on the shared aim that we are all there for. (I daresay I probably get on their nerves with my overenthusiasm at times!)

As MatildatheCat has said, I think the PTA needs rebranding, there are probably lots of people out there who may join but don't owing to the stereotypes.

Interestingly OP, I thought about going to a meeting for about a year, before I actually did, I dipped my toe in with the volunteering first, which I suppose proves the stereotype right.

[PecanPastry]

@Monr0e that's absolutely horrendous, PTA is about promoting inclusiveness as much as anything else - let us know how the bun fight goes

[RiverOrange]

I did PTA for one yr and legged it. I joined to help the school and make friends how stupid was I. There was the queen bee of the PTA who eye rolled every time you made a suggestion or simply ignored you but spoke enthusiastically if any of her friends made a suggestion, even if it was the same suggestion you had just made.

None of them ever said hello if you bumped into them in the playground, many a cheery 'hello', was left floating around in the air. Eyes averted as they walked past. Snide remarks around about members who had the gall to miss a meeting or their conduct during an event eg not raising enough money being one of them. Couldn't leave fast enough.

[theSnuffster]

Oh and the only 'benefit' is that we might find out the date of some events a little earlier than other parents! No front row seats or free entry or whatever else!

[theSnuffster]

Ours isn't like the stereotype at all. They're a nice bunch. I manage to make it to meetings now and again and have helped with a few events in the past. But there's no pressure, some people can help lots and others very little. They're really grateful for any help at all. And they understand that some people genuinely can't help at all. They've raised loads of money for great things for the school- iPads, forest school resources etc- things that otherwise the school wouldn't have been able to buy.

[TheNavigator]

I'd avoid like the plague if I were you...

[coatsandats]

Whoa!

That's a case of the intended tone being very different to the received tone!

I'm calm.

But, definitely don't join if you already think you don't like people. It'll be a waste of your time.

[Busybusybust]

Aw. I loved my years on the PTA. I’m not the most confident person, but the other members were lovely. I am famous for introducing Pimms to the end of term bbq, after speeches in the cathedral! 20 years on, they still do it!

[PhilomenaButterfly]

I'm a member of the PTA. We were the ones who organised the cake sales, which paid for the summer fair, which in turn paid for new play equipment. The climbing frame was ripping children's clothes and giving them skelfs, so it was desperately needed.

[yellowspottedwellies]

Calm the fuck down @coatsandats ! What a aggressive answer.

[bonbonours]

Pretty sure all the 'best parts in the play' nonsense is complete urban myth. Most teachers neither know nor care who is on the pta. Most people on pta just want to help their kids' school.

Also most people who think other people are being cliquey have never bothered to try talking to them.

Most pta are desperate for more people who can help out as usually its a small handful of people doing a lot of work. The danger is if you agree to be chair or treasurer etc you may get stuck with it as nobody else will agree to take it on from you.

[blackteasplease]

I stood for parent governor to avoid It!

[coatsandats]

*tomwuote = to quote

[coatsandats]

Someone has belatedly joined ours clearly with the idea that it's full of "pushy women with grand designs" tomwuote you, OP.

Frankly I wish she would either stop coming to the meetings or at leat directly state her low opinion of us so we can set her straight. Instead it's all attitude and snide comments. She has decided that we don't work full time (with one exception we all do) etc etc. She's fine with the men (mostly) but has definitely decided that the women are of a type. SO weird.

So yeah, if you're thinking of joining but have already decided that you won't like anyone else on the committee then either give your head a wobble or don't join. You'll just be subconsciously looking for confirmation of your prejudice and it'll be unhelpful all round. Save your time.

[scottishlovely]

If you have the time to help, please give it a go. It may end up being a bunch of bitchy alpha mums, in which case just leave again. Or, like at my school, it might be a group of lovely parents who work really hard to raise as much money as we can to buy even essential gear now that the school simply can't fund anymore.
I got so annoyed last year at the tiny amount of people that bothered to come along to meetings. I absolute understand that many parents work full time, have other commitments etc. But equally many parents do have time to spare and chose not help. I don't think they realise just how much time and effort goes into organising the events that we do that raises the money so their kids can have a nicer school experience. Grrr!!!

[gamerwidow]

No front row seats, preferential treatment for kids or any other bonuses available to PTA at our school. They wouldn’t even let me sit in the office to draw the raffle I had to sit in the car park in the rain by myself 😂 I seriously need to move schools.

[gamerwidow]

My PTA is great but I would say that because I chair it. If it was full of self important pushy people we’d all be very disappointed as it affords you no power whatsoever while giving you loads of extra stuff to do.

[auntyflonono]

I enjoyed doing it, we had some fun times, but it was also good to finish!