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AIBU?

PTA - AIBU to think it's a nightmare?

83 replies

yellowspottedwellies · 26/09/2018 15:41

I just had an email From the school asking for volunteers for the PTA.
Part of me is tempted, but the biggest part of me thinks that the PTA is just going to be a nightmare - full of pushy women with grand designs. My son is in year six but my daughter starts next September and I've always had a feeling that I perhaps I should be doing more - so what I'm asking is for your opinions on your PTA!

OP posts:
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Bubblysqueak · 26/09/2018 17:01

We also have a lot of dads on ours too, which I think helps stop the cliqueyness .

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Ihaventgottimeforthis · 26/09/2018 17:02

There's only one way to find out - give it a go.
I'm just off to buy the cakes for our AGM tonight.
We're a small group who are giving up some evenings scraping a few hours skived off work here and there to put on our annual fireworks display and raise funds to buy our kids new sports kit, books and glue - not some sort of power-crazy bitch fest.

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GunpowderGelatine · 26/09/2018 17:03

We also have a lot of dads on ours too, which I think helps stop the cliqueyness


Yeah, men are just super at turning those nasty women into saints, where would we be without hem Hmm🙄

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dobbythedoggy · 26/09/2018 17:05

My daughter's school pta was disbanded the year she started. It was difficult to get people to commit long term but lots of vollenters avaliable for just turning up to help. The year 6s now drive the school fundrasing and take the vast majority of responsibility for the christmas and summer fair. I would have joined but would have been limmited with how much I could have done out of school hours due to dh's working hours.

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Frazzled2207 · 26/09/2018 17:06

Our pta is run by lots of well-meaning people, and fairly well. I decided I couldn't really give it the time and energy it deserved but help out at events which is always massively appreciated.

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Monr0e · 26/09/2018 17:07

We have had an email about the pta today. They are introducing a pta tier system depending on how much volunteering you are willing to do. Join the committee you get priority seating at assemblies and no queuing at events. Don't volunteer coz you work full time or any other reason you may have and you are relegated to tier 4 where you are passive aggressively told you and your children are welcome to attend and enjoy the events the pta have worked so hard to put on.

I really do appreciate everything they do and support them as much as I can. But this has certainly ruffled a few feathers!

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RiverOrange · 26/09/2018 17:09

Gunpowder -

Yeah, men are just super at turning those nasty women into saints, where would we be without hem hmm🙄

It is a good thing for men to join because 1) They are parents too and should be helping in practical ways 2)The presence of men does dilute the clique's simply because there is a mixture of women AND men, it gives the group a different dynamic. It doesn't mean the men are 'super at turning nasty women into saints' or whatever silly interpretation you've given it.
You know very well what the poster meant, but you just want to insinuate something that isn't there.

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GunpowderGelatine · 26/09/2018 17:10

I disagree, it was a sexist statement - I've literally never known a 'clique' of women in my life it's a depressing stereotype.

Anyway, not to derail - go for it OP. Ask if you can do it in a trial basis

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Allthewaves · 26/09/2018 17:10

Our pta is nice. Funnily enough it's the parents who never bothered to come or even enquire that call it a click.

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KERALA1 · 26/09/2018 17:14

It is a nightmare but not for the reasons you state. Ime it's full of decent hard pressed people who get moaned and whined at by other non participating parents for providing sweets that might rot teeth or not holding enough events or holding too many events etc etc

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allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 26/09/2018 17:15

Our school PTA is great. A nice crowd of people doing their best to support their children's school.

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lola006 · 26/09/2018 17:19

I’m a PTA chair and have gone to great lengths to make it not cliquey. We have a laugh, I’ve met new people, no one’s kids get better parts in the Xmas play. We just fundraise and try to support the school in getting the extras that they don’t have the budget for.

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QuietNinjaTardis · 26/09/2018 17:21

I’m on the pta. We work hard to raise money to help fund things the school needs. We are all lovely. As far as I know there aren’t any perks though I do get first rummage of the books at the school fair but that’s cos I’m there helping to set up.
We’ve got the agm soon and I can’t go and I’m genuinely disappointed. There’s normally wine and nibbles and we have a laugh while planning the years events.
Give it a go and see what you think.

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ifancyagreencard · 26/09/2018 17:26

DD is at Uni . . . still meet my primary PTA buddies to for vino. It can be a fab way to make friends (but I accept that there are nightmare stories too!)

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Snowymountainsalways · 26/09/2018 17:28

We are just a bunch of power hungry bored housewives who do it to suck up to The Head so our child gets to be Mary in The Nativity.
OR
we are a group of working ( some FT and some PT) parents and teachers who give up our free time to put on activities that you and your children can enjoy and that also raise much needed funds for YOUR child’s school
Why don’t you try and find out which


Wow that was a touch snappy, you would scare me off with a post like that...jeez

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irregularegular · 26/09/2018 17:31

but the biggest part of me thinks that the PTA is just going to be a nightmare - full of pushy women with grand designs

Gosh I hate these posts. What is this belief based on? I've always thought a PTA would be a very odd place for someone with grand designs to waste their time! Our primary PTA was a loose collection of parents (men and women) who worked hard to raise money and organize some good events for the children and parents. There were some great nights! They were very happy for any help, and sometimes slightly frustrated by those who turned their noses up at helping for no good reason. But there weren't actually many of those - most parents helped something at some point over the year.

I'm afraid I'm not really involved with the secondary PTA. It's too far away and I'm busy with other things. But I've got nothing against them and do help at events occasionally.

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MiddlingMum · 26/09/2018 17:32

Ours was very cliquey. It consisted of parents who had actually been at the school themselves years before and they were therefore obviously more important and superior Hmm

I kept out of it and gave the school a donation each term instead, as did other parents who felt the same.

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Jayne232 · 26/09/2018 17:34

I was in the PTA. In the most part they were all nice and just trying to raise a bit of cash for the school. But, like all things involving lots of people there were inevitably some a nnoying people so once I'd done enough I felt it better I leave. I'm not a team work type of person though so it was probably more that.Confused I'm glad I did my bit though as the people who stand on the sides not doing anything and whingeing about 'cliques' are far worse than anyone I met on the PTA in my opinion.

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irregularegular · 26/09/2018 17:34

We have had an email about the pta today. They are introducing a pta tier system depending on how much volunteering you are willing to do. Join the committee you get priority seating at assemblies and no queuing at events. Don't volunteer coz you work full time or any other reason you may have and you are relegated to tier 4 where you are passive aggressively told you and your children are welcome to attend and enjoy the events the pta have worked so hard to put on.

Wow. That's insane. I've never heard of anything like that. Our PTA never got priority on anything! And I don't think they should.

Apart from anything else, lots of people who don't help much with the PTA, are instead volunteering for scouts, guides, football, school governors etc etc

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bestbefore · 26/09/2018 17:35

@Monr0e Shock - that's awful, really awful

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feejee · 26/09/2018 17:36

I've just joined ours (though I think it only consists of 3 people) as I discovered just how desperate most schools are for funds. My son has just started reception and i just want to help fundraise to help but things the school needs to make it a lovely environment to learn in. I'd say have a go and see how you find it .

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Monr0e · 26/09/2018 17:41

Not sure how long the tier system is going to last. It's all kicking off on schools Facebook page!

Our pta are actually lovely and some of the events are great. However penalising parents who can't volunteer by making them sit at the back for everything when they do finally get time off work to attend things is just going to cause a divide, not encourage people to join which I think is the purpose of introducing it.

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MatildaTheCat · 26/09/2018 17:42

Start small and offer to help with something that interests you then get more involved if it seems friendly. I actually wonder if PTA as an institution needs completely rebranding as it has such negative connotations for so many people.

Surely most people want to help in some small way to give the children fun times and raise a bit of money. It can be unexpected skills that are valuable and can be done at home at a time to suit. Doesn’t have to involve day time meetings etc.

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Lazybonita · 26/09/2018 17:42

I can only comment from personal experience.
Before my kids joined the school two of my closest mum friends were on the PTA until a couple of mums turned really nasty towards one of my friends and behaved in a frankly appalling way towards her and her DH (they got the wrong end of the stick and started spreading some horrible and untrue rumours about their family).
For the most part people were unimpressed and I think it mostly backfired on them, but they are still on the PTA and my friends and I stay well clear. Which to be honest is a shame because I love my kids school and under other circumstances would be happy to help out more.

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bestbefore · 26/09/2018 17:43

Monr0e - what events are they organising where parents have to sit in rows? Ours just did the fete, easter cake sale and xmas bazaar

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