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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS starting dance AIBU?

120 replies

ilver70812 · 25/09/2018 19:30

DS is 6. DD1&2 have been going to dance classes for a few years now and DD3 has just started. Now that all his sisters go, DS wants to as well.
DH is not happy about this and is telling me not to let him but DS loves watching his sisters at their classes and is constantly wanting to join in.
Before DD3 started, I just told DS that he was too young, but now that's not possible.
I want to let him (maybe not ballet like DDs do) but DDs also do street dance, which I would be fine with DS doing.
DH is having none of it and saying that I shouldn't have told DS 'maybe'
Any advice?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 25/09/2018 19:31

Your DH is being very odd about this. Of course your DS can dance if he wants. Are there other boys in the ballet class?

RelentlessSylvia · 25/09/2018 19:34

LTB. Billy Elliot was set 34 years ago. Hasn't society moved on a bit since then?

34steps · 25/09/2018 19:35

WTAF? Does your husband really think that boys shouldn't dance? Has he ever seen Billy Elliot?

ProfessorMoody · 25/09/2018 19:37

Erm what? Has he given a reason?

foggetyfog · 25/09/2018 19:37

Why not let him, and ballet too? It's good exercise.

Mivery · 25/09/2018 19:37

Your husband sounds like a jerk, TBH. What is he afraid dancing will gasp make his son gay?!

Let the poor kid dance.

dontfluffthefluffer · 25/09/2018 19:38

A dance class is so much more than just dancing, it's learning new skills in strength and balance as well as listening and social skills. It's such a good thing to do for anyone.

Your dh is being a weirdo schmeirdo. He's 6, he should be able to explore all kinds of things.

dontfluffthefluffer · 25/09/2018 19:39

Also explain to dh that a huge amount of professional rugby and football players also take ballet lessons to help with core strength, muscle conditioning and suppleness.

MigGril · 25/09/2018 19:39

Tell him to get a grip. DS has been doing tap for the last year and a half he's almost 8. He's actually quite good and did his first exam a year before the other children in his group.

I'm more upset he's considering stopping because there are no other boys in his class. If only other parents though about different things. DD does dance to but she also does Scouts as well.

Merryoldgoat · 25/09/2018 19:39

My DS is 5 and has been doing street dance for a year and loves it.

His class was entirely boys until this term - they love it.

Even if it was ballet it’s fine. These stupid fathers and their machismo. I had a boy round on the weekend who wouldn’t drink out of the water bottle I gave him because it was ‘pink’ although it was more purple. I wanted to ask his parents why they haven’t stoped this nonsense but we had other issues that day.

AlexanderHamilton · 25/09/2018 19:39

My Ds is 14 & started dance lessons a year ago, tap & jazz.

If he wants to do ballet absolutely let him. (He will be in so much demand). And ballet is the technical foundation of dance.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/09/2018 19:39

Please don't tell me your husband is off the "if boys take dance lessons that makes them gay" ilk. Dance lessons would be wonderful for him. Excellent for his fitness and well as posture and self-confidence. Your husband is being ridiculous.

AlexanderHamilton · 25/09/2018 19:42

Rio Ferdinand trained in ballet.

LilQueenie · 25/09/2018 19:42

Ignore your DH. Let him dance.

Auntpetunia2015 · 25/09/2018 19:48

My da did ballroom absolutely loved it until about age 11. He’s a massive 6ft 3 bearded beer drinking student now. Dancing didn’t make him gay ! But being able to dance gets him attention from the ladies and as a uni student this is good, he remembers all the moves and twirls and turns them when dancing and they love it. It’s his party trick when trying impress !

Auntpetunia2015 · 25/09/2018 19:48

DS NOT DA! bloody phone

parkermoppy · 25/09/2018 19:50

is your husband being serious? most ridiculous thing i've ever heard

MrsJane · 25/09/2018 19:51

Aw bless him! Let him dance! Dancing is for boys too! What about strictly? What about diversity?! He’s being ridiculous. And mean!

Chrisinthemorning · 25/09/2018 19:52

DS is 6 and does dance at school. He enjoys it (and him going to dance means he doesn’t have to go to breakfast clubGrin)
The show they put on in June was amazing- looking forward to next year.

BirdintheWings · 25/09/2018 19:52

DS started dance at 14 (did it from scratch for GCSE) and wished he'd started it earlier. His physical fitness and confidence soared over those two years.

He also got all the best character parts, to the annoyance of some of the girls.

He did get slightly embarrassed admitting to it during army training, but they seemed to think it was a good thing.

SinkGirl · 25/09/2018 19:53

What’s your actual objection to ballet? What’s his?

There are many Male professional dancers, ballet and otherwise (and it’s a much less crowded industry for men than for women). There are other sports that benefit from early dance training. It’s great for co ordination, self expression, confidence...

What’s the downside? I’m genuinely curious what you think the problem is?

CherryPavlova · 25/09/2018 20:40

Ballet is the foundation of all other dance forms. I’d send him to ballet class. They don’t become effeminate or gay. They don’t start wearing pink or necessarily want careers as hairdressers. It doesn’t stunt their growth. It is good, hard physical exercise and gives excellent body awareness.

Young women like young men who can dance well.
I say this having had a son who danced for five years including ballet. He too watched his sisters and wanted to join in. He performed in two professional musicals for about six months each and was shortlisted for Billy School.
He still dances well but is more focussed on his rugby, playing for the armed forces under 23s. He chose to become a commissioned officer in the armed forces rather than go to university. He’s 6’4” and very muscular. His girlfriend is delighted he can jiggle his hips in time to the music and waltz with the best. We blame the ballet!

stripeswitheverything · 25/09/2018 20:43

Your DH is a twat.

checkingforballoons · 25/09/2018 20:46

What’s the reason for not letting him?!
My 4 year old DS goes to a dance class. It’s fun and active, I haven’t thought much beyond that. He did once come home from nursery and tell me that one of the boys had told him that ballet was for girls. I showed him some clips of male ballet dancers and that set him straight. Maybe try a similar tactic with your DH Wink

SparkyBlue · 25/09/2018 20:47

Myself and DH actually can't wait for DS to go dancing with his sister as he just loves dancing and his little hands nearly fell off him with the amount of waving and clapping he did when Strictly was on last week. Equally he will be joining rugby as well it's not one or the other. Hopefully he will enjoy doing both.