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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to consider ear pinning for my dd?

116 replies

Thingsthatgo · 25/09/2018 14:45

My Dd is three. Her ears stick out a lot, and also have a batwing look to them. At the moment her hair covers them (she has curly hair), but if we tie it back they are extremely prominent. The idea of her having surgery that is unnecessary is awful, but I really think that her ears are going to cause her a lot of grief when she is older. I wonder if it is worth doing it before she is very aware of the situation. Please let me know your experiences of ear pinning surgery.
How do I go about it? Gp first? I am not expecting the nhs to pay for it, but I would like advice from a gp.

OP posts:
IneedahugandIcanthaveone · 25/09/2018 14:48

I saw an ad online when I was on a medical site, I think, for some sticky tape that you stick the ears down with and eventually they improve. It was such a strange idea that I clicked on it to find out what it was about even though there are no sticky out ears in my family. Google and see what you can find.

Zintox · 25/09/2018 14:50

Yanbu op.

I had mine done aged 17. I wish they'd have done them when I was little but they did back then. They thought you had to finish growing.

I had years of bullying and being self conscious. Just go for it. She will thank you for it later.

ZigZagZebras · 25/09/2018 14:51

If there's a way like taping like the poster above mentioned then I'd do it, but if shes too old for that now I'd wait until shes older and see if she wants it doing rather than surgery at this age. If she has curly hair it may not be an issue for her, I have curly hair and always have it down so no one even sees my ears really!

Aquamarine1029 · 25/09/2018 14:51

I would absolutely have it done as the benefit to her appearance would be massive. The procedure is very simple, safe, and is done all the time.

GreenMeerkat · 25/09/2018 14:53

It seems extreme being surgery, but she is likely to have it done when she's older anyway, and this way you will save her any embarrassment she may have over them as she gets older. I think she would thank you for it x

MrsZippyLake · 25/09/2018 14:54

A relative had them done as a teenager and has never regretted it. Though it was very painful apparently.

easterholidays · 25/09/2018 14:56

Definitely start with the GP. They may be able to advise you on whether it's likely to correct itself without intervention - my DNiece had sticky-out ears when she was a toddler but they sort of straightened themselves out by the time she was about 5.

easterholidays · 25/09/2018 14:56

...and even if you do go ahead, GP can advise you on safe and sensible places to start.

moonlight1705 · 25/09/2018 14:56

I had mine done when I was 9 and it was the best thing ever - was a little sick with the anaesthetic but was back at school pretty quickly.

Really glad my DM decided that I should get them done.

CruCru · 25/09/2018 14:58

Yes, get it done. It’s no bigger a deal than having braces (I know quite a few people who had to have some teeth out for their braces).

florenceheadache · 25/09/2018 14:59

The sooner the better, start with a gp referral. Don’t bother with tape (smelly, tacky residue, hair stuck).

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 25/09/2018 15:03

I waited for DD to make the decision for herself, didn't bring it up until she did as an an early teenager so we went with her wishes.

LalaLeona · 25/09/2018 15:05

She will probably grow into them op, 3 is very young to be considering surgery! .my sd had very prominent ears as a child and they are perfectly normal looking now she is an adult she just seemed to grow into them by the time she hit her teens.

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 25/09/2018 15:06

She never mentioned the pain. Must have been brilliant painkillers where we lived at the time.

Rebecca36 · 25/09/2018 15:11

I know someone who taped their little one's ears and it worked!
Your daughter is too young for pinnaplasty but if the taping doesn't work, she can have it when she is older.

lakehouse · 25/09/2018 15:13

I had mine done when I was 8. When the NHS did it but they don't any more. Couple of days in hospital then back to school (although with a bandage round my head) Was a bit sore but the worst bit was getting stitches removed - sure they use dissolvable ones now! I'm so glad I had it done as a child.

SgtFredColon · 25/09/2018 15:14

My sisters both had it as adults and both wished it had been done when they were kids.

ItWentInMyEye · 25/09/2018 15:18

One of my closest friends at primary school had hers done at about 8 and loved the results. It gave her so much more confidence in herself.

Mumminmum · 25/09/2018 15:18

A study showed that pinning the ears with tape can work as long as the child is under 8 years old, so go for it.

TallulahBetty · 25/09/2018 15:19

BIL had his done at 12. 20 years ago. He had no regrets

Lellochip · 25/09/2018 15:22

OP look at earfold.co.uk - might be an easier option than usual surgery? I know nothing about it other than stumbling across it once and thinking it looked good so can't give more info than that, but just thought if there's a simpler surgical solution you could wait and see if it bothers her, without the pressure of sorting it before she's aware?

schnubbins · 25/09/2018 15:24

No , if she had crooked or prominent teeth you would get them fixed also. I was a paediatric nurse and we often had children coming in for this procedure.Once we has four siblings come together to have it done.I will never forget their little faces post op. when the bandages came off.You may have to wait a little while until she is older but its worth looking into now.

Original poster
Thingsthatgo · 25/09/2018 15:25

Thanks for all of your advice and opinions. I know 3 is very young to start thinking about it, I guess it’s on my mind because she starts school next year, and it occurred to me that I should consider doing something about it before it even becomes a problem. My ears stick out, and it doesn’t bother me much, but hers are at such an angle that I think it’ll be an issue.

OP posts:
Spaghettijumper · 25/09/2018 15:27

There's no way I'd be allowing my child to go under general anaesthetic unless she absolutely had to - no way on earth I'd do it for something as innocuous as sticky out ears. GA is pretty safe but it's still a fact that every year a number of people are put under and never come out of it. That's not a risk I'd be taking when you could just accept that she's not 100% perfect and support her in going through a world where some people are arseholes knowing that she doesn't have to have surgery to make herself more acceptable.

Sirzy · 25/09/2018 15:27

I had mine pinned back at 10, I don’t for a second regret it but it was my decision to have it done, I was able to understand the after care needed, the process itself and the fact it would be painful (and it was)

Personally I wouldn’t put a child through an operation for purely cosmetic reasons at such a young age. I think such things they need to be able to understand it and want it themselves.