Aibu to consider ear pinning for my dd?

[Thingsthatgo]

My Dd is three. Her ears stick out a lot, and also have a batwing look to them. At the moment her hair covers them (she has curly hair), but if we tie it back they are extremely prominent. The idea of her having surgery that is unnecessary is awful, but I really think that her ears are going to cause her a lot of grief when she is older. I wonder if it is worth doing it before she is very aware of the situation. Please let me know your experiences of ear pinning surgery.
How do I go about it? Gp first? I am not expecting the nhs to pay for it, but I would like advice from a gp.

Taping only works under the age of 18-24 months after that it is pointless. I would go and speak to your gp and go from there.

But what if sticky outy ears become the height of fashion? After slug brows and tooth gaps I wouldn't be surprised.

We used the ear buddies tape system in our baby and were very pleased with the results. They recommend starting much earlier than 3 but have apparently had success at age 4. I suspect, however, the taping process would be quite prolonged with older children.

www.earbuddies.co.uk/pages/faqs

Surgery can be done later, although probably only very rarely on the NHS.

I'd wait for her to be a little bit older and talk to her about it if comments from other kids start.
My little brother's ears were always worse than mine and he wanted it done when he was about 6 or 7 on their medical insurance at the time.
I decided I didn't, then regretted that in high school when parents couldn't afford it. Paid for it to be done privately myself when I was about 22 and am so, so, so pleased I did.
So I'd wait until she can express her own thoughts about it, then find a private surgeon as mine are much better done than my brothers and it didn't cost the earth.

A friend of mine had it done when we were early teens. Did an A amazing job and she was much happier. Bit she was old enough and asked for it. Wait few years and see how she feels x

SD had her’s pinned back just before her 5th birthday... she’s 13 now and looking back at pics it was sooooo worth it.
Unfortunately her mum was too lazy to follow the aftercare routine properly (didn’t change dressings or insist on her wearing the post-sugery headband) which led to one ear “popping” back forwards slightly but they’re still 100x better than before.

Bugs Bunny and Radar here. Yes, honestly. YABU.

I don't know why, but I'm half-expecting this thread to go pffft, partly because so many of these seem to, like the recent 'less pretty' DD and the school jumper threads.

Iots for me to think about, thank you all. I had my teeth fixed with braces as a teenager, and I’m glad that I did (purely cosmetic reasons and I needed a ga for tooth extraction). I kinda think of ear pinning along the same lines, but I do understand the point of view that it’s more about confidence than looks. Her ears (if she doesn’t grow into them), are outside of the norms of ‘sticky out ears’, so maybe it’s less about cosmetic surgery and more corrective surgery, in the same way someone might remove an extra digit or similar.

My daughter (9) finds hats and helmets really uncomfortable due to her ears.

She has poker straight hair, one deformed ear and both very very prominent.

She has not asked to do anything yet but we will when she asks. My mother had the same problem and ha hers done at 65 after years of feeling self conscious. She is definitely in the pro camp.

Never had mine done but wished my parents had done it when I was little, my right ear is normal but due to how I laid as a baby, my left one sticks out, bleh!

You don't have to have DH there if you don't want to. Maybe worth reminding him of that?
This is a medical procedure, a particularly intimate, frightening and emotional one, the experience of which will remain with you forever. Don't let it be hijacked by over excited relatives. I'm sure they mean well, but a couple of hours won't make any difference to their relationship with your baby.
All the best 😘

I would do it op! I got bullied for something surgery could have fixed when I was little, it was awful x

I think Oobis is talking about another body part altogether from another thread

I would wait until she’s older but try tape if non-invasive
Mine stick out terribly and I hate them and am now considering surgery for myself - I’d be interested to know how long it takes and what the cost and recovery is like - sorry to hijack

My cousin had hers pinned back aged 3 in 1975. Hers were particularly severe, so I'm sure it was the right thing for her parents to do. She coped very well with the surgery. I think YANBU

Put ear defenders on while she sleeps (while you're awake) take them off before you go to bed. We discovered this method by accident

DD1 now 48 had hers done 40 years ago, so she was 8. When she looks at photos of herself before the op she always says she's so glad she had them done before she went to high school. It's not painful though the ears are tender to touch for a few days after and patients feel a bit nauseous after the op and anaesthetic.

I've had sticky out ears my whole life. My mum used to tell me I was perfect just as I was, and that i didn't need to change myself for anyone. It took me a while, but do you know what? She was exactly right.

And now when my dcs tell me they don't like the dark hair on their arms/ gap between their teeth/ freckles / whatever, I hug them and tell them the same thing - they're perfect just as they are. Where do you draw the line? Braces are different because without them you can lose the ability to speak clearly and eat properly. Dentists don't give you much of a choice, they just make the referral for this reason.

I know you’re doing it for her but it breaks my heart to think of you sitting in the Docs with her listening, telling him that there’s something wrong with her ears because it’s something she innocently won’t have even considered yet ☹️
If you’re going private could you go without her to first appointment to explain and then just act as though it’s a sort of routine procedure to her? “Oh you need to have an operation on your ears to make it easier for you to hear or some other excuse” - that sounds awful just writing it down but I’d rather lie than let her hear that it’s because she doesn’t look right. It’s breaking my heart just thinking about it!
I don’t know what I’d do because it’s heart breaking the idea they’ll be teased but equally sad to fix it.
I think I’d just open up dialogue a lot about how everyone’s different. Maybe pointing out funny things in myself and try to be open about things I’ve been teased about and how it made me feel but how ultimately it’s not the end of the world and that we can laugh at ourselves. The worst thing would be that she’s teased but feels too ashamed to tell you. If you can get her to come to you about things like this then you could offer it as soon as she brings it up? Good luck x

And for the record, my ds has inherited my ears and they look absolutely gorgeous on him - nobody has ever made any negative comments - they suit his face and his features.

The 3 most attractive boys in my Sons class all have sticky out ears. They all suit them!

Attractive sounds weird. They’re 7. I meant the most handsome faces.

I had mine done age ten and wouldn't hesitate to have my daughter's done

Not everything that others think is 'wrong' with you, or you think is 'wrong' with you, or your DC thinks is 'wrong' with themselves, or you think is 'wrong' with your DC, can be fixed with an operation, brace or whatever. What do you do then?

I wonder if the previous posters on here have ever been bullied for looking different than their peer group? I had a severe overbite and got bullied over it affected my self esteem greatly and then at 15 I received braces and at 17 I got them removed and literally that night I never felt self conscious about my teeth again-in fact always got compliments on my smile after. I just saw a little boy at a restaurant and his ears were so prominent I immediately felt sure he would be bullied in the future. You aren’t wrong for trying to protect your child.