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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think something is wrong with me?

94 replies

stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:17

I'm sorry this might be long ..Thankyou if you read.
I've suffered with Pvcs (feel like skipped heartbeats but are extra beats ) since 2012.
Doctor said stress/anxiety.
I'm having a rough time since June with them (with good spells in between)
I've had every test imaginable and luckily my heart is healthy and nothing sinister is causing them.
I'm 32 and I look after my nan full time.
I have my dad and that's it for family.
My mum died of cancer when I was 13 and I've never got over it and never will.
I cry for her every day.
For a while now I've felt awful,i feel so sad,but a different type of sad,I've got nothing to make me happy.
I feel pointless like my life is disgusting,I have no boyfriend or children,I have to watch all my friends with children and a family and I'm here with nothing because obviously that's what I deserve.
My whole is looking after my nan and I feel so angry all the time now,my blood pressure feels sky high.
I have these Pvcs but they are okay till I leave the house and as soon as I'm outside they begin.
Today they were every few seconds whilst I was in town and then I got home and within seconds they stopped.
I always feel really hot and I get upset stomachs and headaches.
I feel a tight feeling round my throat a lot.
When I leave my nans I get home and think I've left the cooker on so have to rush back and check that all the plugs are off.
Or I will think I've left the door open and she will get out and fall down the stairs and die and it's my fault.
These Pvcs are ruining my life.
I've had blood tests,heart scans ,ecgs,Holter monitors etc and I'm perfectly healthy apparently.
Smear test was fine,swabs were fine,mri scan fine.
Last week things were awful and I ended up scratching all my face because ...well I don't know why.
I'm googling things it might be and I've found a few things but I know the doctors will say anxiety blah blah.
I was getting ready today and I was crying putting my make up on...I felt so low,I knew when I left home the skipped beats would start and they did.

OP posts:
imamouseduh · 25/09/2018 12:22

You need to seek the help of a mental health professional. It's not the PVCS ruining your life, it's your mental health.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:23

I'm on the waiting list to see someone.
It's 5 months list so probably be after Christmas now.

OP posts:
seventhgonickname · 25/09/2018 12:27

I agree,go to your GPs and tell him how you really feel,your other symptoms are just that,symptoms of the underlying problem.
If you don't go this will continue to get worse.

MTBMummy · 25/09/2018 12:27

Didn't want to read and not post something. It sounds like you're having a really hard time.

I think if you can separate the issues they may be easier to deal with.

I suffer from psvt - different but similar you pvcs, I also get the extra heart beat thing. Mine is mainly triggered by stress, lack of sleep or too much caffeine. it's difficult to manage in modern society, you get stressed so you don't sleep well, so you drink coffee and bang there you go, it sometimes feels like a vicious circle.

Can you get help with your nan? Some formal respite care so that you can have a break? it really sounds like you're struggling and you shouldn't have to manage all this on your own.

Seniorschoolmum · 25/09/2018 12:29

You sound stressed and lonely and without much to look forward to. That would have much the same effect on me. We all deserve a lot more than that.
You need a life of your own and your dad needs to get some help caring for your nan.

Do you have a job or qualifications? Are you on carer’s Allowance? When do you go out with your friends?

HowlsMovingBungalow · 25/09/2018 12:30

I have the same condition. I also have health anxiety, you sound in a bit of a pickle with anxiety too. Sometimes skipped beats can be due to dehydration, try upping your water intake. Go back to your gp and explain that your anxiety has increased.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:31

Do you think it could be an illness? Maybe something they missed?
I had 5 weeks feeling ok and I was getting out and about then my nan fell and ended up in hospital and it all started again.
She's home now but refused any outside and help and they can't force her apparently.
I just want to stay in bed and just stay there.
I'm getting that horrible stomach nervous feeling as soon as I'm out of bed.

OP posts:
Agentornika · 25/09/2018 12:33

It all sounds anxiety related to me

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:33

I'm very lonely.
I've felt alone for years now tbh.
I have friends but they have families and children.
I do have gcse/a levels but at the minute I can't work as she needs full time care.
I go out with friends twice a month but not when I'm feeling like this.
I've started panicking incase my Pvcs start when I'm out so I like to go places I can get out of quick.

OP posts:
BerkInBag · 25/09/2018 12:34

Definitely go back to the GP. Have they offered you any counselling or talking therapy. I think you might need something of that order. You certainly sound like you could do with some time for yourself and some activities that allow you to take a break, relax and socialise.

Also, and this is unlikely as it sounds like you have had lots of tests, have they tested your thyroid function? I had a terrible spell of anxiety and extra heartbeats that went away when I was treated for an overactive thyroid. Just thought it was worth mentioning in case not already covered.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:34

My gp just gave me anti depressants and his line was "you don't work,what do you have to be sad about"
That made me feel worse

OP posts:
HowlsMovingBungalow · 25/09/2018 12:35

Sounds like you've had all the correct tests for your hearts health - you had a clean bill of health. Your nan's fall triggered off stress and panic for you. Anxiety cycle then, you panic, your heart skips, then you panic.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:35

Yeah they've tested my thyroid plus potassium and magnesium and all normal.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:36

I also feel sick too.

OP posts:
BerkInBag · 25/09/2018 12:36

Your Nan may not want outside help but she should be able to appreciate the impact her care is having on your health and social life. Could you talk her about that and see if she understands?

Perhaps there is a Carer's Group attached to your local authority or one you could access via your GP - they might be able to give you some moral support if not practical.

BerkInBag · 25/09/2018 12:39

That is a terrible response from your GP. You are a Carer for your Nan. That can be stressful and isolating. The GP should know that. My MIL is retired now but cares round the clock for FIL, she gets some great support through her GP practice and local carers group. I think you need to see a different GP.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:41

I don't think the gp takes me serious because I always go in with my makeup done and dressed decent.
That doesn't make me any less like this but making myself look decent keeps me going (if that makes sense )

OP posts:
BerkInBag · 25/09/2018 12:42

www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/health/looking-after-your-health/your-gp

Have you seen this info from Carers UK. As a Carer your Primary Healthcare team (GP, Practice Nurse, District Nurse etc) should be aware of your situation and able to support you with your own health needs, including mental health needs.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:43

I honestly think my mum dying ruined me,I think loosing my mum was the catalyst and as I was an only child we were so close.
I sit and look at her pics every day.
I walk around on my own looking at daughters with mums and it's the worst feeling.
I try and tell my dad I'm struggling but he looses his temper and says I'm ruining his life and I'm going to give him high blood pressure and he will have a stroke because of me.
Then I get anxious that I'm making him ill

OP posts:
Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:44

Thankyou for that link il take a look now.

OP posts:
BerkInBag · 25/09/2018 12:48

The GP should be able to see past external appearance and should hear what you are saying. Have you said all the things to your GP that you've written in your opening post? This:

*When I leave my nans I get home and think I've left the cooker on so have to rush back and check that all the plugs are off.

Or I will think I've left the door open and she will get out and fall down the stairs and die and it's my fault.*

This sounds like anxiety induced intrusive thoughts. Those words should raise a little red flag to a good healthcare provider. As should these words:

Last week things were awful and I ended up scratching all my face

Please, go back to your surgery and ask to see a different GP and tell them everything you've said here. Be honest and ask for help. It really sounds like you need it and deserve it.

Womaningreen · 25/09/2018 12:48

Has the medication helped at all?

MrsPatmore · 25/09/2018 12:49

How about contacting a bereavement service? The waiting list should be quicker and perhaps sharing your anxiety with someone will help to lessen the load.

Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:51

I haven't taken the medication.
He gave me sertraline(not sure I've you've heard of it ) but I don't want to take medication.
The side affects scare me and I really want to get to the bottom of my symptoms without medication.

OP posts:
Original poster
stillscottishwater · 25/09/2018 12:51

I feel like I fraud going to a bereavement service..it's been 18-19 years since I lost her.
I should be ok by now.

OP posts:
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