Step-baby

[LateLatte]

How long should a step-baby wait to meet its new baby sibling? Assuming baby and Mother are well and hospital/babies home is within 30 minutes of where the older sibling lives and can be dropped off by another family member?

[Johndoe10]

Oh here we go again...

[GunpowderGelatine]

Oh hi John hun, been sneering at anyone's traumatic experiences lately? I know someone who had a heart attack the other day if you need help thinking of a joke?

I find it amusing when rancid people only compliment the ones who agree with them.

[Johndoe10]

Jesus gun you need help!

[GunpowderGelatine]

Right-o. YOU laughed at me when I said I nearly died, but Im the one who needs help. Have you ever thought about getting a diagnosis for a personality disorder? You've bullied your way through this thread, you see nothing wrong with the truly awful thing you said to me (I can remind you f you like), you have lied (and forgot that you lied - and you can't see what you've done wrong. Seriously, you need help my dear

[Johndoe10]

I’m replying to Latelatte thread . You two are hauranging anybody that has offered OP and have taken over the thread to push your own bitter experiences.

It’s weird.

[Johndoe10]

Offers op any sympathy

[Johndoe10]

Gun seriously I’m not reading or replying to any more of your essays .

[flamingofridays]

My own bitter experiences?

Sorry what are they then?

[GunpowderGelatine]

John do me a favour - 90% of your posts have been goody to other people or down right disgusting.

You still haven't answered me when I asked if you thought what you said to me was acceptable?

I'll remind you - I said I nearly died in childbirth, I told you that I could barely sit up, needed dozens of stitches, 2 transfusions, needed physio for a year, and suffered badly with PND as a result. You said "God and I bet you remind people of that every day ".
And you have the bare faced cheek - or is it delusion? - to say that WE are haranguing people. I don't know whether to pity you for you obvious delusion or just draw the conclusion that you're an odious person.

[GunpowderGelatine]

My own bitter experiences?

I think it's talking about me and my 'bitterness' about my daughters birth. But it's a bit thick really isn't it - I'm not bitter, there's nothing to be bitter about, these things happen and it's no one's fault. But I get fucked off at being sneered over it, and no I won't let it go because it's barely acknowledged what it said, it hasn't apologised or realise the hurt it caused.

[PrincessScarlett]

Hi OP, OK that's pretty shitty if paternal GPs (and obviously your DS's GPs) are passing your door to visit new baby and didn't think to offer your DS a lift.

I presumed maternal GPs as I wouldn't have put my in-laws before my own parents and stepson if I had one.

Your ex sounds like a bit of an arse not thinking of his son visiting before his parents and aunt, or at least visit at the same time.

[flamingofridays]

gelatine you have every right to be fucked off!

[Johndoe10]

What are you getting out of this thread flamingo honestly? Your not here to support op, so why are you here still derailing the thread. I don’t understand when people get stuck on threads trying to attack the op who is just looking for support. I get it. I get what your trying to say. So why don’t you just try and support the op, or move on and start your own thread.

[GunpowderGelatine]

It's not a requirement to support the OP in threads. Kinda the whole point of AIBU.

Also, it's "you're"

You're welcome

[flamingofridays]

Its AIBU not a "i need support" thread. Ive got as much right to post on here as you.

I am not "attacking" op, or infact anyone. However thats exactly what you've done throughout, isnt it?

[Johndoe10]

Gun you got me, I’ll hold my hands up, I probably shouldn’t have used this face

I should probably have used 🙄 . Because you’ve been going on about your experience for two days now when it’s not even your thread. It’s about s boy who had been let down by his dad

I had a bad birth but I don’t repeatedly using it to get my own way on a thread. I thought it was distasteful and manipulative. Your posts to me I find are hysterical and neurotic and they wear me out.

So really I won’t reply any more.

[lborgia]

OP, to paraphrase, you have an exdh problem, not a new mum problem.

But you obviously already know that. All YOU can do is make light of the 5 days, concentrate on how much your DS has in your own blended family, and when the moment arises, remind exdh what a twat he's been, and that unless he had his arms broken during the labour, he should've stayed in daily contact with his son during this time.

I truly understand wanting a few hours to yourself/ feeling odd about the step son/ the possibility that his SM might not have considered him important enough... whatever the circumstances, it is his father's job to smooth the path.

I'm gong to make a massive assumption here that he is a twat generally.

[flamingofridays]

john

She was sharing her experience like many other people on this thread. Not to get her own way but to help explain her point. It was neither distasteful nor manipulative and actually i find it disgusting that you would even suggest that.

Calling someone "neurotic" is really insensitive soon when theyre talking about a major life changing event.

[ClaraMumsnet]

Hello all, just a reminder that personal attacks are against our Talk Guidelines. We can see this thread has become quite heated, so please do bear our guidelines in mind when posting, as we'd hate to have to remove the thread.

[NoMudNoLotus]

Im probably with you @LateLatte .

When i had our DD who was premature, i was tube feeding, recovering from pre-eclampsia and still encouraged my DH to leave me to drive 3 hours to collect his 10 year old DS to come and meet baby.

Yes it was very hard for me that day, but im a firm believer that children come first.

[GunpowderGelatine]

I should probably have used 🙄 . Because you’ve been going on about your experience for two days now when it’s not even your thread. It’s about s boy who had been let down by his dad

The thread is also about a postnatal woman's right to privacy. It's not a love in to feel sorry for the OP, and many of us didn't see it as a little boy being let down by his dad. People are allowed to disagree with the OP and delve into related topics.

I had a bad birth but I don’t repeatedly using it to get my own way on a thread. I thought it was distasteful and manipulative. Your posts to me I find are hysterical and neurotic and they wear me out.

ODFOD, I wasn't being manipulative, I was explaining why someone might not be up to visitors postnatally. I find your posts not only untruthful but completely nasty, still not admitting that what you said was totally vile? You need to grow up. And I don't believe you had a bad birth, you wouldn't say what you said if you had

[GunpowderGelatine]

And stop gaslighting people too

[GunpowderGelatine]

I think regarding the OP's situation, whether the SM has a sneeze birth or whether she had the birth from Hell, iborgia hit the nail on the head:

whatever the circumstances, it is his father's job to smooth the path.

People can be forgiven for believing that, based on the OP, too much angst was directed towards the SM and it seemed like there was an issue there, when really it IS down to his dad. Who - as a non-patient who hasn't been the one to give birth - should have taken less than a day to text his son to tell him he's a big brother

[moredoll]

really it IS down to his dad. Who - as a non-patient who hasn't been the one to give birth - should have taken less than a day to text his son to tell him he's a big brother

Yep.