Primary school toilets look like this

[SwordToFlamethrower]

My daughter is 9. God forbid she is one of the girls who start their period young. Not sure how girls age 9 to 11 at primary school are meant to manage their first ever periods with no privacy or dignity when they have to wash their blood soaked hands. The toilet area is open plan too, so anyone walking by can see right in. I took these photos on my way to a "meet the teacher" meeting today. I don't know if the school have checked the law on single sex toilets when they implemented this. I don't even know where to begin. I've been asked to leave it because it's not worth having a row with the school, seeing as they're underfunded as it is. AIBU to say "tough!" What should I do?

Or they could just build them properly to start with In our borough most of the schools were built over 70 years ago.

I don't understand why they've gone to the trouble of installing individual cubicles like that without adding hand washing facilities to them. Completely nonsensical! And for all those sneering at women and young girls unfortunate enough to have extremely heavy periods, shame on you. Wet wipes are not the miracle answer when a wet wipe ban is looking more and more likely in the future! If that happens, then what? Young girls experiencing heavy/messy periods are simply to wash bloodied hands and fingernails at shared sinks with boys potentially huddled around them? That won't be extremely embarrassing for pre-teens/teenagers at all, will it? If your period experiences are a breeze every month, congratulations on being part of the luck lottery. For others, menstruation can be absolutely horrendous. I was blissfully ignorant to how heavy and messy periods could be for some until my hyper sensitive 11yo DD started hers over the summer. Jesus Christ. I just thank fuck she was at home with me when it happened and not alone in some bullshit unisex school toilets, needing to clean herself up at shared sinks! The thought of it fills me with genuine dread. We'd spoken about periods at length, but she wasn't at all prepared for the reality of HER periods, which are heavy, long lasting and nothing short of a grim burden for her to deal with and clean up after every month. Want unisex toilets? Fine. Hand washing facilities need to go INSIDE secure floor to ceiling cubicles though.

@tammyswansontwo I totally agree with everything you’re saying. It actually makes me feel sick that other women can be so dismissive. I am a grown woman that is well aware of my horrifically heavy periods and travel with spare pants, wipes, tampons, towels etc but yet I still often have to clean toilet seats, the floor, tuck my clothes into my bra to avoid soaking them too. To think, all this time I just had to ask one doctor once, to solve this issue for me - hilarious.

I am pro either single sex facilities or single self contained cubicles, but I do agree with BrownPaperTeddy’s interpretation at 22:53. (I think!)

The act separately specifies toilet and washing facilities and then notes that the toilet facilities must be sex segregated, or in a room. It doesn’t make any further mention of washing facilities or whether they must be sex segregated .

To summarise - if only it were just my hands that got blood soaked! Poor kids, if grown women are this dismissive. I genuinely hope you don’t all get a shock, should your periods surprise you in peri-menopause.

I would have died a thousand deaths if a boy was in our school toilets while I was trying to change my pad I would have too. It’s not about being able to be seen, it’s about everything. Not every child is totally chill about the changes in their body - and not every other child won’t take the utter piss if they hear a pad being ripped into or see a spot of blood on a school skirt. I started in year 6 and had to sit out of PE and use the teachers toilets for the best part of six weeks. It was mortifying. Everyone knew, I was embarrassed. I don’t think children should be sharing toilets past infant school, and having read an article about a primary girl being raped by a primary boy, maybe not even then.

I don't understand why they've gone to the trouble of installing individual cubicles like that without adding hand washing facilities to them. Presumably because of the cost involved - certainly running new plumbing for the sinks, possibly making cubicles larger and so losing a cubicle, more sinks than they currently have and they might have taken down a partition wall between old girls and boys toilets to make 1 new room meaning that they are using the pre existing sinks from the old toilets? Honestly schools budgets are on their knees. There is just no money for big refurbs when even the day to day costs of providing an education are barely met. The schools have to cover the widest number of needs for the least possible money.

An issue for me in all this which no one else has mentioned so far - the smell. I know they are individual units within but men's loos always stink. I remember at school the stench coming out of the boys toilets used to make you gag as you walked past. The poor girls being subjected to THAT smell.

And as an aside as a mum of girls with a bleeding disorder yes I'd like them to have a bit more privacy to sort themselves out and sometimes girls just need a moment you know? Think of all the crying and gossip you've shared in toilets over the years, I feel sorry we're taking that away. How have we reached a point where even going to the toilet is bloody complicated/cause for debate. FFS. Off to rant to oneself now.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3374319-9-out-of-10-girls-fear-period-shaming-at-school funnily enough there's another thread here . Set ups like this don't help

Think of all the crying and gossip you've shared in toilets over the years, I feel sorry we're taking that away. How have we reached a point where even going to the toilet is bloody complicated/cause for debate. FFS. Off to rant to oneself now. and all the bullying that you've seen and been subjected to? The number of times you've not gone to the toilet because you are too scared of the other students that are in there?

Yeah, I think the gossiping is exactly one of the things this design of toilet is supposed to remove.

I've never had blood soaked hands! This looks totally suitable.

Toilets being shared wont stop bullying though Brown, girls will just have even more reasons to be scared/apprehensive/reluctant to use them.

Oh FUCK OFF with all the “I’ve never had blood stained hands”. Just FUCK OFF. multiple women on here have detailed how they in fact have exactly that. If you cant be bothered to read what theyve said then why should anyone bother your read your self absorbed drivel?

Why should any girls who’ve started menstruating have to use the staff toilets rather than, oh I don’t know, the girls toilets?! Girls toilets in schools don’t have sanitary bins a lot of the time - it would be great if they did, but they don’t. For a couple of reasons I suspect - cost, and the fact that toilets are quite often used by 7-11 year olds (KS2), and 7 year olds aren’t always as sensible or sensitive as 11 year olds. And children over 8 don’t have to have separate washing facilities, for the however many times we’re up to now - they have to have separate toilet facilities, and they do.

Cardiganandcuppa Whoa - why the aggression? I agree that there’s no need to dismiss people’s experiences and to listen to all viewpoints, but ‘self absorbed drivel’? Doesn’t help your argument.

Toilets being shared wont stop bullying though Brown, It won't stop bullying know but it eliminates one of the easiest places ie one where staff don't go. The remaining places around school are visible to staff walking around and it reduces opportunity which is probably the best that anyone can ask. The school that my children attended conducted surveys via the student council and the biggest complaint was the toilets - bullying, vandalism, graffitti - the girls actually requested open plan toilets, as seen in a newly built school in the area, but sadly the budget didn't stretch that far. There is no perfect solution that will cover every need but I think they are trying. There are architect companies that specialise in this.

Our school and I imagine most schools have an accessible toilet. Children who want to use it for whatever reason can. I know of one of my kids friends who still has toilet accidents in year 6 who uses it to change privately.

That toilet is fantastic. Does it exist? Think I might get one.

Until I clicked on the picture I didn't know what was so special about it. But now I see it, I think it's marvellous! Why aren't all toilets like this?! (Rhetorical, I know why)

@BrownPaperTeddy I never avoided the toilet and at my school it wasn't a bully place though plenty of other areas were. However the thoughts of boys being in there when you needed a poo would have turned me into Shitbreak from American Pie.

The reason the handful of girls who had periods in primary school used some of the female teachers toilets was because if the saloon style doors in the normal toilets and for Sanpro bins as these girls use pads and my DD had to put them in a happy sack and carry them home until they sorted this out.It was a small school, didn't affect many girls and the female teachers were supportive at a difficult time.

@Spanglylycra. I guess it's hard because we've all had different experiences - so I can see how this set up would work and I also much prefer floor to ceiling walls and doors but I can see how for others the separate sex toilets would be far more important. It definitely is a common set up in secondary schools in this area although some have kept single sex toilets but replaced the solid wall with a glass wall so no one can hear anything but the sinks are still visible. Again it's the structure of the building that dictates what they can do. Are any schools talked about here new build? Most of the schools that I know are old buildings so there is a limit to what can be done.

Rockhopper I honestly could not care less about your approval or otherwise of my argument but here’s the answer to your question: because saying it nicely and politely hasn't worked. So as long as women feel free to keep mocking other women’s experience on here I will feel quite free to say what I want even if it negates my argument in your eyes.