9 out of 10 girls fear period shaming at school

[CAAKE]

But "gender neutral" - mixed sex - toilets in schools are a totally fabulous idea 🙄

https://www.tes.com/news/nine-ten-girls-fear-period-shaming?amp&twitterr_impression=true

[CAAKE]

"Twenty seven per cent of girls who miss school because of their menstrual cycle cite “embarrassment” over leaking, teasing by boys and being unable to go to the toilet during lessons as reasons for cutting classes"

[FlowerpotFairyHouse]

It's a fucking joke.

It really is.

[Ineedacupofteadesperately]

This alone is reason enough to insist on single sex toilets, otherwise girls miss out on education.

[HawkeyeInConfusion]

I'm surprised it is only 9 out of 10. I would have expected 10 out of 10 in mixed sex schools.

[scepticalwoman]

Women know that girls feel like this. It's men who don't - and look at who is pushing for mixed sex toilets!

[DuckingGoodPJs]

Women know that girls feel like this. It's men who don't

Yes. I remember those hellish days well. My first half of high school was in a mixed-sex school, the latter half at an all-girls' school. The difference was world's apart, as far as worrying about period accidents - no biggie at the all-girls' school.

Every single cycle, and sometimes in-between, was stressful at the mixed-sex school. Erratic cycles, heavy bleeding, and stuck in classes.

Teenaged girls need their own female-only toilets.

Or maybe sabotaging girls' education is part of the TRA agenda?

[redexpat]

I went to an all girls school so didnt know any of that. Shocking.

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

Worth noting that this survey was sponsored by Bodyform.

I'm not detracting from any of the very valid arguments that posters are making, just saying it is worth noting who sponsored the survey, and asking if they have any agenda to push at all...

[AverageWoman]

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger:

Just keep female and male toilet facilities etc. separate, that's all it takes. Also, women's representation shortlists.

And keep female and male undressing, showering and sleeping arrangements separated, for the protection of girls, young women and women. Keep them safe from the assessed risk of male violence.

[BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger]

AverageWoman - I wholeheartedly (sp?) agree with all of your points, Biology matters and we need sex segregated spaces - which I fear will have to be rebranded as 'Penis free zones' if self ID becomes the law.

I was merely pointing out that this wasn't a survey created in a vacuum.

[GoldenMcOldie]

At my DDs primary school they don't have sanitary bins in the stalls. They refuse to acknowledge that girls of 10 have periods and need to dispose of sanitary products in private.

Makes me very angry.

[DuckingGoodPJs]

I was merely pointing out that this wasn't a survey created in a vacuum.
So what is your acceptable number Bitter? Even if not 9 out of 10 girls, and a mere 4 out of 10 girls - surely that is still a big problem, as has been outlined and acknowledged here already?

I actually don't have any trouble believing a number like 9 out of 10.

[FlowerpotFairyHouse]

I don't see what Bodyform's agenda could be.

Their findings will hardly influence the number of sanitary products required.

Maybe their agenda is an interest in girls, women and their periods. Things a lot of people don't seem to give a shit about.

[ISaySteadyOn]

Quite, Flowerpot.

[ILuvBirdsEye]

GoldenMcOldie I would encourage someone to flush a few pads down the toilets. Or maybe leave a few soaked in beetroot juice in a strategic place.

If the school too faces the consequence and not just the girls, I am sure thngs will change.

Nothing wrong with a bit of civil disobedience.

[Charliethefeminist]

Even the ones which are sex segregated cubicles but mixed sex sinks are in my view very unpleasant for girls. I simply don't understand how anyone could think it's acceptable. Teenagers and teenage periods are unpredictable things and it's really easy to leak, flood, get blood in unexpected places, forget your pad or tampon, forget it's coming, think it's over when it isn't, need to wash out edges of skirts or shirts, get blood under your nails and so on. Walking out into whatbis essentially a public area to wash off blood in front of boys, that a very cruel thing to make a girl do. Very cruel.

[SnuggyBuggy]

My school had the rule about not going to the toilet in lessons so in the week or so leading up to my period I would wear San pro just in case. If bodyform wanted to sell more products they would encourage this if anything.

[CAAKE]

Bitter - so what is the Bodyform connection you're making, then?

I've just done a bit of an arbitrary search and the only thing I can see is this quite sensible and caring interview with a young transman who advocates for comprehensive education on the subject for both boys and girls.

www.bodyform.co.uk/our-world/

[LassWiADelicateAir]

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger

I get where you are coming from. I had a look at their web-site and the article about speaking to one's daughter. I thought it was dreadful. I don't have time to expandmy thoughts now but will do later.

[LassWiADelicateAir]

I don't see what Bodyform's agenda could be

Their findings will hardly influence the number of sanitary products required

Maybe their agenda is an interest in girls, women and their periods. Things a lot of people don't seem to give a shit about

I think Bodyform's agenda is to increase Bodyform's share of the market.

I am uncomfortable about the tone of the website. I've said this before but who exactly, certainly in the UK, Europe, US etc is perpetuating this idea of period shame?

The quotes below are from the article about how to talk to your daughter.

Finding ways to talk about it in an open and confident manner will make all the difference to her experience of menstruation. But how can you introduce the subject and get over the awkwardness that surrounds a young girl’s first period?

Myth, shame and embarrassment often mean periods go undiscussed in the family home

Personally any woman who is a mother has had periods, has had sex, has given birth- so the notion that talking to your own daughter about her periods should be this difficult is a nonsense. If it is, that isn't due to some unspecified patriarchal constraint but due to a grown- up woman failing to behave like a grown-up.

I think the tone of the Bodyform website , far from being helpful in breaking taboos is setting taboos up as if they are unavoidable but caring, sharing Bodyform can make them a tiny bit less awful.

It's at one with the "a man might hear the rustle of a sanitary towel wrapper" mindset- well so what if he does?

[CAAKE]

the notion that talking to your own daughter about her periods should be this difficult is a nonsense.

I'm not so sure Lass. My mother (2 kids, white, postgrad educated, middle class) was quite uncomfortable discussing sex and gyno stuff with me, she left it to me to read the books she bought and learn in school sex ed classes. I imagine that mothers from certain cultures where women are shunned and shamed are even more reluctant to discuss the gory details with their daughters.

[Potplant2]

personally any woman who is a mother has had periods, has had sex, has given birth- so the notion that talking to your own daughter about her periods should be this difficult is a nonsense. If it is, that isn't due to some unspecified patriarchal constraint but due to a grown- up woman failing to behave like a grown-up.

You’d think so, or hope so, wouldn’t you, Lass? My mother refused to tell me about periods until I begged her to. After mine started I told her and she just said “right then” and boxes of sanitary towels would appear hidden at the bottom of my wardrobe. I was left dealing with heavy and painful periods alone. From past discussions online I don’t think I’m the only one.

I certainly remember feeling deep shame as a teenager in a mixed school. I remember being absolutely mortified when a drink leaked in my bag and a (nice, female) teacher helped me clean it, when she opened a pocket in the bag and a ST fell out. I’d got the message that periods were something never to be spoken about or admitted to. I also recall coming on unexpectedly during an after school sports session in what must have been only my second or third period ever, so I’d have been 12, and desperately wanting to confide in the lovely PE teacher and ask for her help, but simply being too embarrassed to do so and using toilet paper instead.

My biggest fear was that boys in my class would find sanitary products in my bag, or I’d leak in class.

In an ideal world, yes, mothers and other authority figures are open and kind about periods and girls feel well supported and not shamed. In the world we actually have, periods are considered shameful and girls suffer for it.

[ATailofTwoKitties]

At my DDs primary school they don't have sanitary bins in the stalls. They refuse to acknowledge that girls of 10 have periods

Seriously, in 2018? That's shameful.

My father is 80. He was a primary school head, back in the dark ages. He insisted that his school install sanitary bins back then. And he's a complete dinosaur about most things feminine.

[NothingOnTellyAgain]

My mum didnt' talk to me about periods and she's a doctor!

Period "shaming" does not come from women.

It comes from religion, from squeamishness about women's natural biological functions and the idea that they should be kept "secret" from men for some reason.

This was just starting to change >>

Now we are told that it's exlcusionary to mention female natural biological functions in case it upsets certain penis people (ie same old story new shiny wrapper)

And that simultaneously girls must share their toilet facilities with boys when they are dealing with all this for the first time.

I remember waiting until the toilet was empty (as best I could tell) so that no-one woudl hear tell-tale "rustling" and this was in a girls toilet in a single sex school!

[Melamin]

My school was built in the early 1900s and I expect the toilets dated back to then. They were in the basement, accessed from outside (thought more hygienic then). There was a light in the middle, but there were only high windows on one side. The toilets on the other side had little opaque windows between them to let the light through . These were avoided for obvious reasons and the girls that hung around in the toilets smoking piled into them when a teacher came. That left about 6 toilets for about 200 girls.
There was an incinerator and a towel machine (which dispensed the old Dr Whites with loops and a couple of safety pins - no one had sanitary belts by then ) which was in full view of the smokers. If you wanted to use them discretely, you would have to get out of a lesson (although there would probably be someone skulking in the toilets trying to wag a lesson but they would be locked in the corner one with their feet on the lavatory seat )

It was grim, and that was without added boys.