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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school toilets look like this

329 replies

SwordToFlamethrower · 24/09/2018 21:27

My daughter is 9. God forbid she is one of the girls who start their period young. Not sure how girls age 9 to 11 at primary school are meant to manage their first ever periods with no privacy or dignity when they have to wash their blood soaked hands. The toilet area is open plan too, so anyone walking by can see right in. I took these photos on my way to a "meet the teacher" meeting today. I don't know if the school have checked the law on single sex toilets when they implemented this. I don't even know where to begin. I've been asked to leave it because it's not worth having a row with the school, seeing as they're underfunded as it is. AIBU to say "tough!" What should I do?

Primary school toilets look like this
Primary school toilets look like this
Primary school toilets look like this
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ilovechurros · 25/09/2018 15:45

@SwordToFlamethrower
You said:

‘The law is pretty clear on there being private washing facilities for children over the age of 9. It's it the attached picture along with the other two.’

This isn’t what it says. It’s saying that the TOILET facilities do not need to be segregated according to sex if they are lockable from the inside and intended for one person only. It does NOT say that washing facilities should be ‘private’ or single sex.

TheBlueDot · 25/09/2018 16:57

lh a blanket policy of not letting any year 6 go to the toilet wouldn’t have worked for me. I leaked when I first started and used to get terrible cramps. I’m sure my teacher knew it was period related but never said anything specifically about it to me - just that if I needed to use the toilet I could go quietly. I’m grateful he didn’t make a big deal out of it.

Do the girls in your class feel comfortable talking to you? Are you noticing if any of them seem embarrassed if they ask to go to the loo and you say no?

myphoneisgone · 25/09/2018 17:08

Why are people implying OP's point is irrelevant as if a child had a heavy period they would need medical treatment? They would still need to be using communal sinks with hands that may have blood on. And I have been in the situation to have blood on my hands and no, you can't just wipe it all of with toilet paper.

I also think it is nonsense to pretend it is ok as young girls who get periods can just use the adults loos. Because that isn't going to be stigmatising at all is it? As they try to slink off to it without anyone noticing. As PP said, they should have that privacy to start with in their own loos.

I think the sink should be in the toilet.

Also, I have spoken to a nurse who worked in a bowel clinic. SHe had a patient (15 years ago) whose place of work had created these style of mixed toilets. Her patient had become so chronically constipated as she could no longer relax enough to empty her bowels at work that she was having to have treatment to retrain her how to go to the toilet! Some women, really, really don't like having to perform 'personal' tasks within earshot of a male colleague/ student.

I do think toilets should be single sex.

londonrach · 25/09/2018 17:11

Is this a boast op as the toilets look lovely compared to others ive seen.

visitorthedog · 25/09/2018 17:42

Is this your daughter OP?

Oh yeah, all of us with heavy periods are characters straight out of a horror film.

Looneytune253 · 25/09/2018 17:57

This thread is verging on hysterical. Firstly, if a child starts their periods at such a young age I would imagine that a. They are too young to get embarrassed by it or b. If they are embarrassed they are likely to be just as embarrassed trying to get help in front of boys or girls. Secondly the cubicles are there you’re not peeing in front of anyone else and thirdly the hand basins are commonly separate from the cubicles. That is normal every day life. I hate all this hysteria about segregating girls and boys it’s not healthy. Boys are not the enemy. No more so than other girls anyway

MrsChollySawcutt · 25/09/2018 17:58

Totally agree Looney. Well said.

Elephantinacravat · 25/09/2018 18:03

I hate all this hysteria about segregating girls and boys it’s not healthy

So you don't believe in segregating by sex at all? You don't think people are entitled to dignity and privacy from the opposite sex? You would happily get changed in front of a bloke?

MrsChollySawcutt · 25/09/2018 18:06

This thread isn't about getting changed, that's totally irrelevant.

Elephantinacravat · 25/09/2018 18:08

This thread isn't about getting changed, that's totally irrelevant.

I was quoting the PP who said that the idea of segregating boys and girls is 'hysteria' because 'boys are not the enemy'. I was just wondering how far they take that idea?

Frogletmamma · 25/09/2018 18:11

Not a problem DD started at primary and they told her to use staff ladies toilet (with bins and privacy). Talk to the school!

Cachailleacha · 25/09/2018 18:13

I wouldn't have a problem with those toilets.

Full length doors and walls between the cubicles, it is only the sinks are not completely private. If you get blood on your hands you just wipe it off with toilet paper and then wash with soap and water the same as usual. No one is looking that closely at other people's hands.

AllTheChocolateMice · 25/09/2018 18:43

I started my periods at 9 and they have always been heavy. I didn’t want to wash blood soaked hands in front of anyone! I’d just wait until people had left which would have been much quicker with open plan wash facilities I’m sure

mostdays · 25/09/2018 18:51

I started my period at primary school. Everyone quickly found out because there was one single cubicle that had a sanitary bin in, and I was seen using that cubicle. The people making me feel dirty and weird and upset and a freak were girls, and it was easier for them to so do in toilets like we had than the ones shown upthread. I wish we'd had those kind of toilets, with nowhere for nasty bitches to congregate and bully others.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 25/09/2018 19:21

Can I ask a question? I don't let my year 6 go to the toilet during class. Should I change my policy because girls have their periods?

Our year 6 (and a few year 5) girls use the staff toilets as they have the necessary disposal bins and we have a supply of towels in there. The year six teacher is male and instead of asking to go to the toilet the girls say they need to “go to the ladies” this is a code agreed between the girls and him.

At my last school we had unisex staff toilets and four male members of staff.... never caused any issues...

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/09/2018 19:58

YABVU to take a picture on your phone in school of children's toilets and post it on the internet. Completely inappropriate. If a child did this they would be excluded. I think you should ask MN to have it removed.

The toilets themselves look perfectly normal for a school. Individual cubicles and lockable doors. Much better design than when I was at school and enclosed toilet rooms were a cesspit of bullying. Your DD school is lucky to have the money for new toilets.

AllTheChocolateMice · 25/09/2018 22:31

Why on earth would a child be excluded for taking a picture of the toilets with no one in them. That is ridiculous, what about all the stupid school toilet pictures I see on fb?

AllTheChocolateMice · 25/09/2018 22:32

Stupid school toilet selfies *

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 18:34

My DD's primary school toilets had shared hand washing facilities and the one that I currently work in does too, including year 6. We had one girl start her periods in year 6 last year and she had permission to use the toilet in the staff area,
Never had a blood soaked hand either!
I give my girls a little bag with their sanitary products in and a packet of wipes.
It was inappropriate to photograph the toilets imo.

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 18:35

You do know that boys and girls get changed for PE in the same room don't you? Or does that have you clutching your pearls?

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 18:38

At least they don't have to cope with scratchy greaseproof paper as loo roll like we did in the 70s and 80s!!!!!

cricketmum84 · 26/09/2018 18:42

And the 90s! Ugh medicated tracing paper!

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 18:44

Open plan makes it more difficult to bully or smoke or do anything else undesirable.

Everyoneiswingingit · 26/09/2018 18:46

I think shared sex toilets in primary is fine. I wouldn't like it in secondary school or in an office or public place and have never come across it anywhere.

RomanyRoots · 26/09/2018 18:47

mine started at 9 and had absolutely no problems at school.
I've no idea where you've got the blood soaked hands from, I'd be calling a doctor if this was happening.
Just get them to wrap them up in the next pads paper and put them in the bin or a bag to take home.
I bought some scented nappy sacks.

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