PA/Performance mum in Tesco made my toddler cry

[cranberryx]

I don't know if this is passive aggressive or just plain performance parenting, but I still think it's bloody rude!

I'm also on edge because it's my due date today and so far nada, so that's probably making me a bit more sensitive than usual.

I pop to Tesco with DS (2 years and 10 months old) to pick up some pull up nappy pants. He is fairly dry during the day but has issues with reminding me if he needs to go whilst wearing his big boy pants. He is still in nappies overnight.

Standing in the nappy aisle, being tired, heavily pregnant and DS is helping me get his nappies off the bottom shelf, when suddenly a woman with a toddler in her trolley makes this loud proclaimation.

Name added for added pretentiousness.

PA mum: "Oh, Tarquin Jnr, look at that boy! You don't need nappies anymore, do you? You're a big boy! Not like that boy! He's a big baby! Not like you Tarquin Jnr!"

She might have been talking to her blank faced toddler, who clearly didn't care or was used to her. But my DS got quite upset.

DS kept trying to tell me that he was a big boy, and he did tell me when he needed to go. He's a bit sensitive and there were some sniffles. I told him that I knew all that and told him how proud of him that I was when he used the potty.

I just can't help thinking about how bloody rude that woman was!

It was like... She had a surreal need to one-up a stranger in the nappy aisle at the expense of an innocent child who could clearly hear her.

I said nothing at the time and let her walk away because as I probably would have bashed her head open with my shopping basket, and I didn't want DS to see that.

Not much of an AIBU, but if anyone has any tips about potty training a toddler that forgets he's not wearing a nappy when he is wearing big boy pants, they would be very welcome.

I'll now pour my imaginary glass of wine as I imagine stealing the baguette from that woman's trolley and stuffing it down her performance parenting throat.

God. I have anger issues today.

Well done for not ripping her head off!! Your little boy sounds like a dote!!! I love him he's a little pet.

Any decent talent about last night?

Are you sure ‘Tarquin’ wasn’t older gab your son but small and was asking for nappies because that boy is getting some and the mum was saying ‘but he’s just a baby?’
I could just about believe that but a grown adult saying ‘look at that 2 yr old he’s a big baby’ and laughing sounds absolutely unbelievable tbh. And you said nothing after sh insulted your son and made him cry????

Feel sorry for her kid if that's the example she's setting

What is it about Tesco that brings out all the CF Mums. Years ago a woman I vaguely knew stopped to say hello. My DD was sitting in the trolly and had a dummy in her mouth(she never usually had it during the day, she was teething badly this day)...Tesco mum recoiled in horror and said oh my god, how can you let her have thing, it looks terrible? I looked at her DD and couldn't even see her face for all the snot covering her entire face so just stood dumbfounded.

Frankly, I’m at the restraint you showed in not beating her to death with a bumper packet of Pampers. What a horrid cow.

Are you sure ‘Tarquin’ wasn’t older gab your son but small and was asking for nappies because that boy is getting some and the mum was saying ‘but he’s just a baby?’
I could just about believe that but a grown adult saying ‘look at that 2 yr old he’s a big baby’ and laughing sounds absolutely unbelievable tbh. And you said nothing after sh insulted your son and made him cry????

This.

I hate all this big girl , big boy pants thing , i have a sevetly autitic 8 yr old i m just toilet training him now hes still a big boy

Some people love to be passive aggressive, its in their nature. Those people have to have such hideous lives, either boring or crappy, that they feel the need to try to upset others. That poor toddler.

@captaincorrigan @porkflute

Did you actually read my OP, at all?
Or the thread?

DS got upset almost immediately. Lady is walking off down the aisle and I have a toddler who needs reassuring that he's not a baby for still needing nappies at night.

Maybe I should have just ignored him and pulled her back by her hair?

PA lady's DS though small was silent the entire time. Off in his own world. There was no asking for nappies. Her DS did not make a peep. Just us in the aisle so we would have heard.

Strange post, Lyinglow
Unless you know the child in question?

Parents of toddlers need to understand that they can’t possibly judge yet whether their parenting has been a success so their judgement of others needs keeping to themselves.

YouOkHun has it. Parenting is a very long race, and one which is not won by getting your toddler out of nappies before the rest of their peers.

Let's hope Tarquin hasn't dropped out of school at 16 to deal drugs. Then she'll realise that potty training age was of zero significance.

OP, she competed with a less than three year old. She sneered at a toddler's ability to accurately control his bladder. That tells you all you need to know.

More or less potty trained at under three is great! Give your big boy lots of hugs and remind him he is doing a great job.

Good luck with baby number two.

Oh come on, really.

So an adult said ‘look at that boy he’s a big baby’ and laughed????? Well it’s difficult to believe that actually happened but if it did
I wouldn’t give it a second thought op as it’s such strange behaviour that I would suspect the woman is not entirely stable. Even horrible adults don’t tend to go up to 2 year olds and start calling them names completely unprovoked.

DS resisted all attempts to train until 3.5 and was then completely dry in a week and dry at night a month later. DD copying her brother was wanting to wear pants at 18 months but was still having accidents at school and not dry at night until 7. Potty training is a physical development thing.
I have said to a few people when I was struggling with DD. 'potty training is not an Olympic sport.'