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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

PA/Performance mum in Tesco made my toddler cry

116 replies

cranberryx · 22/09/2018 16:48

I don't know if this is passive aggressive or just plain performance parenting, but I still think it's bloody rude!

I'm also on edge because it's my due date today and so far nada, so that's probably making me a bit more sensitive than usual.

I pop to Tesco with DS (2 years and 10 months old) to pick up some pull up nappy pants. He is fairly dry during the day but has issues with reminding me if he needs to go whilst wearing his big boy pants. He is still in nappies overnight.

Standing in the nappy aisle, being tired, heavily pregnant and DS is helping me get his nappies off the bottom shelf, when suddenly a woman with a toddler in her trolley makes this loud proclaimation.

Name added for added pretentiousness.

PA mum: "Oh, Tarquin Jnr, look at that boy! You don't need nappies anymore, do you? You're a big boy! Not like that boy! He's a big baby! Not like you Tarquin Jnr!"

She might have been talking to her blank faced toddler, who clearly didn't care or was used to her. But my DS got quite upset.

DS kept trying to tell me that he was a big boy, and he did tell me when he needed to go. He's a bit sensitive and there were some sniffles. I told him that I knew all that and told him how proud of him that I was when he used the potty.

I just can't help thinking about how bloody rude that woman was!

It was like... She had a surreal need to one-up a stranger in the nappy aisle at the expense of an innocent child who could clearly hear her. Angry

I said nothing at the time and let her walk away because as I probably would have bashed her head open with my shopping basket, and I didn't want DS to see that.

Not much of an AIBU, but if anyone has any tips about potty training a toddler that forgets he's not wearing a nappy when he is wearing big boy pants, they would be very welcome.

I'll now pour my imaginary glass of wine as I imagine stealing the baguette from that woman's trolley and stuffing it down her performance parenting throat.

God. I have anger issues today.

OP posts:
Spudlet · 22/09/2018 17:16

How empty her life must be if the only way she can big herself up is to have a PA go at a little child. How utterly empty and pathetic.

Pity her, the utter thundercunt.

CaMePlaitPas · 22/09/2018 17:17

Praying for Tarquin Junior's potty regression OP Wink

Verbena87 · 22/09/2018 17:18

After you baguette-gagged her, you should’ve pointed out that whilst your son is still using nappies at night (as is absolutely developmentally normal at his age), he can understand and respond to his native language and just because Tarquin Jnr doesn’t appear to have the capacity for comprehending her offensive statement, she shouldn’t assume every other toddler shares his (in this case fortunate) lack of processing skills.

Probably good you didn’t though. Not poor old dry-arsed Tarquin’s fault his mum is a megacunt. Do hope he shits on her carpet later though.

Pandamodium · 22/09/2018 17:18

One day she will upset someone who can't restrain themselves as well.

I completely believe you, I didn't realise how horrible people could be till I had a child with an obvious medical problem.

anotherangel2 · 22/09/2018 17:18

Fucking idiot women!

As for potty training I would say only wear nappies/pull ups for sleep but as you about to give birth that might not be practical to make that change at the moment.

mummagirl · 22/09/2018 17:18

My 3 month old was a loud baby not crying just loud shouty. I didn't care, he was my fourth. Friend heavily pregnant said at a party to her older son " oh, we won't let OUR baby be so loud, will we?"

llangennith · 22/09/2018 17:19

😂 at 'dry-arsed Tarquin'!

highheelsandbobblehats · 22/09/2018 17:19

Bet she walked off and then looped back round to the nappy aisle after you left so she could get what she needed. Why else was she in that aisle?! Some people are sad and insecure and feel the need to bring others down to build herself up. Even if that person is a child. I'm sorry that you encountered her today Flowers
Good luck with the bump OP. Hope baby doesn't keep you waiting too long.

Knowivedonewrong · 22/09/2018 17:21

She was being a Cuntish Willy Dribble.

ScarlettSahara · 22/09/2018 17:23

upsideup - I feel your post is somewhat unfair. I know OP is probably upset but please don’t tell her she has misunderstood.

Sorry you had that OP - no point wasting your breath on people like that so I am sure reassuring your son & ignoring the silly bat was the right course. - -forming orderly queue to whack the sanctimonious shopper with a pack of Huggies- - Epic strikethrough fail!

MarthasGinYard · 22/09/2018 17:24

'Not poor old dry-arsed Tarquin’s fault his mum is a megacunt. Do hope he shits on her carpet later though.'

Grin
Happyandshiney · 22/09/2018 17:24

For those who don’t believe the OP, when my twins were about 2yo we were going round the supermarket (also Tesco’s) and I had both kids in reins (both serial runners).

A woman walked up to me and told that it was disgusting that I had my children chained up like dogs, that it was heartbreaking to watch and that I should be ashamed of myself.

She had one child, sitting in a trolley. (So no fucking idea what my life was like)

I’m not usually one for holding my tongue but I couldn’t trust myself to respond so turned on my heel and walked away.

I cried all the way home.

FlowersCakeBrew OP. Put her from your mind.

Sleepyblueocean · 22/09/2018 17:25

I did think it sounded far fetched but then I remembered the woman who when walking past us with ds in his sn buggy proclaimed loudly to her toddler " you don't need a buggy. You are not a baby". So maybe it isn't.

YouOKHun · 22/09/2018 17:25

Parents of toddlers need to understand that they can’t possibly judge yet whether their parenting has been a success so their judgement of others needs keeping to themselves. Give it 15 year and we’ll see if a) it matters that Tarquin was speedily out of nappies and b) whether the intervening years have seen Tarquin turn into something she hasn’t had much control over. Bloody glad mine have grown up and I don’t have to deal with these ridiculous people.

MarthasGinYard · 22/09/2018 17:25

Upsideup

It was you wasn't it

'Dd' Tarquinetta is a cover up Grin

cranberryx · 22/09/2018 17:26

@highheelsandbobblehats

You know what? I bet that's exactly what she did. Shock

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 22/09/2018 17:26

I'm not saying I doubt the veracity of this but seriously this is just absolutely wild. I can't think in which circumstances even the most twattiest and PA mothers would even do this!

LadyintheRadiator · 22/09/2018 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SubtitlesOn · 22/09/2018 17:27

Good luck with your bump SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

What a cow!!! AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry

She deffo needed nappies for Tarquinius JR otherwise why be in nappy isle

Your big boy will get there, he may go backwards for a while when baby comes but don't stress he will get there when he is ready SmileSmileSmileSmile

TeddybearBaby · 22/09/2018 17:27

Omg horrible woman!

One tip my mum gave me and it worked was to not bother asking if they need to go cos they’ll always just say no esp if they’re in the middle of something so I just used to go and pick them up and put them on the potty / toilet. Especially if I thought it had been a while since they’ve been. They went every time and it worked for me. Also choose pants or whatever it is you want to use and stick to them so it’s not confusing. It’s a lot for you with a new baby though (I had the same actually).

It sounds like he’s more or less cracked it. My daughter didn’t make it to the toilet in time the other day and she’s 9. That mum would’ve had a field day 😂

labazs · 22/09/2018 17:29

that was downright rude and horrible what the hell right has she to cast her opinion on someone elses child? how does she know he hasnt a medical condition for a start? i am sure your son is better than hers at a lot of things. its well known boys take longer to toilet train and sounds like hes got it all sorted just occasionally forgets hope the birth goes ok

highheelsandbobblehats · 22/09/2018 17:30

TeddybearBaby, I'm 36 and after two kids I barely make it to the toilet some days 😂

TeddybearBaby · 22/09/2018 17:32

I think I just peed a bit when I read that @highheelsandbobblehats 😂😉

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 22/09/2018 17:34

How does she know your ds doesn't have a medical condition. Cheeky Bitch.

Octopus37 · 22/09/2018 17:37

What a bitch, would have told her to fuck off tbh. She clearly has issues. You DS is doing great. I trained both of mine at your Son's age. They were dry at night very quickly but that was down to luck, nothing to do with my parenting or them being bigger boys. As others have said, she clearly has a sad life to behave like this.