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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD started Freshers week and changed into this party animal!!!!

79 replies

vivprod · 22/09/2018 00:12

My DD is experiencing Freshers week and has been out partying and drinking literally all week since last Saturday. I am rather worried as this is very much out of character for her. She usually is a homebody who studies hard and drinks very little. I am hoping that she gets it out of her system this week and then settles down, or will she get a taste for this and not want to stop partying? Really worried as its not her. I have spoken to her but she says she is fine. Worked really hard to get her place at Uni. Am I worrying for no reason??

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 22/09/2018 00:14

It's freshers week. That's largely what it's for. Talk to her about staying with her new pals and minding nothing goes in her drink. Condoms if she's going to get friendly.
Once lectures start it'll settle down.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 22/09/2018 00:14

Leave her be. If you can't party during freshers week when can you party? The fact that she has been keeping in touch enough for you to know what she is up to is a great sign. Plenty of freshers forget to call their parents and she hasn't. Let her enjoy herself and find her way. You are helicopter parenting and she isnt a child.

PickAChew · 22/09/2018 00:14

She'll get it out if her system once she's found her own place.

UrsulaPandress · 22/09/2018 00:16

Mine keeps saying "But it's Fresheeerrrrsss".

Before she went it was "But it's the last time we'll all be togetttthhhhheeerrr".

I sincerely hope she does calm ur down.

Where is yours?

LoveAGoodChat · 22/09/2018 00:18

Op if she has never done this before and it's out of character then it's probably like forbidden fruit and a novelty to her ....the having to go to classes the next day with a hangover will make.the novelty of partying wear off quickly...

I'm sure she will settle back into a routine pretty soon,

All you can do is give her advice e.g don't drink to the extent that you are so drunk that you lose awareness of where you are or what's happening around you (that will put her at risk of alcohol poisoning, and also make her very vulnerable and unable to protect herself from sexual assault/rape)..

But like you said if this isn't her usual behaviour she is probably finding it a novelty

StillMedusa · 22/09/2018 00:19

It's a rite of passage for many new students... panic not. No it's not ideal but real work hasn't started yet and the students are all desperate to fit in, make friends and appear cool.
It will pass ..she will feel rough, be broke and settle down!
Both of my (usually sensible) girls partied like demons in freshers fortnight, and they survived the experience (if it's any consolation they are now a respectable junior doctor and a specialist hospice nurse respectively and definitely do not get hammered on a regular basis!)
In fact both of mine partied a fair bit through year one at Uni and still came out with excellent results... they gradually learned their limits!

It's ok to worry, but she will be fine!

WelcomeToGreenvale · 22/09/2018 00:22

Is she living at home or away? In halls?

If the former then who can blame her for trying to get away and distance herself from living at home and being a child. If the latter and you're hearing about it afterwards, it's not going to be as bad as it sounds.

Angie169 · 22/09/2018 00:31

I worked a big student union for many years and have watched many students get absolutely wrecked in the first month or so and 90% of them grew up in to hard working scholars.
This is not 18/19 year olds either the mature students (25 up to 80+ yrs olds ) joining were just as bad if not worse.
Try not to fret , she will be home for Christmas before you know it !

CoughLaughFart · 22/09/2018 00:34

She’s told you what she’s up to. It’s when she starts lying that you need to worry.

SweatyFretty · 22/09/2018 00:34

Sounds like she's having a great time!

Broken11Girl · 22/09/2018 00:39

Totally normal. I was the same, angel at school, partied at uni, especially through freshers week. I did settle down a bit after the first couple of weeks, and learned to balance fun with work. She'll be fine. In the nicest possible way, stop worrying.

Lalliella · 22/09/2018 00:40

I did exactly the same. Was shy and quiet before I went to uni, then immediately started partying. I had a great time, made loads of friends, and got a first. Hope the same happens to your DD. You need to let her go a little bit now.

ReanimatedSGB · 22/09/2018 00:44

Unclench FFS. What she does is now her business and not yours. Hopefully she will have a wonderful time and then settle into a happy mix of work and play.

MooFeatures · 22/09/2018 00:46

Good on her Grin

MouseholeCat · 22/09/2018 00:47

It's freshers week- that's the point of it!! She'll enjoy herself, meet a bunch of people, feel like absolute shite and then settle down a bit.

I really went for it at uni but learnt balance pretty quick. Still got a first, landed a professional job, and now I'm lame enough that I get up at 5.30am every day.

OlennasWimple · 22/09/2018 00:48

Why do you even know about this? I'm so glad that social media wasn't around when I was a university - my parents thought that I spent a lot of time "in the library" when I wasn't at home when they called to speak to me Grin

TheFrendo · 22/09/2018 00:49

It is problematic that you know what your adult daughter is doing every day.

Original poster
vivprod · 22/09/2018 00:53

She is usually a quiet shy girl, I don't recognise her. I am happy that she has found friends and able to enjoy herself. I was expecting her to change when she was away from home, but not this quickly. The funny thing is that she started to chat to a girl on her course before she left for uni - who sounded very similar to her and now they are both at uni together the other girl is going to bed at 10am every night and that's when my daughter is just going out. I suppose she is now an adult and making her own choices! I just worry because she is not use to it and is so trusting of people, she sees the good in everyone.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 22/09/2018 00:56

It was the quietest, most studious girls whose hair I spent holding out of the toilet bowl while they regularly vomited snakebite and black in the SU. It mostly lasted about two terms and then settled down.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 22/09/2018 00:56

Sounds like me!! I totally embraced uni life and had some of the best years of my life there. Still managed to pass my degree. The trick is getting the balance right.

Original poster
vivprod · 22/09/2018 00:57

I meant going to bed at 10pm not am

OP posts:
SortingTheDrawers · 22/09/2018 00:57

I wish I was in her shoes. What a time to be alive!

SweatyFretty · 22/09/2018 01:00

She is usually a quiet shy girl, I don't recognise her.

She's 18! Her personality isn't fixed for ever. Change is a good thing. Most people don't suffer if they embrace their outgoing side.

ChinaCrisis · 22/09/2018 01:00

Good for her, this is exactly what Freshers Week is all about.

She will have an amazing time OP, I know it's very hard but please try not to worry x

Original poster
vivprod · 22/09/2018 01:02

Thanks to you all. Only child I suppose feeling a bit lost myself right now xx

OP posts:
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