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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have basically told neighbour to fuck off

221 replies

MrsPuff5 · 21/09/2018 18:11

Neighbour is also a school mum. Neighbour is generally rude to everyone. I tried to be friendly, invited her and kids over, out for days etc. She is not interested and ignores me. I wave hello and try to be cheery and she ignores me still. I take parcels in and over to her, she grunts and takes them. Last week I made a last ditch attempt at conversation and was told by her husband to leave it because my brother, who lives with us, is gay. They are Jehovah's witnesses... Sad but never mind. Would rather not be around people who think like that.

I have recently become friends with a couple of other school mums, who my neighbour is also friendly with apparently. Today I had invited those mums over for a drink before school run. Ten minutes in neighbour knocks and says she saw visitors arriving and can she join us? I replied "absolutely no, you ignore me, insult my family, but want my hospitality because your friends are here. You do not want to be around me, but will happily drink my drink and sit in my house. No." And I shut the door.

The women at my house said they understood but also called me harsh. Am I? Was I wrong?

OP posts:
ForgivenessIsDivine · 21/09/2018 20:55

Wow, I am in awe, you actually managed to formulate the words and let them all come out together in a perfectly formed concise sentence.

As a PP said.. You rock!!

And that's before I learned about the scones and prosecco!

ohdeardeardear · 21/09/2018 21:05

Jesus I want friends like you! Prosecco before school - bloody ace!

billybagpuss · 21/09/2018 21:13

Well done, the perfect response after the way she’s treated you.

The only slightly troubling thing for me is that she may have behaved the way she has because of her husband. It was him who spoke harshly to to, and whilst she’s been dismissive and unfriendly it was him who told you to leave it. After all that it would have taken a lot of gall to knock on your door. I just wonder from what you’ve said if he’s controlling and wouldn’t let her socialise with you?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/09/2018 21:16

Harsh or doormat, I choose harsh.

Gemini69 · 21/09/2018 21:17

your neighbour is a cheeky hypocritical cow... well done OP.. and I hope your brother find his confidence and happiness Flowers

Aeroflotgirl · 21/09/2018 21:28

Testing how was she harsh. You treat people with rudeness and disrespect and are homophobic, and you want to come into thir house just because your friends are there, not to see op, expect tgat, she deserved it.

BeautifulPossibilities · 21/09/2018 21:43

Well done you.

Plus you did her a favour... they can't have booze either so win win for her.

You know those watchtower magazines they hand out- could you find something similar about not being homophobic?

themueslicamel · 21/09/2018 21:48

I wouldn't worry, she's a Jehovah's witness, knocking on doors and getting them slammed in her face is second nature to her.....

Ilovemypantry · 21/09/2018 21:48

YANBU....definitely stop taking parcels in for her.

Strokethefurrywall · 21/09/2018 22:03

I wouldn't worry, she's a Jehovah's witness, knocking on doors and getting them slammed in her face is second nature to her.....

Hahahahahahah, best response of the lot!! Grin

OP, you did exactly what you should have done. Don't doubt yourself, your reaction was perfect.

user1471456357 · 21/09/2018 22:17

Sounds very different to how the JW’s I know would behave. I have never come across a JW, who would actively pursue friendships with non JW’s, or are the friends you were entertaining JW’s too?

Crunchymum · 21/09/2018 22:21

You don't have much luck with the school parents do you OP? Shock

longwayoff · 21/09/2018 22:23

They're not JWs if they're swigging prosecco are they?. Good on you OP

BrokeLuce · 21/09/2018 22:28

Yanbu, OP. I had to stop speaking to a Mormon friend for exactly this reason. I hope your DB isn't too troubled by that idiot.

user1471456357 · 21/09/2018 22:32

Why do you say that longwayJW’s can drink alcohol .

Luvly12 · 21/09/2018 22:33

I sooo want your balls OP!
You've inspired me to start taking no shit

greathat · 21/09/2018 22:33

Drink alcohol but not have birthday cake... messed up :)

daughterofanarchy · 21/09/2018 22:39

Wow OP, good on you for standing up for yourself and your brother! Sounds like you have tried to be nice for so long and it’s just got to the stage where enough is enough. Credit to you looking out for your brother after the loss of your parents, family is everything.

JellyBears · 21/09/2018 22:45

Good for you, to insult your family and then try to muscle in on your nice afternoon.

I don’t they drink alcohol anyway so she would of been uncomfortable anyway.

HollowTalk · 21/09/2018 22:45

I wouldn't worry, she's a Jehovah's witness, knocking on doors and getting them slammed in her face is second nature to her.....

I just laughed out loud at this. I'm still annoyed that the JWs banged on my door when my little boy was asleep in his buggy right by the glass fronted front door. That was 26 years ago - let no-one say I don't bear a grudge!

JellyBears · 21/09/2018 22:45

i don’t think they

justilou1 · 21/09/2018 22:46

Good for you, OP! And stop taking in parcels for the judgey toad, too!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/09/2018 22:56

If Jesus were around these days he’d be scandalising people by hanging out with LBGTQ+ folk, I suspect.

I think so to cunningartificer. Read the Gospels - Jesus said very little about sex (pretty much just "be faithful to your spouse"). He said a lot about money, and a lot about the abuse of power, but didn't condemn anyone for their sexual behaviour. He spent his time with people who were on the edges of society, or who were disapproved of for whatever reason.

I think LBGTQ folk, and people who have to sleep on the streets, and people struggling on benefits, and users of food banks would be exactly the people he would hang out with.

longwayoff · 21/09/2018 22:56

User, seriously? I'm amazed but take your word for it. Apologies to all non-abstaining JWs.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/09/2018 22:59

OP - I wouldn't worry too much about upsetting her. She will probably get extra JW Brownie Points for being persecuted for her faith.