To have basically told neighbour to fuck off

[MrsPuff5]

Neighbour is also a school mum. Neighbour is generally rude to everyone. I tried to be friendly, invited her and kids over, out for days etc. She is not interested and ignores me. I wave hello and try to be cheery and she ignores me still. I take parcels in and over to her, she grunts and takes them. Last week I made a last ditch attempt at conversation and was told by her husband to leave it because my brother, who lives with us, is gay. They are Jehovah's witnesses... Sad but never mind. Would rather not be around people who think like that.

I have recently become friends with a couple of other school mums, who my neighbour is also friendly with apparently. Today I had invited those mums over for a drink before school run. Ten minutes in neighbour knocks and says she saw visitors arriving and can she join us? I replied "absolutely no, you ignore me, insult my family, but want my hospitality because your friends are here. You do not want to be around me, but will happily drink my drink and sit in my house. No." And I shut the door.

The women at my house said they understood but also called me harsh. Am I? Was I wrong?

[JayDot500]

Urgh. I have plenty of JWs in my family. I love them but it's caused so much hurt I just cannot stand that cult.

They are incredibly judgemental regarding issues their watchtower god says they should be concerned with. I don't know if my family would go as far as saying things like your neighbour has OP, one particular JW cousin was good friend's with a gay man. But it's likely that your neighbour is definitely one of the more zealous JWs. She should be very concerned about their own kids, not yours.

[Asterado]

Doesn't sound like JW's to me they are very tolerant/ not judgemental

Oh my. I’ve just seen this little nugget of pure wisdom. Cool joke

[Poodles1980]

Just to go totally off thread here but how do they pick the 144k people who go to heaven?

[PaddyF0dder]

Good work OP.

Religious homophobic bigots like her need to be put in their place.

[hamabr86]

I grew up in the Jehovahs Witnesses too and they should be more worried about their own kids than yours living with a gay man!

In my experience the more batshit the parents are about this sort of things they more wildly their kids go off the rails when they get a hint of freedom. Several of the people I grew up with ended up as teen mothers, on drugs etc.

If you see her again I would just say that you were worried for her as she shouldn't really be associating with 'worldy' people...

[CSIblonde]

I'd probably have phrased it slightly differently but I think she was a cf. It's like she was aggressively trying to stamp her ownership of them on your territory.

[Jux]

You are TOTALLY unreasonable to put jam on top of cream, even clotted. Everyone knows that's completely wrong, unless you're Cornish. Otherwise the correct way is to put cream then jam; DEVONIANS FOREVER!!!!!

[LizzyA123]

Hopefully the neighbour in question will learn something about herself and be more civil in future. Stop taking in her parcels and keep contact to a minimum. Having a religion does not override the need for common human decency. Wonder if she told her husband.

[PinkSquidgyPig]

Regardless of your dear brothers sexuality, your neighbours religion or indeed the tastiness of your scones it is infinitely bad manners to invite yourself to anyone's social event. But unbelievable that she did it in light of the circumstances. You were (rightly) indignant in your response. You were reasonable, accurate in your response and I applaud you!

[PoisonousSmurf]

JW hate anyone who is not like them. Anyone would have done the same. What a CF that woman is!

[flowergrrl77]

I tell you @PlinkPlink the Cornish way of scones isn’t for scones! Just they started to use their neighbours bread stuffs after a while! The Cornish way is only correct if the breadstuff is a split :P

I live nowhere near Devon, the Devonian way is also the commonwealth way btw! Lol

[Theoscargoesto]

I really really wish that I had the chutzpah to do this. Me, I can find the words to say what I think only 10 minutes after going, oh, well, yeah, I suppose.....

OP I salute you!

[TemptressofWaikiki]

Time and time again, I see that those who are subjected to discrimination both directly or indirectly are expected to be the bigger person and disregard bad behaviour from bigots. Why?! OP’s loyalty should be with her brother and if anything, that was the ‘teachable moment’. OP does not have to facilitate a hypocritical and rude neighbour. As for her being under the thumb of her DH, it still does not excuse her rude behaviour in his absence. And it really does not seem the case, since, she was apparently brazen enough to come over to OP’s house when she spotted mutual friends. Whether her behaviour is compounded by religious beliefs or not is entirely immaterial, she has been extremely rude and unneighbourly. So, you should just ignore her and not take in her parcels.

[PlinkPlink]

@flowergrrl77

Oh my days... I can't believe you just put that.


Tell the truth... tell the truth, right now!!!! You're a Devonian, aren't you? You're a secret Devonian who wants to destroy the true Cornish way of eating scones!

Heathen!!!! 😂😂😂

[Santaclarita]

Kind of hope that she sat at home crying afterwards, feeling bullied. Shameful disgrace of a woman. Well done you for putting her in her place.

[flowergrrl77]

@MrsPuff5
Jam first, then clotted cream

OMG I thought you were awesome but then THIS!

That’s only correct for traditional Cornish splits NOT scones!

Cornish splits are little yeast-leavened bread rolls, they are split when still warm and first buttered, then spread with jam before topping it with a generous dollop of clotted cream.

So you have to have butter AND cream this way, the normal Devon way the cream simply replaces the butter! (And is for a scone - not a split)

[Bluntness100]

Doesn't sound like JW's to me they are very tolerant/ not judgemental

[Leftlegin]

Doesn't sound like JW's to me they are very tolerant/ not judgemental.

[Holshicup]

Most definitely a natural response, however I do wonder how she would respond to you in future if she had been invited in to your home, her ridiculous views may be harder to explain to others after enjoying your hospitality

[Somethingaboutlilo]

Something doesn’t really add up to me. Like PP I have family who are JWs and they are lovely, welcoming people. I know that they are encouraged to treat everyone with respect and love whether or not they agree with their lifestyles. They are encouraged to be friendly but not forge friendships with people who are not JWs. Maybe ask her if what her DH said is true or his own version of rudeness?

Maybe your neighbour is just a horrible excuse for a human (a few found in all religions) and is using religion as an excuse? Either way she is a CF and YANBU.

Incidentally, JWs are allowed to drink alcohol, tea and coffee. They don’t believe disabled people are banned from heaven (everyone is except for a select number) either.

[clicketyclick66]

OP, you are the best - I wish I had your courage! I would have probably let her in, but been frosty with her.

[Geekynzmum]

Well done op for standing up to her and making her realise she can't have things both ways. You may find that she starts to make a bit of an effort to be more friendly with you and you may even receive an apology with any luck!
I find that unfortunately some JWs take things too literally with their teachings, however please don't tar them all with the same brush as a lot are lovely.
Most of my dad's side of the family are JWs and my sister is a lesbian, she is treated no differently to anyone else in the family despite this. We do however have one family member who took the teachings to the extreme, so much so that she cut contact with anyone in the family who wasn't a JW.

[jcsp]

Harsh, but justifyably so.

The head part of me would have invited her in for a chat and a gentle piece of my mind.

The heart part of me would have done just as you did.

Which would have won? Probably the heart in defence of my (adult) gay children.

I’ve never had neighbours/‘friends’ like this but if I’m honest I’m always half prepared for a conversation. I’m sure some acquaintances chatter behind our backs.

Visiting Jehovahs Witnesses and Mormons are treated politely but left in no doubt about my views on their LGBTQ treatment.

Family come way ahead of strange neighbours.

All the best.

[vanillapieandicecream]

OP, I think you are amazing and I wish there were more people like you. I cannot bear toxic, judgemental and malicious people like that. If we were friends, I would be pouring you lots of prosecco and then telling your neighbour that you had a massive point.

[iris96]

Well done OP