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AIBU?

To have basically told neighbour to fuck off

221 replies

MrsPuff5 · 21/09/2018 18:11

Neighbour is also a school mum. Neighbour is generally rude to everyone. I tried to be friendly, invited her and kids over, out for days etc. She is not interested and ignores me. I wave hello and try to be cheery and she ignores me still. I take parcels in and over to her, she grunts and takes them. Last week I made a last ditch attempt at conversation and was told by her husband to leave it because my brother, who lives with us, is gay. They are Jehovah's witnesses... Sad but never mind. Would rather not be around people who think like that.

I have recently become friends with a couple of other school mums, who my neighbour is also friendly with apparently. Today I had invited those mums over for a drink before school run. Ten minutes in neighbour knocks and says she saw visitors arriving and can she join us? I replied "absolutely no, you ignore me, insult my family, but want my hospitality because your friends are here. You do not want to be around me, but will happily drink my drink and sit in my house. No." And I shut the door.

The women at my house said they understood but also called me harsh. Am I? Was I wrong?

OP posts:

Report

BeeFarseer · 21/09/2018 18:24

Well done, you were spot on.

MrsPuff5 · 21/09/2018 18:25

The ladies with me said they were very aware of her beliefs and apparently she had expressed to them that she was worried about my children living with a sinful man. They had told her she can't say stuff like that, but I feel like her religion legitimises her homophobia to them! But they were supportive, however laughingly made comments about me being harsh and not to get on the wrong side of me...

OP posts:

CoraPirbright · 21/09/2018 18:26

Bloody well done OP!!

Sadly she will probably put it all down to religious persecution and not as a result of her lack of manners, appalling behaviour and foul beliefs.

JustDanceAddict · 21/09/2018 18:26

You were completely in the right.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/09/2018 18:26

She sounds really nasty, I would keep well away from her, do her no more favours and don't greet her.

buttfacedmiscreant · 21/09/2018 18:26

I'd tell them that she hadn't just been rude about my brother but had repeatedly been rude to me in other ways and I didn't want her in my home.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/09/2018 18:27

Not harsh at all but be prepared to lose the new friends though. They'll probably take her side eventually.

wizzywig · 21/09/2018 18:27

Her face mustve been a picture

rwalker · 21/09/2018 18:28

your response was brillinat .

turahturah · 21/09/2018 18:29

You said the right thing-I don't understand why some neighbours act as though you're trying to be their best friends when you even say good morning -I've got some like that!

Josiebloggs · 21/09/2018 18:30

Op you're amazing, not harsh at all.

ThistleAmore · 21/09/2018 18:32

No - you stood up to a rude homophobe and by doing so, I think you are incredibly brave and strong and principled - well done!

woollytights · 21/09/2018 18:32

Who the hell does that?!

ThistleAmore · 21/09/2018 18:33

Not harsh at all but be prepared to lose the new friends though. They'll probably take her side eventually.

Well, that doesn't sound like a great loss.

As Dr Seuss so eloquently put it: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Racecardriver · 21/09/2018 18:34

I actually think she was being a massive Cf. Obviously you didn't mince your words but I can't fault you for it.

Juells · 21/09/2018 18:35

Today I had invited those mums over for a drink before school run.

Finding it hard to get past that

Merryoldgoat · 21/09/2018 18:35

You, my darling, are fucking awesome.

WonderTweek · 21/09/2018 18:36

Excellent response OP! Well done. I wouldn’t worry about the other mums. If they stop hanging out with you because of this they probably wouldn’t have been very good friends anyway.

Socksandshoes · 21/09/2018 18:36

You did exactly what I’d have wished I’d done while sitting at the kitchen table watching the homophobic cow drink my drinks.
Well done you.

FullOfJellyBeans · 21/09/2018 18:37

If she had just been a bit stand off isn then I would have said yes you're harsh but her DH specifically told you not to bother because your DB is gay so you're not bothering as requested.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 21/09/2018 18:38

I don't think you were harsh considering their treatment of your family.

If you were stopping her joining a conversation on the street with you all then maybe, but not in your own home.

annielouisa · 21/09/2018 18:38

I presumed the drink was tea or coffee? If something stronger that's a bit worrying

Akanamali · 21/09/2018 18:38

Why would she even want to go into your sinful house and drink your sinful drinks from your sinful cups?

rosamacrose · 21/09/2018 18:40

MrsPuffs5 perhaps she was Daniel, going to the lions den, then! Can't copy and paste on my phone, but Wikipedia has a story.

I married in to an evangelical sect. (Out now, phew!)

Recruiting led to a straight path to heaven.
(No offence meant to those with religious beliefs)

Fossie · 21/09/2018 18:43

I’d have invited her in. I would always take a chance on building bridges. Why assume her attitude to you is fixed? You have an opportunity to be the bigger person.

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