CAN I PLEASE SHOUT OUT THAT NOT EVERYONE ACCOMPANYING A PERSON WITH SN IS THEIR FRIEND OR CARER????

[hellokittymania]

Am not in the UK at the moment but this happens everywhere! I wrote 3 months ago about nearly being taken advantage of on Hampstead heath. I am very petite and have an obvious disability. People mistake me for 15 a lot of the time. I go alone a lot and yes I ask for help when needed. 9 times out of 10 the person i am with gets mistaken for someone i know. During open house london at the treasurery i think it was, a woman at security asked someone i had met in the queu to move things around in my bag, where i had valuables. I was livid and reported it.

Wednesday, a lady in her 50s was trying to do something off, and I knew. We went into a supermarket, where i said i was fine and would like to be left alone. I had met woman on road with nobody around and she would not leave me alone and not even pretend calling a friend worked. She told supermarket I was lost and she was taking me to her house..She made me buy food for her and checkout girl give her the change. I said give the change to me. She gave me wrong amount. She eventually left, but the checkout girl ran after her asking where I live....

So can I PLEASE, PLEASE bring to EVERYONES attention that not everyone is my carer, my friend etc. PLEASE! I literally got robbed in plain sight but i was "lost" and the kind robber was helping me by taking me to her house.....

Eh??

Did you ask the person on the till for help to get this lady away from you? Did you explain what was happening to her?

Oh god, kitty, did you lose much?

If it's your local supermarket, is there any point (and do you have the time/energy) to write to the manager saying basically what you've said above?

That the checkout woman was trying to be helpful but was actually helping the thief?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3296238-What-could-I-have-said-to-keep-safe

Thread from july

And please, please take what I'm saying to heart. Bad people are out there. Thankfully i dont meet them very often

Wednesday, a lady in her 50s was trying to do something off, and I knew. We went into a supermarket, where i said i was fine and would like to be left alone. I had met woman on road with nobody around and she would not leave me alone and not even pretend calling a friend worked. She told supermarket I was lost and she was taking me to her house..She made me buy food for her and checkout girl give her the change.

Why didn’t you call the police?

That is awful, I've seen people before try to take advantage of the disabled (you only gave me a £10 note blatant lie to a stroke victim through to one lady in particular who seems to have a homing beacon for every scam artist to pick on). That said though I'm not sure what the wider community can do about it. Assertiveness classes or perhaps a carer of some description may be the way you need to go about things. The scum who are willing to prey on you aren't going away any time soon.

It’s awful that you were taken advantage of like that. You seem like an articulate and intelligent individual, were you unable to make it clear to the shop assistant that you didn’t know the person? Did the woman threaten you, you clearly felt intimidated? Have you reported it to the police?

New, I was saying very loudly at the till for the woman to leave me alone yes. And after she did leave manager was called and i got home safely. But message is if someone with a disability is asking for very obvious help please take it seriously. I will report it to the police with a friend next week.

I don't understand why they didn't take you seriously.

I don’t understand why they didn’t take you seriously either.

I’m sorry you had to go through this but I think you’re doing the right thing raising awareness of it.

Raven, after she left we nearly did. But manager came so we left it. I will go monday though. I didnt lose much but I got very very lucky. She was trying to take me back to her home

God that sounds terrifying

Toast, when I'm with other people, at a cafe, tfl etc people at the cafe will ask what does she want, i constantly have to speak up. And its not just with me. Happens to other people with sn.

Why did you actually but her things? Surely in public you cannot be made to do that! You could have stood still and screamed perhaps?
Maybe if this happens repeatedly to you- perhaps because of your disability- you should consider having someone with you. Or an alarm.

@hellokittymania

Sorry, but you said she made you buy her food. Did you buy her shopping with your money? If so, why? Why didn't you just explain to the lady at the till exactly what was going on? Instead if just saying "leave me alone" actually tell someone what is happening.

I remember your other thread. Made me so angry on your behalf. It’s good that you raise these issues here I can see why OP might not have been listened to because once people ‘decide’ what they are seeing is someone with their carer (because that’s what they are expecting to be seeing ifyswim) they just assumed OPs protestations were her getting stroppy with the ‘carer’. I think if I ever witnessed something like this I would think gang on, what’s really going on here? Hope you’re ok HelloKitty.

Why did you actually but her things? Surely in public you cannot be made to do that!

Did you read the part where the staff ignored OPs requests for help?

Stop for a second and consider how disempowering it must be to be ignored by people, especially when you’re trying to ask for help.

How did you end up buying her shopping?

Please do report to the police, I don’t know what else you can do though other than walking away from people.

I’m not sure that an assumption that she was your carer was made on this occasion because of people being unthinking though. It’s sounds like she was taking advantage and it was obvious to other people that this was the case.

It had never occurred to me before that this could happen, thank you for raising awareness.

I’m sorry that this happened to you.

That's very upsetting. I'm sorry that happened to you. I am a support worker and the infantilization of people with disabilities really boils my piss. I really hope they have CCTV that can ID the woman.

It might be a totally stupid idea but would a panic alarm help?

(I’m also disabled and once people know I’m hard of hearing or if I’ve got my stick they do tend to talk to the people I’m with which is very irritating).

*wasnt obvious

This is absolutely shocking. I am a young female with mobility issues (which are not necessarily obvious unless I have my stick) and you really do have to be assertive with some people. You really should report this it's wrong wrong wrong!

Katie, I do everything I can to be as safe as I can but society also needs to be aware of the danger of assuming that anyone accompanying someone with sn is their carer or a good person. I am in greece and my greek is pretty fluent and i even checkout girl if she spoke other languages since i speak many and have had to explain in other languages on other occasions.

And I don't have a carer. People who assume everyone who I'm with must be my carer when I have my stick really really get to me!!