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AIBU?

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CAN I PLEASE SHOUT OUT THAT NOT EVERYONE ACCOMPANYING A PERSON WITH SN IS THEIR FRIEND OR CARER????

95 replies

hellokittymania · 21/09/2018 11:00

Am not in the UK at the moment but this happens everywhere! I wrote 3 months ago about nearly being taken advantage of on Hampstead heath. I am very petite and have an obvious disability. People mistake me for 15 a lot of the time. I go alone a lot and yes I ask for help when needed. 9 times out of 10 the person i am with gets mistaken for someone i know. During open house london at the treasurery i think it was, a woman at security asked someone i had met in the queu to move things around in my bag, where i had valuables. I was livid and reported it.

Wednesday, a lady in her 50s was trying to do something off, and I knew. We went into a supermarket, where i said i was fine and would like to be left alone. I had met woman on road with nobody around and she would not leave me alone and not even pretend calling a friend worked. She told supermarket I was lost and she was taking me to her house..She made me buy food for her and checkout girl give her the change. I said give the change to me. She gave me wrong amount. She eventually left, but the checkout girl ran after her asking where I live....

So can I PLEASE, PLEASE bring to EVERYONES attention that not everyone is my carer, my friend etc. PLEASE! I literally got robbed in plain sight but i was "lost" and the kind robber was helping me by taking me to her house.....

OP posts:
StripySocksAlways · 21/09/2018 13:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellokittymania · 21/09/2018 13:33

Going to grab much needed souvlaki. If i dont answer i am enjoying grilled chicken

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 13:34

Actually OP I’m sorry if my speculation as to why you handed the money over came across as speaking for you. I hate when people do that with me, and I’m really really sorry if I just did it to you.

I meant it to be maybes not speaking for you. I’m sorry.

hellokittymania · 21/09/2018 13:36

Socks people should be aware that ANY one with sn might be in that kind of situation and yes it DOES happen

Now my chicken is waiting to be eaten

OP posts:
hellokittymania · 21/09/2018 13:39

Hen I understood you. Dont worry.

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 13:45

Thanks Kitty I get so angry when people to it do me and I was horrified that I might have done it to you!

Gemini69 · 21/09/2018 13:51

so a random woman forced your card/money out of your purse/pocket and the Checkout staff member did nothing whilst you continually asked for help ? that is appalling.. Flowers

I'm absolutely baffled OP... and I hope your Okay now... I agree with everyone on here... you absolutely need a personal alarm Flowers

teaandtoast · 21/09/2018 13:53

Yes, I'm glad you posted, kitty.

steff13 · 21/09/2018 14:00

I don’t know why and won’t presume to speak for the OP, but I really object to this victim blaming attitude.

People are just trying to understand the full situation. Not everything is victim blaming.

YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 14:02

People are just trying to understand the full situation. Not everything is victim blaming

OP posted the full situation.

Repeatedly asking her “why didn’t you....”
or telling her “you should have just...” “if you’d done ..... this wouldn’t have happened” absolutely is victim blaming.

The assumption that someone with a disability must have got it wrong somehow and it must be their action or lack of action that is the problem is awful.

Gemini69 · 21/09/2018 14:07

I don't see anyone victim blaming here.. I think people are struggling to understand why a Staff Member would ignore someone clearly asking for Help..

StripySocksAlways · 21/09/2018 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 14:12

I think people are struggling to understand why a Staff Member would ignore someone clearly asking for Help

Then why are they questioning OPs actions and not the inaction of the staff member?

LRDtheFeministDragon · 21/09/2018 14:14

Really?

What are people struggling with, exactly?

All this 'goodness, I am soooo baffled OP, how could this happen' sounds ridiculous.

Use a modicum of reflection and you'll understand how. The staff member (or Staff Member, if that's something different) didn't treat the OP like a competent adult, because she is disabled, and because there was someone else there who was manipulating her. The OP explains that in her very first post.

Dagnabit · 21/09/2018 14:15

Presumably the language barrier was an issue, although the OP does speak some Greek. And I suppose, if she can't see very well then she may not have known what she was buying. Whatever happened, it's horrible feeling intimidated- even more so in a foreign country and with a visual impairment; some people are despicable.

BlancheM · 21/09/2018 14:17

Oh my gosh this is awful! Good on you for using your experience to raise awareness, it was clearly sorely needed.

Gemini69 · 21/09/2018 14:36

asking for clarification of the circumstances described is not Victim blaming either...

I blame the Staff Member in Greece...

StripySocksAlways · 21/09/2018 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 15:29

StripySocksAlways I hope that them all being written down together helps people to see how wrong it is

hellokittymania · 21/09/2018 17:07

Im back. Staff in shops often assume complete strangers are my carers and people NEED TO BE AWARE of how dangerous this is. As i mentioned the woman wanted to take me to her house. And as I mentioned in my first house, when I was in open houses on them a few years ago the security guard at one of Britain’s top building a perfect stranger to roll around in my bag. I made a huge complaint because I had credit cards, money, everything in my bag There is no way in hell I want some stranger putting her hand in my bag.

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