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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I don't owe OH this money

102 replies

whatdoyouthank · 19/09/2018 20:43

I had a car crash in January my car got written off. OH brought me the same car and I agreed to pay him off when I got the payout.

I received the cheque yesterday but I feel as if I shouldn't have to give him the full amount because he sold his car and now drives mine. I'm not even insured on the car he bought me and he drives it full time.

Just wondering what everyone else thinks not trying to be greedy

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 19/09/2018 21:18

Who is the new car registered to? If it is you then insure yourself and take him off, then give him his money.

If he’s not happy with that arrangement then he needs to reimburse you for your travel costs for the last nine months since you’ve not had a car and then you get to chose a new car.

He’s a CF.

Whocansay · 19/09/2018 21:18

Apologies! Didn't read that properly, clearly! Blush

Dollymixture22 · 19/09/2018 21:18

Oh dear. If this man expects you to give him this money you have problems.

You crashed your car. husband bought himself a new car let you drive It for a short period of time then took you off the insurance so you couldn’t use it.

The cheque is for your car, not his.

This makes me worry you have problems with asserting yourself. Is he bullying you?

ButchyRestingFace · 19/09/2018 21:24

Does your husband think you owe him the money?

Do ask him why he thinks this. and report back here forthwith

Atlantea · 19/09/2018 21:25

if you're not insured and youre not driving it - then ITS NOT YOUR CAR!!

BolleauxtoBankers · 19/09/2018 21:29

Not your car, it's his. You owe him nothing. Buy your own car with the insurance money, and don't put his name on it or on the insurance.

Clutterbugsmum · 19/09/2018 21:30

Why don't you drive the car.

Was it your choice or his.

PrincessConsuelaBannanaHammock · 19/09/2018 21:33

Yeah if you aren't insured on it & can't drive it then it's not your car Confused

user1andonly · 19/09/2018 21:33

This sounds so bizarre!

Yanbu.

He keeps the car and you keep the money (and buy yourself a car)

Or

You give him the money and he gives you the car

He can't have the car and the money. Does he think he can?

KatharinaRosalie · 19/09/2018 21:33

So in which way is this your car? Don't give him any money for his car.

Butterymuffin · 19/09/2018 21:34

Pick your time and say 'So, I guess I'll start looking for a new car for myself now the insurance has come through'

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 19/09/2018 21:40

Is he waiting for you to pay before he hands over the car? Or is he just hoping that you will cough up for his new car and somehow not notice that you are still carless? Either way you don't owe him a penny.

TittyGolightly · 19/09/2018 21:40

Yeah if you aren't insured on it & can't drive it then it's not your car

Legally, that’s not true.

We have borrowed a spare car from FIL. Logbook - which legally records the keeper, not the owner - changed to DH’s name. Car insured for him and I to drive. FIL can’t drive it and isn’t insured on it. We don’t own it, FIL does.

Thethiniceofanewday · 19/09/2018 21:46

Titty, are you sure you're not on dodgy ground with that? I was told you had to have an 'insurable interest' in a vehicle before you could get cover, i.e. that you have to own it. If your FIL owns the car, you don't have the right to insure it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/09/2018 21:48

Now that he’s taken possession of the car, even if you buy it off him, he will probably still think he’s entitled to drive it whenever he wants. I agree with pps. He bought himself a car. Time to buy one for you.

Thethiniceofanewday · 19/09/2018 21:49

PS - quite happy to be corrected!

whatdoyouthank · 19/09/2018 21:50

The car is in my name, he sold his car and didn't bother buying another one.

I haven't been driving much as I don't work anymore and had a horrible pregnancy. But I'm going to need the car again now I've had the baby.

My insurance is really high so we just left it as it wasn't a necessity and his is cheap.

He got 4K for his car and put it in his savings and he has used some of it for decorating the house etc for us.

He has money I have nothing but it will be a shit storm if I tell him I'm not handing it over.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 19/09/2018 21:51

Thethinice
Dh owns my car. I couldn’t be there to purchase it and it really was no point in putting it in my name. I’m the main driver just not the registered keeper and it is my insurance policy. No issue with me doing fThis. The rules are unlikely to be different just because we are married.

Atlantea · 19/09/2018 21:52

He has money I have nothing but it will be a shit storm if I tell him I'm not handing it over.

Well there shouldnt be a shit storm, because you dont have a car. Ask him what the money is for, and if he says 'the car' say you dont drive the car

Haireverywhere · 19/09/2018 21:52

I don't understand sorry. I think you need to pay him back AND take possession of the car that's in your name.

If he wants a car he has to use the savings or if you don't mind use yours and give you half the money back if it'll be shared.

Goldmandra · 19/09/2018 21:53

He has money I have nothing but it will be a shit storm if I tell him I'm not handing it over.

In what other ways is this man controlling and abusive?

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/09/2018 21:53

Well even if you were to buy it off him, you shouldn’t pay the full price. A) because he uses it and B) depreciation since he bought the car. I can see why there would be a shitstorm as it’s in your name. Does he intend to buy himself another car?

CrispbuttyNo1 · 19/09/2018 21:55

He’s your husband. I don’t understand this division of funds where one half has all the cash and the other is broke. It’s unfair and controlling.

HermioneGoesBackHome · 19/09/2018 21:55

Well the bottom line is that you need to buy a car.
He has one that he is insured in and he is driving.
You are not insured in it and nor are you driving it.
Whether you are the owner in paper doesn’t change anything.

So I wouod propose him to buy him a car with the money you have p, the same way he has bought you a car. You chose the car, out it in his name but insure it at your name only and you are the only one to drive it.
It will still his car won’t it?

category12 · 19/09/2018 21:56

Do you have access to money (other than this)? Are you scared of him?

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