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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why would he need 2 iPhones ??!

112 replies

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 18:14

NC for this. ‘Dh’ works away most of the week. He recently got a new company iPhone, but kept his old one.
I use find my iPhone app while he’s away to see if he’s back from the office in his hotel room so I know it’s a good time to call most evenings. I noticed tonight that not only has he got his new iPhone and I pad away with him, but his old iPhone too... and it’s online... why would he need it?? I’ve got a horrible feeling in my gut....

OP posts:

Original poster

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 20:02

Again I repeat he does not use 2 phones. He uses one and one only, his new one. No need to take the 'old phone'.

OP posts:

Original poster

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 20:06

I'm not ringing him as all the advice on here about potential cheating partners is to get your ducks in a row and dig a bit more before confronting them!
I'd like to speak to him face to face about this when he comes home. But clearly the consensus is I'm a mad stalking wife with no need to worry. I hope you're right!

OP posts:

adaline · 19/09/2018 20:07

Why don't you just ask him? Sitting at home fretting and speculating (because that's all it is at this point) isn't going to do you any good.

There could be loads of reasons why he's taken it with him - maybe it has some music downloaded onto it that's not on the new phone, or a game account he hasn't transferred over yet. Maybe some of the games he plays haven't been upgraded to being able to be used on the IOS yet.

HidingFromMyKids · 19/09/2018 20:09

So many people missing the point or clearly don't understand.

Both iphones are work phones so that rules out any idea of using one to do this and the other for that.

The tracking thing is irrelevant, many people use it as a handy tool, I wish I could benefit from it. I never know what time to make tea for as my DP works in a different place and till a different time every day. So I get that.

I presume the old phone just shows as being turned on as you used to both track each other with that device.

You know he's got the ipad as it's not in your house.

So with most points covered all I can think is he's taken anything that might be synced with each other.

Whether it be cheating or porn or looking up your bday/Xmas present I'd guess he doesn't want what he does on one phone to be showing on the other as you may see it?

Sorry OP it might not be that but I know you seem to have a feeling and that's the only thing I can think of as you have explained other options x

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/09/2018 20:11

If he knows you're tracking all three devices, then surely just ask him (albeit when he's back, if necessary) why he's still using it.

He's not hiding it - if he's told you to track him.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 19/09/2018 20:16

Could he have taken the phone to pass it on to a colleague? Surely if it has been a business phone the company will want it back?

Original poster

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 20:17

Thank you Hiding you actually seem to understand where I'm coming from!
Dowager Believe it or not he's not actually that technically savvy so it wouldn't even have occurred to him that the 'old phone' would be visible on the app.
It's even called 'xxxx old phone' on the app!

OP posts:

44PumpLane · 19/09/2018 20:18

I have 2 phones, one work and one my actual phone. I often have them both on me

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 19/09/2018 20:21

I don't know who he works for but my work are really strict about what we can use our work phones for. No non work related photos, no apps, they don't even like us listening to music. I'd do anything personal on my own phone and keep my other strictly for work.

sadiesnakes · 19/09/2018 20:23

Ignore the pro porners, If he's agreed to stay in a relationship where porn is your dealbreaker then that was his decision and going behind your back and being dishonest is betraying your trust in him. I would wait until he comes home and then I would check this history on the old iPhone before you accuse him of anything. He more then likely used private mode, or deleted history if he has any sense but you can still check sites visited in advanced settings. Also If find my iPhone works for you both as a couple then don't bother defending that here either.. people on here really need to understand that that not all relationships should be the same as their perfect relationships..

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2018 20:24

Just ask him. He's your husband- why wouldn't you just ask?

HidingFromMyKids · 19/09/2018 20:27

My theory isn't great and obviously I'm hoping he's not done anything.

There's only me thinking this way so going on votes it's not likely I'm right I just thought I'd give a possibility.

If he's not that tech savvy he might not know or trust the incognito option. So even if he were to use the ipad it might sync to the phone in the drawer and he grabbed it as an afterthought?

It really could just be your Christmas presents though.

Is there a back story why you jumped to a negative reason?

adaline · 19/09/2018 20:28

Both iphones are work phones so that rules out any idea of using one to do this and the other for that.

Not really. One is a new work phone, the other an old one which presumably he's been allowed to keep. If the new one is an upgrade, it's perfectly feasible that there are apps/games on the old one that can't be used on the newer model.

greenlynx · 19/09/2018 20:38

As most people suggest he probably uses them both for innocent reasons but there is a tiny chance that it’s for watching porn. Maybe leave it until he’s back so you could see his reaction?

DanglyBangly · 19/09/2018 20:38

OP, ignore all the mouth-frothing with regard to Find Friends. People on here go completely mental over it.

Do you have access to his iPad? Why would he just not use that to watch porn?

WhiteDust · 19/09/2018 20:48

Again I repeat he does not use 2 phones.
He obviously does OP.
IMHExperience you cannot control what another person does or doesn't do. If his actions or behaviour go against how you want to live your life (re. Porn etc) you can choose to go with it or part.
FWIW, I hate porn. I wouldn't choose to be with someone who buys into that.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 19/09/2018 20:58

My work is currently replacing all iphones with better ones, and they're also locking them down completely. You used to be able to use them for basically anything, now it's work only.

So I guess there's an outside chance they've done this and allowed him to keep the old one for 'personal' stuff, (even Safari is blocked) although texts and calls from a work phone would be ok.

Odd they allowed him to keep it though. Don't they want to try and recoup any costs?

YOu need to ask him.

Fortysix · 19/09/2018 21:10

Does he play Candy Crush? Two iPhones doubles his lives and iPad too..

Pollaidh · 19/09/2018 21:11

We have a work smart phone, and due to security risks it's getting locked down to the point of being absolutely useless - only specific permitted work apps, can't use even LinkedIn, WhatsApp etc. I have a personal phone so that I can use all the apps I need (and don't have to see work emails all the time). DH is the same. We are allowed to buy old work phones very cheaply when we change over. There have been times when we've had 3, keeping one knowing that a family member will need one, or that our personal phone is on its last legs.

Sassy306 · 19/09/2018 21:30

Is it possible he has sold the phone maybe on ebay or is planning to sell it... or maybe lend it to a friend or colleague whose phone is broken?

someonekillbabyshark · 19/09/2018 21:58

So you don't like him watching porn because it exploits other women ? Maybe he just wants to watch porn and feels safe if he does it on the other phone ? If you can see exactly we're he is I doubt he's cheating on you, if you give him crap for watching porn I don't think he would of found a possibility to find another woman and tell her to meet him at the hotel ??

Original poster

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 22:04

Someone As I’ve said ( repeatedly 😒) Porn is a deal breaker for me. He knows this in a 20 + year relationship.
Maybe he does want to watch porn on this other phone. But he knows my feelings on it. Sorry I’m not so cool as to accept that my husband likes watching other women fucking. But I’m not. So shoot me 😒

OP posts:

someonekillbabyshark · 20/09/2018 08:57

@Feelsick18 luckily for me my DH isn't interested in porn at all it doesn't do anything for him so please don't feel I'm judging your views because iv never been in the situation. I think you need to talk to him face to face when he gets home. I know I'd be extremely paranoid in your situation but I think it's a lot easier to lie over the phone

cazzyg · 20/09/2018 09:00

I have 2 phones. 1 personal and one work.

I keep them separate so I can switch the work one off at weekends, holidays etc.

MsHomeSlice · 20/09/2018 09:18

i don't understand how this works, surely if he has a new phone with the same number then the old phone is defunct, as the number went to the new phone and the old one won't be working unless he has a new sim for it

and if he has a new sim for it how is that on appearing on the OP's find friends, surely it would be incommunicado with th ecurrent set up as it's effectively a different device??

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