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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why would he need 2 iPhones ??!

112 replies

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 18:14

NC for this. ‘Dh’ works away most of the week. He recently got a new company iPhone, but kept his old one.
I use find my iPhone app while he’s away to see if he’s back from the office in his hotel room so I know it’s a good time to call most evenings. I noticed tonight that not only has he got his new iPhone and I pad away with him, but his old iPhone too... and it’s online... why would he need it?? I’ve got a horrible feeling in my gut....

OP posts:
Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 19:03

The find my I phone thing works for us, we’ve used it for years with no issues!
Quite often he’s using his driving time to make work calls so could call me if he was in a jam so he told me to track his progress on it! I have total trust in him which is why I’m so disturbed at him taking this phone away with him for no reason. It’s his old phone. It’s never used. No separate work/ personal numbers.

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 19/09/2018 19:04

Whats your hunch what do you think is going on

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 19:05

It’s the same number and has been for years, used for both personal and work calls/emails.

My hunch? It’s porn. Again Sad

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts · 19/09/2018 19:06

I have a work iPhone and a personal iPhone. I like to keep everything separate. Don't want to give out my person number to for work and even more, I don't want to only have a work phone, and receive work calls when I'm on annual leave.

Plus, on my work phone, I'm only allowed to look and certain sites. And looking at porn for example on work phone would be gross misconduct. Etc.

TheGateauIsInTheChateau · 19/09/2018 19:06

I think you’re overreacting. Using Find my phone just to see if you can call is weird IMO, just text and ask if it’s a convenient time?!

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 19:09

He asks me to use the app to see where he is!!! I’m not some weird stalking wife!!

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 19/09/2018 19:12

Intuition is a big deal,and you have a hunch.presumably you know the signs/triggers

Amanduh · 19/09/2018 19:13

You wouldn’t suddenly start using a ‘personal’ phone for personal texts and calls etc without telling your wife and just happen to suddenly take an old phone away with you though. Especially when you’ve already been using your other phone for months. It is weird op.

gimeallthecake · 19/09/2018 19:13

May I ask why watching porn is such an issue for you?

RustyBear · 19/09/2018 19:15

@HopefullyAnonymous - no, a phone doesn’t have to have a SIM card in to be found by Find My iPhone - I kept my old phone, transferred the card to my new one and use the old one as an iPod. Find my iPhone still finds it, as long as it’s on Wi-fi.

musmusculus · 19/09/2018 19:16

I think you're massively overthinking this.
Are they the same model? I'm an iphone SE user and my work upgraded me to a 6s or plus or something which I just didn't like using.

I also ALWAYS kept my other phone despite having a work phone for 10 years, in case of emergency, in case one ran out of battery, one for personal emails one for work. There are 3 dozen reasons why he would keep the old phone.

RustyBear · 19/09/2018 19:17

Also my old iPhone is still on iOS10, because there are a lot of apps I still use that won’t work on iOS11, so it’s useful to keep it.

someonekillbabyshark · 19/09/2018 19:18

Why is Porn such a huge problem ? Would
You not him be open with you about using porn when he's away than him feeling the need to lie and hide it equally this problem right now

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 19:20

Re porn, where do you want me to start?! There’s enough threads on here about the porn industry and the exploitation of women. I don’t think I really need to qualify my dislike of the industry for many reasons.

OP posts:
Rayn · 19/09/2018 19:22

Hi! With things like this rather than speculating could you phone him and ask him outright? If not you are gonna stew on it! Xx

whoareyou123 · 19/09/2018 19:22

Bit confused why he would take an iPhone with him to watch porn on when he has an iPad with him?

Theweasleytwins · 19/09/2018 19:27

I have a samsung j5 and a iphone 5.
For ages my samsung couldnt have mumsnet😮so used my iphone as a special mumsnet phone.

Also can only message my mum through my iphone as we imessage or whatever its called. She doesnt have fb so its the only way to contact her 😊

CoffeeShortbread · 19/09/2018 19:28

DS has a work phone and a personal phone. He still has his personal one because he would need to pay to get out of his contract so just decided to keep it going. Plus, he was worried about taking the pee with personal use (he is in a junior role). He definitely isn’t cheating, he hasn’t got anyone to cheat on!

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/09/2018 19:33

We use find my iPhone a lot as a couple

'As a couple', but it only seems to be you tracking where he is.

And it seems to be adding quite a layer of stress to your life, what with knowing exactly which devices he's taken away with, and which are currently online.

Is he aware that you're tracking him to quite this extent?

I'd hate that, if I were him. And I certainly would have better things to do re DH who also travels a fair bit.

PattiStanger · 19/09/2018 19:35

Why are people talking about a personal phone v a work phone? My reading of the OPs posts is that this is old work phone v new work phone so no separation of personal stuff.

If he wanted to watch porn why does he need a second phone, he can use the private browser on the new phone.

I still carry my old phone as well as my new one as it has things I've downloaded, podcasts/seriesn and it's less hassle for me to have 2 phones than work out how to transfer them, could it be that?

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 19:53

Oh FFS, how many times do I have to repeat he asks me to use find my iPhone?? Hmm
I’m not a mad stalking wife. He ASKS me to use it to see where he is. If he’s still in the office I know not to FaceTime with the kids as it’s not appropriate. If he’s driving home ( can take 4 hrs on a Friday) I know approximately what time he’ll be back so as to put the kids to bed or not. That’s all I use it for. At his request !! 🙈

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 19/09/2018 19:56

I get that, but if it's just to see where he is, why are you tracking all three devices? And is it actually helping?

DH just calls us when he's free. Seems a lot simpler.

Hersetta427 · 19/09/2018 19:58

I have had two phones for years - I am not having an affair. One is purely for work and at the weekend if I want to completely disconnect I leave it at home when we are out and just take my phone which I have not linked to my work email etc. Plenty of people have two phones.

Feelsick18 · 19/09/2018 20:00

All 3 devices pop up when I go on the app! I'm not actively searching all 3 of them.

OP posts:
Popc0rn · 19/09/2018 20:01

I still think using find my iPhone for that is odd, if my partner suggested using it for that purpose to me, I'd reply "no way, I'm not checking that every 15 mins to know where you are, you can just send me a 10 second text instead".

Also, probably will get flamed for this, but I don't think you can dictate to him that he can't watch porn because you don't agree with it.

Also find it odd that you started this thread, instead of just ringing him and asking him why he still has his old phone, doesn't seem like you trust him much.

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