To think our parents were all negligent?

[hooveringhamabeads]

(Lighthearted)

By today’s standards at least?

Inspired by some of the threads I’ve read this week, about 7 year olds playing out alone, or a baby being left for 5 mins while the Mum goes to the shop, I’ve been thinking about my own childhood and some of the (perfectly normal for then) stuff that happened. For context, I was born in the early 80s.

As babies, car seats weren’t a thing, so we’d be put in the carrycot on the back seat. My DM says that if we were asleep when we got to town, she’d leave us in the car, lock it and go and do her shopping.

We had a Subaru van with no seats in the back, and my brother and I would sit in the back, each on a wheel arch, and we’d love it because we’d get flung around the back as we were travelling along, which we found hilarious.

If we were on holiday at Butlins my parents would use the ‘baby listening service’ while they went out of an evening, which consisted of one person patrolling the massive site and putting their ear to the relevant doors to see if anyone was crying. What they did if there was I have no idea as no one had mobiles then.

My friend who’s DCs are now 24 and 28 used to leave her kids alone when holidaying abroad when they went out at night. But they’d leave a shoe in the door so that the kids weren’t shut in if there was a fire .

It’s a miracle we all survived

Haha I’ve just remembered my mum used to leave us in the early learning centre too. They were asking for it really with that nice brio train track on a table

Born 81, never in a car seat, infact my nephew in 1995 was still in the back seat in a carrycot with seatbelt around it. Never being allowed treats and had to watch my bitch mother scoff a box of chocs to herself at the weekend. If she ever allowed us any it would be the ones she didnt like. Having to share one bottle of juice between 5 of us. Being sent to the shop for all the neighbours as soon as we could walk and talk and not getting a penng for doing it.

Cleaning all my dads golf clubs for 50p or nothing depending on his mood, same for car washing.

Freedom to go where i wanted and no mobile phones to track us down.

Today my 10year old DN is allowed to walk to school alone and im like, oh is that safe?

Our record was 8 in the boot of a car. Wasn’t our car but my friend’s parents. We thought it was hilarious.

80’s child as well- we (me and my sis) walked back from school from around 6 years of age (admittedly not that far) and would occasionally be left alone - on one such occasion we decided to play with matches and took great delight in burning the frayed ends of a towel that was drying in the kitchen. Another time we decided to surprise parents by making a cake- we didnt know the recipe so used gas cooker to make some inedible pancakes.
Then we moved and our school was on the other side of the railway which meant more often than not our walk to school involved crawling under/climbing over stationary freight trains to get to the other side (this was not in uk and there was no electric rail, the only danger was if the train started to move).
Not negligent, just different:)

I'd like to point out - Front seat belts were compulsory equipment on all new cars registered in the UK from 1972, although it did not become compulsory for them to be worn until 1983. Rear seat belts were compulsory equipment from 1986 and became compulsory for them to be worn in 1991. However, it has never been a legal requirement for cars registered before those dates to be fitted with seat belts.

I'm another one who would be stowed on a bed in the boot whilst we travelled over night to out holiday destination.

Occasionally left at home when mum went shopping

Walked to and from school aged 5, also came home for lunch.

There simply weren't the volume of cars so we played out safely. There were 3 cars in my road when my parents moved in in 1966, that same road now has no front gardens and 3 cars to a house, so you can barely drive down the road.

Everyone smoked, it was glamourous. The King smoked! Princess Margaret smoked! Parents, aunts uncles, friends all smoked indoors, round children in cars, at work, on the buses and trains.

Helicopter parents didnt exist and bubble wrapping hadn't been invented.

We had respect, we didn't back chat our parents, teachers, police or elders. The world was nicer place. People had time for each other.

I think the biggest difference was we did what we were told. There was no back chat, because there would be consequences. We didn't push boundaries in the same way, no meant no. Consequently if we were told not to eg swim in river because the current was fast, we didn't swim in that river, we respected our elders actually knew what they were talking about.

Thanks for that info macosie. It remember when rear seatbelts became law my dad would piously say ‘clunk click, every trip’ whenever we got in the car, and me and my brother would moan like a pair of bastards about it. Felt so restrictive after 10 year of being free range in the back.

I was born in 1976 and my parents were particularly strict/overprotective of us, much to my dismay as a child. But they allowed us a lot more freedom than my children have in many ways, and I think I'm pretty laid back compared to most parents these days.

I still experienced:

• Playing out unsupervised on my bike, though I wasn't allowed beyond our street and the couple of streets next to us, unlike my neighbours' kids.

• Being left at home alone all day when ill, from the age of 8. My Dad would nip home at lunchtime if he could, but often couldn't. My mum would phone from work every couple of hours, and if anyone rang I was told to say she'd 'just nipped out to the shop' then call her at work. I remember my headteacher ringing twice once as she'd been in a meeting and unable to phone him back when she 'got back from the corner shop' - I knew it sounded dodgy and she was in a real panic ringing him back asap!

• 10 kids crammed into a car for school trips/birthday parties/brownies.

• No car seat, though my little sister had one when she was a baby. I was just put on the back seat in my carrycot then sat on a cushion. No seat belts in the back of my Grandad's car, and he'd never taken a driving test, having learned in the army. You could tell!

• Getting the bus to school and back by myself, aged 8. I had to take my 5yo sister with me. My friends were allowed much sooner than I was though.

• No suncream on me ever, as I went 'a lovely colour' in the sun. Same went for my sister, even though she burns in winter! She'd get terrible blisters and had half her skin peeling off every time we went on holiday

• Had to make cups of tea for adults from age 5/6. I remember a charity challenge with Brownies where we had to make adults cups of tea for 20p and they'd fill in a card rating our efforts. Normal then, I wouldn't allow my 6yo to use a kettle though!

• Selling 'Sunny Smiles' pictures for Sunday School. Booklets with photos of unfortunate orphans, kids in care and disabled children (names and terrible life history included) - you'd choose a photo and buy it with the money going to the church! The cute baby pictures sold out first, my Gran would buy the ones she thought looked most unfortunate as she felt sorry for them . Can you imagine that happening now, with current safeguarding procedures?

I'm glad in many ways that child safety i taken more seriously now. A girl in my class lost a finger due to burning it on a 3 bar fire. A boy had terrible scars from a scald all down his arm. One lad died in a car crash with no seat belt on and another was run over by a bus, out playing after dark with no street lights/road crossing. But I do wish I could let me kids enjoy more freedom without being universally condemned by those who wrap their kids in bubble wrap. I do allow my kids more freedom of thought though - I was never allowed to express a dissenting thought or disagree with anything without being told I was a terrible person and being punished. My kids are allowed to actually think critically and debate things with me!

Just remembered we did have a young boy knock on our door one evening, saying he thought a man was following him - so that advice must have been fairly common. My Dad drove him home (alone) and had a word with his Mum, don't think any police were ever involved.

My sister just reminded me that my Grandmother still worked as a cleaner until she was 78. When we stayed in the holidays, she'd just leave us in bed asleep when she went out to work at 5.30am. We were usually still fast asleep when she returned at 8ish, but we were locked in and she had no landline - good job the house didn't catch fire. That was from 3/4 years old.

@hooveringhamabeads yes! My mum would pop me in the ELC playing with the Brio and go and do her shopping all around town!