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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Wellfuckmeinbothears · 04/10/2018 10:30

Morning @booandbump. Hope you’re feeling ok, not long till Sunday now. Will be thinking of you x

mummyhaschangedhername · 04/10/2018 11:11

Hope you're doing ok OP. Thinking of you. Did I miss if it was going to be induction or c section?

Sallystyle · 04/10/2018 11:25

Sending you lots of love Thanks Thanks

Original poster
booandbumpp · 04/10/2018 11:36

@mummyhaschangedhername I'm going to be induced - hopefully on Sunday if there's a bed and a cardiac cot - but they're going to keep me on close monitoring and will schedule a c section at the first sign of any distress. I'll be having an epidural just in case x

OP posts:
mummyhaschangedhername · 04/10/2018 12:12

Wishing you all the best for Sunday, hoping all goes smoothly.

Lovethetimeyouhave · 04/10/2018 15:44

This is so touching! I wish you all the best xx

anniehm · 04/10/2018 16:27

A friend of mine's son was born with this condition, he had two or three surgeries in his first weeks of life, the first being within 24 hours. He is 11 now and has had a heart transplant, that has its own set of problems of course but their doctors are hopeful for a much increased life expectancy. I can't really comprehend what you are going through but know lots of people are thinking about you through these difficult times.

oldgimmer78 · 04/10/2018 17:46

Please keep us updated OP, will be thinking of you on Sunday xxx

Crunchymum · 04/10/2018 18:02

I've just been catching up OP, and I confess to having a sneaky little sob.

I know you don't want nor need pity from strangers, but I'm not crying because I feel pity. I am crying because I feel your strength and your love and your positivity.

When faced with such adversity, the things you can and will do for your baby, will astound you.

Sending you lots of love and courage for the weekend OP.

JLG19 · 04/10/2018 18:12

booandbumpp I’ve just read your updates from the past few days. The post about what you hope for made me cry Flowers you are a very brave woman, and a brilliant mum.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I imagine you have some very mixed feelings as Sunday approaches.

Sending love to you and your family Flowers

PeakTrans · 04/10/2018 19:58

Another sending you love & strength

NameWithChange · 04/10/2018 22:00

I think you are amazing. I really do. The way you write is quite breathtaking. I am praying for a miracle for you and your baby boy. Xxx

HugoBearsMummy · 04/10/2018 22:07

Flowers for you OP. Sorry you are going through this. Good luck for your induction. We will all pray for the very best outcome for you and your little one. Xx

ANewHope18 · 04/10/2018 22:13

Thinking of you. Sending love and strength x

Bisquick · 04/10/2018 22:39

Sending you and your little boy (and partner) so much love and strength! I hope the birth goes well and you get to see him safe and sound, and he goes on to have a strong happy long life.

greaselightnin · 04/10/2018 23:01

Thinking of you OP. Love and prayers are with you and your partner xx

mistermagpie · 04/10/2018 23:13

I've just read the whole thread, I don't know what to say but you and your son are in my thoughts tonight. Wishing you both strength and courage for what lies ahead. Thanks

Puddingmama2017 · 04/10/2018 23:48

Just read this through and been in tears on the train home. OP, your strength shines through your posts, you and your son are in my thoughts.

Lndnmummy · 05/10/2018 02:23

@booandbump. Sending you all the cyber love and strength. You sound so loving, your post touched my heart in a way nothing else has for a very long time.

Snowdog37 · 05/10/2018 02:40

Sending you so much love and strength. My son is a NICU graduate and has cardiac issues. Not as severe as your sweet boy, but enough that things were very scary for a while and at first I was scared to look at him and fall in love with him in case things went wrong. I don’t take anything for granted. Every laugh, smile, cuddle is precious. Even being annoyed at the constant 4am wakings is precious. He’s 8 months old next week. I pray that your sweet boy gets to experience many, many years of all the love that you’ll surround him with. And I hope you have lots of love and support too through all this. NICU time is hard emotionally. I’ll be thinking of you all on Sunday.

Cantchooseaname · 05/10/2018 02:48

What an amazing little family you will be. I admire your strength, and your wise words about what is important have helped me put some life things in perspective.
Wishing you every luck in the world for the weekend.

blackcat86 · 05/10/2018 03:35

OP I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My LO had various issues after birth and spent a lot of time in special care. People didn't understand the constant terror and impact on all of us. I didn't to outside for a week because I couldn't leave her, I didn't sleep for 3 days so I could express every drop of colostrum I had. My heart goes out to you. I would say that if you end up having a c section don't be disheartened. I was in the same boat and was due to be induced by LO flipped to breach at the last minute. I was upset as I wanted things to still be as natural as possible but the c section was much better managed with all the specialists she needed in the room. We wouldn't have had that with an induction. All I would all is that the skin to skin time is precious but if baby is small (My LO was 5lb 1oz at 38 weeks) ask for him to be swaddled well as soon as possible. My baby had hypothermia 3 hours after birth and having explored all options the consultant said all that was left was to consider that the delivery room may have been too cold and that she wasn't wrapped properly crashing her body temp. I don't want to add to your worries but I hope the info is useful as other things she needed were delayed whilst they warmed her up under a heat lamp.

Catnut · 05/10/2018 04:36

Thinking of you and sending love Thanks

Original poster
booandbumpp · 05/10/2018 12:34

Thank you for all the support and thoughts. I have been noting the advice from people who have experienced NICU and definitely will be taking some of that on board with me.
I am going to re write my "hope" post in a book my mum got for me to write in for him. It's a scrap book so big enough to stick all his pictures in and for me to write in. Hopefully it will keep me sane while I'm in the hospital.
Thank you for all the luck. Trying to enjoy the few days before D-day by sleeping in as much as possible and seeing my family - in between still being sick.
Will keep posting updates where I can. It is good to get it out I think and I really do appreciate the support x

OP posts:
JLG19 · 05/10/2018 17:51

Make the most of these days, you may not get much rest in the weeks/months to come! Brew