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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Malbecfan · 16/10/2018 18:26

Many congratulations! He is just gorgeous. Keep doing what you are and remember the MN army is behind you xxx

dollyknocker · 16/10/2018 18:41

Oh Teddy is just gorgeous. Sending you a heap of love and best wishes xxxx

minmooch · 16/10/2018 19:00

I am another who has been reading your thread. Teddy is absolutely gorgeous. I'm so glad that the health team all feel confident to leave surgery until he is a little bigger. How wonderful to finally meet your son. I know you have a tricky road ahead of you all but you are simply amazing. I hope you have much time with Teddy ahead of you xxx

bexcee · 16/10/2018 19:04

Absolutely perfect! What a gorgeous baby you have made.

Hmmingbird · 16/10/2018 19:04

Such a gorgeous little boy, congratulations and well done for being so amazing with all this on your plate.

Glad to hear he's got an octopus! I am part of the group who make them so it's always a pleasure to hear when someone has one 

MulticolourMophead · 16/10/2018 19:15

He is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations. Thanks

Best wishes to you and your DP too, and I hope you both get plenty of RL support.

Was Teddy actually born on the 14th? Such a good day for a birthday Wink

LelouchviBritanniacommandsyou · 16/10/2018 19:21

Congratulations! Teddy is gorgeous! I'm glad he's doing well :)

user1471457757 · 16/10/2018 19:29

He's gorgeous! Well done for trying to breastfeed. Colostrum is liquid gold and newborn tummies are very small so don't worry that you're not expressing enough for him as they only need a very small amount to fill themselves up.

peachgreen · 16/10/2018 19:31

Those eyes are just gorgeous! He's an old soul I reckon. What a darling. 

Rainbowtrain · 16/10/2018 19:32

My goodness Teddy you are the most perfect little human and you have taken all of our hearts already 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Your mum is the bravest mum and you are so loved already by people that you will never even know!

flamingtoaster · 16/10/2018 19:45

Congratulations - Teddy is adorable. Glad you are having cuddles with him and that he is stable. Wishing you stable nights and all the best on this journey.

Blackberry10 · 16/10/2018 20:05

He is gorgeous welcome to the world teddy, you are one amazing lady. Congratulations Flowers

PeonyTruffle · 16/10/2018 20:14

Oh look at him 😍
Absolutely beautiful boy OP

JellyBears · 16/10/2018 20:49

He’s got beautiful eyes, gorgeous boy.

ellendegeneres · 16/10/2018 20:52

Oh wow
Congratulations! He is simply amazing!! 😍😍

2018SoFarSoGreat · 16/10/2018 21:01

well Mr. Teddy looks like he knows what's what, doesn't he? What a wise little fellow he is. Those eyes! Big and yes, they could well be brown. My DS's looked a lot like that, and are dark brown.

He does seem to be comfortable and happy, and it sounds like they feel he will do well with waiting. Let's hope that is how it turns out. Bigger and stronger is always better.

Now you have to take care of your recovery as well, and your sore breasts. You poor thing, Boo. But, it does get easier. It does. not that I'd know. I could only ever express about 1oz, no matter how hard I tried. Then I would manage to spill it, somehow or other. Made me so mad!

You are doing so very well and are a Star

Quantumblue · 16/10/2018 21:07

Oh your son is seriously beautiful! I know the road ahead is hard but I hope you can get some rest and enjoy the high of touching and gazing at him.

eggofmantumbi · 16/10/2018 21:13

Ooh wow! OP I read your first post and didn't get back for an update until I see that picture. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Xxx

OVienna · 16/10/2018 21:21

Beautiful bliss of a baby! Welcome to the world you lovely! OP - all the very best.

Canshopwillshop · 16/10/2018 21:26

Those eyes! He is very beautiful. I wish you all the very best for the future.

Puddingmama2017 · 16/10/2018 21:32

What a beautiful little darling. Definitely an old soul!

OddestSock · 16/10/2018 21:33

Congratulations on your lovely little boy!

LittleMia · 16/10/2018 21:37

So happy to hear that things are good and stable. He's a smasher!! While you wait for that weight gain, keep enjoying all the cuddles you can.

Sending strength and love xx

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 16/10/2018 21:38

What a gorgeous little boy and it's so lovely that he has been able to have cuddles from so many special people. He has an amazing family and he clearly has his mum's strength of character

Knitwit101 · 16/10/2018 21:50

He's so wrinkly, he's gorgeous. One of mine had a wrinkly old man forehead when he was new. I'd forgotten it.

I also make octopuses (octopi?) for our local hospital. I like to hear of babies actually using them.

Do you feel it's good that he can wait a bit for surgery? If he had been the most severe case would they have had to do it straight away regardless of his weight? It seems like a positive thing to me but what do I know?

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