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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*

999 replies

booandbumpp · 18/09/2018 07:52

Can someone please tell me what to do? Posting here for traffic.
I am 34 weeks pregnant - complicated pregnancy, baby has a severe CHD called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, and will need a surgery in the first week of life.
I also have high pressure in the placenta and am on weekly monitoring for that. Baby is measuring small due to this and I need to be induced early - at 37 weeks - if the pressure stays high, which it has consistently been for the last 5 weeks.
Baby will be borderline "big" enough for the surgery if born at 37 weeks. Can't keep him in longer, can't delay surgery, otherwise he will definitely die. Nothing I can do to help with the pressure in the placenta.
I've had reduced movement yesterday and today. He's never been the most active baby, but yesterday and today I've barely felt him. FMU consultant told me to watch out for this due to the pressure in placenta possibly getting higher and there being no forward flow of blood to baby.
I haven't yet - partly because I'm having two scans tomorrow - one with cardiologist, one with FMU consultants anyway, so I'll get answers then. Partly because I'm selfish - I'm scared, I don't want to miss another day of work, I don't want to drag my partner out of work to sit next to me for 4 hours at a maternity hospital.
And also because honestly what can they do? They induce me now because my placenta won't work properly, he'll still die because he won't be able to have surgery. They leave him in there with negative flow, he'll die, or stop growing.
I'm not crying, I'm barely upset, I'm just stuck. I feel so annoyed at myself for not being able to make a decision, but I guess thats because I feel like no matter what decision I make, its the same outcome.
SO, sorry that was longer than I expected. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
mommybear1 · 15/10/2018 11:31

What a beauty thinking of you OPThanks

DragonboysMum · 15/10/2018 11:50

Oh Boo, congratulations!! He is the most beautiful boy! (And you chose a fab name - I have a Teddy too!) I wish you all nothing but the very best and send strength and love to you all. You have shown such strength and courage, he has the very best Mummy a boy could hope for.

Teddy, you have so many people rooting for you. You and your family have touched many hearts. Enjoy all those lovely cuddles with Mummy and Daddy 💕

Kittykat93 · 15/10/2018 11:50

What a beautiful baby Thanks

drspouse · 15/10/2018 12:04

What a lovely baby, read the whole thread last night and so pleased to see him here.

Schuyler · 15/10/2018 13:02

Oh what a cutie pie. :) Congratulations to you all.
Hope he is doing as well as can be and hope you are too. Flowers
I adore his name, it’s actually really suits him, perfect!

Wait4nothing · 15/10/2018 17:15

Congrats on little teddy! Lots of kind wishes for the coming days and weeks, sending hope

Original poster
booandbumpp · 15/10/2018 17:23

Hello! Thank you for all the responses. I have been reading them and the congratulations and well wishes are lovely to read and keep me positive. I think someone asked his weigh: he was very diddly at 2.2kg so smaller than estimated at scan.
I've had a few messages offering to send us things, and a comment on here to send us home made things. These are absolutely gorgeous thoughts and I really appreciate every offer. Truly I can't believe how generous you are. To be honest, at the moment we have everything we need. The neonatal team put together a lovely box for us of donated items, like a blanket, a knitted patch for us to sleep with and swap with him, a diary, a little octopus 🐙 and a string and beads with his name and a diary for us to log what he's had done and we collect different beads for each thing (e.g. an orange bead for a line or cannula - so we have 4 orange beads). It's a lovely pretty visual diary for him.
So if you wanted to send us anything - and seriously, thank you so much for the offer I really do appreciate it - , can I ask you to send it to your local NICU so that they can add it to their boxes instead? It really was a lovely package to receive and I know it's made up of charity and individual donations.
Just a quick update with regards to little Teddy Bear. He had a stable night. His O2 sats are a little high at 100. This sounds good in theory but could mean that the heart isn't pumping to his body effectively and just pumping to the lungs if the lungs have low pressure. So they're watching out for that and may intubate him if necessary. He had another scan of his little heart this morning. The cardiologist did it but said at the end it was for monitoring and there were no updates until discussion tomorrow. I had to bite my tongue for an hour while he went through the scan for wanting to ask all the questions in my head.
I have been expressing - it's a slow game. In two sessions I've managed to get 1.25 ml. Teddy is nil by mouth until they decide which surgery he sound get but I did get to feed him 0.5ml through the syringe for mouth care which was nice.
They are talking about moving him from Intensive Care to High Dependancy, which is good news. This might depend on surgery and care plans for surgery.
Teddy got to meet all grandparents, and another uncle which was lovey (though my parents are a bit scared to hold him for his tiny and wirey-ness. Can't say I blame them, I am too!).
As for me - I'm heeding everyone's advice and taking care of myself. I'm making sure I leave NICU for meal times, and also managed to sleep for 6 hours last night which was good. The hospital also got my DP a bed so he got similar.
Thank you for everyone's response to this thread it is really lovely. I'm thinking of starting to blog about this for myself as this thread has reminded me how good it is to talk about this lows and the highs to get through. If I do I'll be sure to post a link.
Much love to everyone. I can feel all the crossed fingers and the hand holds in my heart xxx

AIBU to not go to midwife regarding reduced movement? *Poss TW?*
OP posts:
mummyhaschangedhername · 15/10/2018 17:26

He's gorgeous. Thanks for the update. I hope for good news tomorrow. Take care of yourself x

meow1989 · 15/10/2018 17:27

Hi @booandbumpp, I've been lurking but not commented since you started, just wanted to send best wishes and say I'm glad you and your little one are doing well ❤️

elliejjtiny · 15/10/2018 17:32

Thankyou for updating us OP. My little boy has those beads of courage (he is a nicu graduate with hydrocephalus and some other issues). He's 5 years old now and got about 500 beads.

peachgreen · 15/10/2018 17:39

Thank you so much for updating Boo. I've been thinking about you guys all day. You're doing so amazingly well and so is lovely Teddy Thanks

2018SoFarSoGreat · 15/10/2018 17:40

thanks for this lovely update, and for the picture. That boy is just so lovely. So teensy - his size really shows next to your fingers. I love the idea of a box item donation for a local NICU. I'm starting a blanket now, and shall make it with love, for Teddy and all the little Teddies who may need it. Such a great idea, thank you, Boo.

Glad to hear you are getting some rest, and eating. Keep at it.

Sending strength, and Flowers

Wonkydonkey44 · 15/10/2018 17:47

Congratulations on the birth of Teddy . Xx

Original poster
booandbumpp · 15/10/2018 17:49

@NanooCov the midwife had to milk me too! That was fun. Hopefully I will get the hang of it!
@2018SoFarSoGreat that's lovely - thank you! I will still think of it as a present to Teddy SmileBear xxx

OP posts:
JLG19 · 15/10/2018 17:56

Thanks for the update, and the picture! He really is very tiny but just perfect. I love his hat (it matches the top my DS is wearing right now!) I’m glad he is doing well. Keeping my fingers crossed for positive steps forward after the Dr’s discussion tomorrow.

PotteringAlong · 15/10/2018 18:28

Gorgeous picture and fab update Flowers Bear

Iizzyb · 15/10/2018 18:33

Lovely to get an update and more pics Boo he is just lovely. I would love to make a blanket or a hat but I am hopeless so as one of our pta mums is a midwife at Jimmy's I'll ask her what I could usefully buy for a box for another baby Thanks hope you get another good sleep & stick with the expressing I think it will get easier xx

RollaBowlaBall · 15/10/2018 18:53

Massive congratulations! Xx

RainbowsArePretty · 15/10/2018 19:04

Wonderful update! Good luck for your next meeting with the consultant

Puddingmama2017 · 15/10/2018 19:10

You’ve got me in tears Boo, he’s absolutely gorgeous, and you are a complete inspiration. Seriously, you’re incredible and little Teddy is the luckiest little boy to have you as his mummy. Sending so much love and good thoughts to you and him.

How’s your DP doing?

yawning801 · 15/10/2018 19:22

Sending all the goodness in the world to Boo, Boo's family and of course little Teddy! Congratulations!

Original poster
booandbumpp · 15/10/2018 19:27

@Puddingmama2017 DP is ok - he's scared and scared of doing the wrong thing and I've had to sit down with him and say that this is a scary thing to be going through so being scared is natural and that we can't know the right thing to do and that's why we've got so many people around us to help.
And then I had to remind myself too.
We're very much leaning on each other to get through x

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 15/10/2018 19:50

You are bloody awesome!! Your little boy is awesome - what a team. Thankyou for updating us Bear

Dhapeer · 15/10/2018 19:56

He is an absolutely beautiful child. Wishing you the strength you all need. x

Puddingmama2017 · 15/10/2018 19:59

Oh bless you both. In no way can I imagine just what you’re going through but my DS has Down Syndrome and I remember the scary days when he was just born and you wonder what on earth you’re meant to do and when do you do it. It gets easier but that fear for an uncertain future never really goes away. I wish I’d let myself enjoy those first few days a little more.