About sleeping arrangements on family holiday?

[PurpleMac]

Will try to keep this simple!

Large holiday home booked for a week. three double bedrooms, one twin bedroom, one travel cot.

Originally there would have been one childless couple, then two couples who each have an 8yo and 2yo. Plan was for the 8yos to share a room, then we would bring an extra travel cot so the 2yos each have one and sleep in their parents rooms.

However one of the couple's has now split up, meaning the 8yo stepchild is also not coming.

So we have three doubles:

1. couple with no children
2. DH and I
3. single adult (let's call him Alex)

There's also a twin bedroom that our DS(8) will sleep in.

There's now some conflict over where both of the 2yos will sleep. Both have had a growth spurt in recent weeks and are too long to fit comfortably in travelcots. The other 2yo is bigger and older than our 2yo and has started sleeping in a bed at home, our 2yo is still in his cot but we are taking the side down this week. Holiday is in a month.

Both Alex and the other couple think that Alex's son should share the twin room with our DS(8) and we put DS(2) in with us in a Travel cot he won't be comfortable in. DH and I think our DS(2) should share the twin with DS(8), whilst the other 2yo can sleep in the double bed with his dad for the week.

There are two reasons for this:
Firstly, DS(2) won't be comfortable in the Travel cot and will end up coming in with DH and I anyway, meaning three of us in a double bed whilst Alex gets a double to himself every night.
Secondly, Alex's 2yo son is a bad sleeper. Wakes up at 5am every morning, and absolutely adores our DS(8) so if they are sharing a room together he will absolutely wake our DS up every morning wanting to play. He's a young 2 and won't really understand/remember if he is told the night before not to do this. Both of our DSs sleep through til 7 so wouldn't be an issue if they share, and if our younger DS did wake up early I would hear him and go get him- I'm not confident Alex would do this with his son and not sure DS(8) would be comfortable enough going to wake Alex up to let him know his son is awake.

Totally willing to hear IABU or precious if that is the case, it just doesn't seem fair to me.

I'll compromise by bringing a readybed for DS(2). Doesn't make a jot of difference though if Alex doesn't compromise by having the twin instead of the double. DS(8) will still end up sharing with a 2yo who will wake him early.

mummy - so many arguments over bedrooms? Have you actually read my posts? There have been exactly zero arguments, only a fmpassing comment. I came on here to ask if IABU because if so then I won't raise it as an issue. How is no arguments "so many arguments?". Very confusing.

Personally I'd stick all the kids in together; it might actually teach the 2 year old about sleeping more. If the others get too tired then the agreement should be that Alex and 2 year old then get the twin and your kids go in a double. You're being far too precious about your 8 year old bedsharing with the 2 year old and I don't understand why. I used to bedshare a lot with my sister. It sounds like perhaps one is adopted? Nevertheless they're siblings now and unless one is violent they need to learn to both share and look after each other.
(I also think Alex is being a bit precious not sharing with his baby, I like sharing with my wriggler though mine is younger so it might be different.)

Why can’t you have your 8 year old in your room on the ready bed? Then the two year olds won’t wake him up?

I think you're being unfair to Alex. I often holiday alone with DS (5). At age 2 I would have hated to share a double bed with him as he was a real wiggler. Even now I prefer seperate beds.
In this situation I think Alex and his 2yo should have the twin room and you work out what you're going to do with the two doubles available to your family. Otherwise you may find Alex decides not to come at all, and I assume you'd rather he was there

Can't the 2 year olds just top and tail in one of the single beds? So all three kids in one room.

It's a holiday, sleep is going to be all over the place anyway.

You could put all three kids in the twin room on the understanding that as soon as Alex's son disturbs your kids' sleep he's going straight in the double with his father. No second chances.

purplemac I think it’s a fair assumption from your original post to presume there were arguments as you talk about conflict over the arrangements for the two year olds. If there aren’t arguments (yet), you might want to clarify.

Oh and Alex's son should be in the ready bed, not yours, since Alex is the one choosing to take up two bed spaces instead of one.

I do think my parents are making concessions for Alex because he is a single dad whereas DH and I are obviously together, and he has been going through a rough time. So his sleep is more important because he will be solo-parenting for the week (not true anyway as parents help out a LOT with Alex's 2yo) whereas DH and I will share the load.

But he will have to get up at 5am with his 2 year old son anyway? Regardless of the sleeping arrangements. Your 8 year old isn't going to be getting up 2 hours before his usual waking time to play with/mind a toddler, so the question is also how many other people are going to be avoidably woken at 5am.

It's odd because I'm getting some responses saying that 8yo should just share a double with 2yo, then adults saying they wouldn't want to share for a week with a 2yo. I don't really care if people think it's precious, it's not fair for an 8yo to share a bed with a toddler who will keep him up all night every night for a week by kocking and wriggling. I shared a bed with him for one night last weekend and was up countless times in the night moving him back to the top of the bed as he was basically crawling off the foot of the bed at one point.

My two have both loved their toddler travel bed when they've fit into it. Only issue is when they turn over it can make a noise, they never woke up but we did!
You'll need an extra blanket though, the covers they come with aren't warm enough.

All 3 dc should be in the twin room, with one of them in a readybed on the floor. Alex should have a room to himself.

Alex hasn't paid anything. Grandparents paid as they wanted to be with the grandchildren for the week

Sorry OP I misread.

Could you suggest blow up bed in both parents rooms for 2 yos. And 8 yo gets twin. He won't sleep very well sharing and it sounds like this may be your first family holiday with him in it so want to ensure he feels settled?

Both Alex and the other couple think that Alex's son should share the twin room with our DS(8) and we put DS(2) in with us in a Travel cot he won't be comfortable in. DH and I think our DS(2) should share the twin with DS(8), whilst the other 2yo can sleep in the double bed with his dad for the week.

Why don't your two children share a double bed? And Alex and his 2 yeaar old can have the twin room?

Also you need ot pay 2/4 of the house cost now.

Parents have paid for it all, why should OP suddenly pay?
And OP has already pointed out that no one who shares with a wriggly 2 yo gets any sleep so why is it fair to do that to an 8 yo but not a parent?

But it’s fair for an adult to share with a wriggly two year old? FGS stop being so bloody stubborn and put one of your kids in your room on the temp bed if they really can’t all share. If your son hadn’t had a growth spurt, he’d have been in your room anyway. Your parents, who’ve paid for the whole accommodation have told you the arrangements for your brother and his son. Doesn’t matter if you think this is fair or not, it’s their decision. Either find another solution for your children that doesn’t affect the other parties, or if you’re that worried, don’t go.

OMG, there's no contest here - of course the 2yo should stay in with his Dad in the double bed!
Otherwise, there's a whole half bed going begging while your 2yo gets no sleep in a cot that's too small for him.
Only other option, to make it more "fair" would be if you or your other half go into the twin with your DS, and the other of you sleep in the double bed in your room with your 2yo. That wouldn't be fair on you as a couple, but it would make the situation seem more equal.

Surely as a family you find a solution that makes every one happy not one that involves a 2 yo in a bed they don't fit in and an 8 yo getting no sleep because their cousin is up all night / their Uncle is in and out all night sorting said 2 yo.

t's odd because I'm getting some responses saying that 8yo should just share a double with 2yo, then adults saying they wouldn't want to share for a week with a 2yo.

Because 8 year olds are smaller than adults so it is more comfortable to have a 2 year old and an 8 year old together.

100% Alex and his 2 year old get the twin room.

You and DH have a double.

Your two children have a double and you can either have them share, or take a ready bed / blow up and extra covers and make a nest up for your 2 year old on the floor in the 8 year olds room. The 2 year old would probably love a nest bed.

If you can squeeze a readybed into the twin I would: put all the DC in together.
It may mean that your DS is woken early for a week. It's a different dynamic on holiday and his sleep pattern may well be different anyway.
Don't think or frame it as an imposition: it's an adventure and a bonus that they will all be together. Make it clear though that toddlers come in with parents when they want to: they are more likely to be unsettled than the 8YO.
Ready beds are fab by the way, and as the sleeping bag part is sewn on there is much less opportunity to 'wriggle off' than on a normal mattress.

When we go on holiday with the ILs, they quite often have a child on the floor with them (even though they pay!!) – would the 8yr old like that as a treat?

I get where you are coming from. Alex is being a pain. But, in all honesty I would put the two 2 year olds in the twin and find somewhere else for your 8 year old to sleep.

I’d put your two kids in together if they’re good sleepers-it’s not fair to disturb the 8 year old sleep by making him spend half term with someone else’s two year old who’s a crappy sleeper.

What would your parents/brother say to that? If your brother doesn’t want to share his double with his own child, he can buy a readybed. It makes far more sense for siblings to share.

How about a blow up bed on the floor?

Alex's son will prob sleep better in bed with his dad of course.