About sleeping arrangements on family holiday?

[PurpleMac]

Will try to keep this simple!

Large holiday home booked for a week. three double bedrooms, one twin bedroom, one travel cot.

Originally there would have been one childless couple, then two couples who each have an 8yo and 2yo. Plan was for the 8yos to share a room, then we would bring an extra travel cot so the 2yos each have one and sleep in their parents rooms.

However one of the couple's has now split up, meaning the 8yo stepchild is also not coming.

So we have three doubles:

1. couple with no children
2. DH and I
3. single adult (let's call him Alex)

There's also a twin bedroom that our DS(8) will sleep in.

There's now some conflict over where both of the 2yos will sleep. Both have had a growth spurt in recent weeks and are too long to fit comfortably in travelcots. The other 2yo is bigger and older than our 2yo and has started sleeping in a bed at home, our 2yo is still in his cot but we are taking the side down this week. Holiday is in a month.

Both Alex and the other couple think that Alex's son should share the twin room with our DS(8) and we put DS(2) in with us in a Travel cot he won't be comfortable in. DH and I think our DS(2) should share the twin with DS(8), whilst the other 2yo can sleep in the double bed with his dad for the week.

There are two reasons for this:
Firstly, DS(2) won't be comfortable in the Travel cot and will end up coming in with DH and I anyway, meaning three of us in a double bed whilst Alex gets a double to himself every night.
Secondly, Alex's 2yo son is a bad sleeper. Wakes up at 5am every morning, and absolutely adores our DS(8) so if they are sharing a room together he will absolutely wake our DS up every morning wanting to play. He's a young 2 and won't really understand/remember if he is told the night before not to do this. Both of our DSs sleep through til 7 so wouldn't be an issue if they share, and if our younger DS did wake up early I would hear him and go get him- I'm not confident Alex would do this with his son and not sure DS(8) would be comfortable enough going to wake Alex up to let him know his son is awake.

Totally willing to hear IABU or precious if that is the case, it just doesn't seem fair to me.

Cross post with @FinallyHere!

Hmmm I don't really want my DSs to share a double as DS(2) is a wiggler and really will disturb DS(8) if they share a bed. But I think I've thought of a solution...Alex and his DS have the twin, DH and 8yo have one double, and me and DS(2) have the other double?

I don't think any of the rooms are big enough for blow up beds unfortunately.

I think Alex got to the other couple first.

Do you all get on well together all the time? a week in friends company can be trying at time and if there is already resentment about the sleeping arrangements its not going to be a nice relaxing week.

I don't think the other couple should have any say in the matter despite paying, as they are not the ones having to share with a toddler.

To me your plan makes the most sense, 8 beds, 8 people why should one have to squish into a small box? However if Alex absolutely does refuse to budge on this I'd go with a pp's suggestion of an air bed.

Sounds like everyone is over thinking this. On holiday the kids are usually so tired we just co sleep. I honestly cant see an issue. Id sleep on sofa so kids can have bed if its causing issues. Just really dont think it needs to be a big deal.

If both 2yo are too big for travel cots, then they have equal rights, Alex's 2yo has no more right to twin bed than your own 2yo.

It is sensible for siblings to share, not strangers. Can Alex not see that is sensible?

Therefore your 8yo & 2yo should share the twin room; and Alex can make whatever arrangements he thinks right for his 2yo, whether that is sharing his own double bed or an air-bed on the floor of his room.

I might be inclined to have both 2 yo sleep in with respective parents, so your 8 yo on his own, single mattress from the other twin bed in to Alex’s room for his toddler (as his toddler is larger) and you take a toddler blow up ready bed for your toddler. Like this - www.argos.co.uk/product/3486487?storeID=509&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157%7Cacid:480-316-7430%7Ccid:596199545%7Cagid:30098969193%7Ctid:aud-484139255741:pla-210198216033%7Ccrid:94120048593%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:2666579113166924731%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o2%7Cmt:%7Cloc:1006502&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0s2i7PrD3QIVQrDtCh0bhwF0EAQYAiABEgKnSvD_BwE

They are not expensive, especially as you don’t need to pay for accommodation.

I suggest that as I really really dislike bed sharing (it makes me very nervous even with a toddler - not as scared as I would be with a baby but still). And also because 2yo on holiday are, IME at least, not good sleepers, so even your good sleeper 2yo will probably clamber over the 8yo, and it is easier for you as parents to deal with (same as it is best for Alex’s toddler to be in with him).

If there was room for travel cots in the double bedrooms, then there is room for a child's airbed.

Of course your 8yo should share with his 2yo sibling, not another 2yo. And yes, Alex has to bedshare or bring a blow up bed for his 2yo to sleep on (in his room)

Why would you take a travel cot for your two year old when he doesn’t fit it, when you could take a single blow up mattress or a ready bed? Your entire argument for having two rooms is built on you choosing to take the wrong sized bed.

Should add we are all family, not strangers at all. Probably identifying but Alex is my sibling and the paying couple are our parents. So Alex's 2yo is my DSs cousin. Might have a word with DS(8) and see if he would be happy on an inflatable mattress downstairs or on the sofa, then have both the 2yos share the twin.

I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to DS(8) because our younger son is adopted and we try not to make him feel responsible for his brother at all so as not to breed any resentment (they get along beautifully) so he has his own toys and bedroom and privacy etc but it just feels like actually it's about time DS learns that sometimes siblings have to share!

And as pp said a toddler size ready bed isn’t much bigger than a travel cot (longer but narrower if you see what I mean) so it would certainly fit in any room that would have had room for a travel cot...

If the other people were still coming, surely you’d have to use the travel cot so I don’t get why they are suddenly out of the equation? Buy a ready bed if it’s too small?

Have you offered to pay half so that you can have half of the rooms, I think that’s fair enough. If they don’t even go for that and have no real reason, I don’t think your holiday will be too much fun.

How good friends are they?

Bring a portable bed with you for 2 year old ?

Ah cross posts! Sorry! Yes, thought it would probably be family...

Sorry, just seen the Travel toddler bed - that is perfect! Didn't realise they were a thing, thought people were suggesting a single size airbed which wouldn't fit (we've stayed in this accommodation a few times). Happy to get one of these for our DS but still think that since there is a spare bed in the twin room, Alex will put his son in there with our 8yo and I don't think that's fair inbtue 8yo.

It’s down to the couple who are paying, IMO. If you don’t like what they propose then stay elsewhere. (Which is probably what I’d do if other person’s two year old really does wake at 5 everyday and he continues trying to fob them off on your child.)

Though unless people are very rigid these things usually sort themselves out after a night or two, TBH.
PP’s suggesting an air bed is a good idea. One of the kids could sleep in lounge, perhaps.

Book your own place. You will end up with a toddler in your bed, and kids woken up early by other kids. Then when it all gets too much you can go back to your own place. Group holidays are hard work.

Am I missing something here? There are now eight people coming, two families of two and one family of four. Eight bed spaces. That's obviously two rooms and four bed spaces for the family of four and one room and two bed spaces each for the two families of two.

Alex is effectively saying that even though there are eight people and eight bed spaces, he should get two bed spaces and a room to himself, and your DS2 shouldn't get a proper bed but should sleep in the travel cot in your room (meaning you are three to a room). Oh, and your DS8 effectively becomes a babysitter for his DS2.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, that's barking.

Offer him the twin room or one of the doubles for him and his son.

Is your objective to get a bed big enough for your 2 yo or to keep your 8 yo away from dawn waking Alex’s 2 yo?

One family needed to bring a spare cot anyway: take a blow up bed / ready bed for your 2 yo?

Put both your kids in with you? (You we’re always going to have one)

Is there a spare Reception room that could have a blow up for your 8 year old?

I can see your POV but also Alex’s: why do you get to take the vacancy left by his StepDs, not him?

Whatever you do, do not cause a row that will impinge on the couple who are paying and I assume invited you all. Because in their place I would want to knock your heads together.

Would Alex be better in the twin with his 2 yo so that at least then he has a seperate bed, and you put your two in the double, either both in the bed or one in a ready bed?

knots I've already said in my last post I'll get a readybed for DS(2). Still not happy about the other 2yo being imposed on my DS(8) though. And I'm sure we could find somewhere for my DS(8) to sleep on a sofa or something but again doesn't seem fair that he will lose out on the comfort of a proper bed and bedroom. The imposition on my 8yo is more important to me than DS(2) having his own "bed" as he's quite comfortable sleeping in with DH and I (even if we aren't comfortable!).

i think where you're getting overly precious is on the idea that your two can't share a bed but expecting Alex to share with his 2yo. give him the twin and then if you choose to bring something with you to make the double more manageable for your kids (like a travel toddler bed) that's up to you.

Bringing a bed for your 8 year old is a good idea. Another option is to say you are worried your 8 year old might wake the 2 year old when he goes to bed. Alex might not want his son woken in the night.

Whatever you do, do not cause a row that will impinge on the couple who are paying and I assume invited you all. Because in their place I would want to knock your heads together.

Also we won't fall out about it. It's just a sleeping place for a week, we have a fantastic relationship as a family. The trip is planned for a special event so the paying couple haven't invited us, we would have been going anyway. They were adamant they wanted us to all stay together so they get that special time with the kids. And we aren't arguing a out this; it was a comment made in passing that the older 2yo can now sleep in with 8yo. I mentioned that we might have to rethink that as our 2yo has outgrown travelcot, and they said "oh I'm sure he will be fine for a week". That is the extent of the conversation, no need for banging our heads together

i think where you're getting overly precious is on the idea that your two can't share a bed but expecting Alex to share with his 2yo

Because my 8yo didn't decide to have a child. Unlike me, DH and Alex. We can bedsheets with our own toddlers if need be, because they are our toddlers. I don't think it's fair to make an older child bedshare with an annoyingly wriggly toddler who will keep him up all night.