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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher man handing 4 year old DS

112 replies

Essexdarling · 17/09/2018 17:41

Aibu to want to March down the school and slap New headmaster for putting his hands on my 4yo DS?
So ds started reception last week, first full day today, in assembly he was talking, the new head yanked him off the floor by his arm and dragged him to sit with his teacher... ok so I understand reasonable force to ensure safety of students from themselves and to others etc... he’s 4! He’s talking to his friend in assembly. If he had told him to go sit with the teacher he would have! I got the story from my 2 older DD’s who were in assembly too, both same story. Should I be pulling him up for man handing my child with no good reason?! Or is this supposed to be acceptable?? Help pls (p.s no I do actually want to slap him)

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 17/09/2018 20:13

Starlighter

OP, a teacher should not be putting their hands on your son. No excuses.

I will remember that when a child is belting the crap out of another child.
I will remember that when the child is verbally abusing another child and won't leave the room.
I will remember that in the next corridor bundle and a child is going under and in danger of being crushed.

I will remember it and discount it as the rubbish that it is.

rainingcatsanddog · 17/09/2018 20:14

I think it's fine for teachers to touch a child and totally accept that an elbow or shoulder might be used to guide a child. (The child's hands would have been at floor level so easier to guide via the elbow in this situation)

LJdorothy · 17/09/2018 20:28

I think it's most likely your son was hurting/upsetting/annoying the person next to him in some way and the HT was lifting him out of the way quickly without disrupting assembly. The HT is very, very unlikely to have 'manhandled' your child unnecessarily roughly in front of the whole school, as presumably he values his career. Your DD will be unaware of the real reason for your son's removal and it might be a good idea to speak to the teacher so that you know what your child was actually up to, rather than focusing on his removal. It's understandable that his sisters are protective of him, and it's a shame this has happened in his first assembly but he does need to learn how to behave.

forumdonkey · 17/09/2018 20:57

I imagine that all the 4 year old new starters can be quite chatty and not used to the formality of assemblies. If they did it with all of the students, especially the new ones they'd all be sat with the teacher. I would guess your DS was probably told more than once and maybe he was cheeky (but not rude of course) back. The head and staff will be used to this and primary aged children. If removing him has the desired effect of him sitting down and listening at appropriate times it's a lesson well learned early in his education.

YeTalkShiteHen · 17/09/2018 21:01

BoneyBackJefferson

Well fucking said!

Starlighter · 17/09/2018 21:11

BoneyBackJefferson

But none of those situations were relevant in this case?! Of course those situations are different, FFS... Hmm

The child was sitting down in assembly! In this particular case, the teacher should not have manhandled him like that!

Menolly · 17/09/2018 21:27

Grabbing him by the arm does sound unnecessary and if it was just that he was chatting and he was definitely yanked up and dragged I would be angry too but his big sisters are likely to be very protective of him and they are unlikely to have seen exactly what he was doing and may have misinterpreted him being guided by the arm, which is very different. Speak to his teacher but I wouldn't go in all guns blazing just yet.

foxotterhare · 17/09/2018 21:31

AmIUnderstandingThisCorrectly

Moving children for their safety and moving them to make a point in the way described by the OP's children are two very different things.

foxotterhare · 17/09/2018 21:32

I also don't think an ordinary teacher could make a case for this course of action (they have to be able to justify contact) which means the principal should certainly not be modelling it.

foxotterhare · 17/09/2018 21:33

You actually cannot handle children roughly for the sake of discipline, either. Sorry if you don't like this.

tinytemper66 · 17/09/2018 21:52

The best thing to do is to go to the school tomorrow and clarify the event. I am sure you will be calm and collected and get the facts.
Let us know how the meeting went.

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/09/2018 22:10

Starlighter

So you are now saying that there is an excuse to grab a child?

this is what you posted
a teacher should not be putting their hands on your son. No excuses.

Has the definition of "no excuses" changed?

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