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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think she's being a right CF?

503 replies

itchybumhole · 17/09/2018 13:50

A bit of background first, and I'll try my best to give all the relevant information, but as I don't know much about the workings of the system I'm unsure what I need to include.

My partner split with his wife 3 years ago after 13 years together and 7 years of marriage. They have an 11 year old child together. Their marriage ended very acrimoniously after a series of infidelities on her part.
When they separated he immediately moved out of the family home with just his personal belongings and stayed with his parents until he could find a rental place. Since leaving he has paid her child maintenance by private agreement on a weekly basis.

She has today received a letter from HRMC saying she needs to repay tens of thousands of pounds in overpaid tax credits. The tax credits were paid to her during the time that he had left the family home. (He's always worked full time. When he left she went on to benefits. She hasn't worked in 13 years apparently).
The notice says that if she claimed as a couple then both parties must repay, so she called him today and said he's liable for half. His answer was... but how can I be? I have receipts for rent paid to my own house. I didn't benefit from this overpayment so why should I pay half back?
We're both so confused. What does he do now? I've told him to call HRMC but he's still smarting from the phone call from his ex wife. We're these benefits claimed fraudulently? And is he liable to repay half as she insists?
Thank you for any help or advice.

OP posts:
UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 17/09/2018 15:52

It took 'a few minutes of stony silence' for him to admit he'd taken out a loan? When it was nothing to do with you and there was no reason for him not to tell you? Ditch him, OP, imagine what it would be like trying to discuss issues with your relationship or joint finances with him.

LoveManyTrustfew · 17/09/2018 15:53

.

flamingofridays · 17/09/2018 15:54

There’s only one CF in this situation, and it isn’t her

….but apparently everyone else is jumping to conclusions Hmm

timeisnotaline · 17/09/2018 16:00

The loan application fraud he can explain and probably get away with by saying post split he had no fixed address yet so thought the best option was the family home he’s recently left given he had his history there for everything. I’d just be upfront about that if I were him and provide the evidence of single. If hmrc won’t talk to him I’d just provide the wife with a few statements and say I have forms xby and z to back this up, I’m not contributing to the payment but will provide any evidence I have that you were single. Let me know.

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 17/09/2018 16:01

@flamingofridays yes. It’s a fact. She needs his help to prove he lived elsewhere yet instead of doing this he’s trying to wrangle out of it.

He tried to take a loan out.

He didn’t tell his dp until now, and only fessed up because his exw said it was the reason she had to pay back money - she couldn’t have lied about this because how would she know about the loan? Hmrc must have told her that’s the reason is why.

lazymum99 · 17/09/2018 16:02

Really what should happen is your DPs ex should ask HMRC for a full explanation of what they think caused the overpayment. They will then come back and say there is proof the Mr Itchybumhole was living at the address when a single claim was taken out. (if that is what has caused the overpayment). Then she can ask your DP for proof that he was not living there during this period using tenancy agreements, utility bills etc. He is only morally obliged to produce this proof.
HMRC do carry out checks on single claimants and this loan may well have shown up.
Your Dps ex can appeal or ask for a mandatory reconsideration and include proof that he didn't live there during this period.
It does not seem like he owes her any money though.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 16:05

So he didn't take out a loan, he just applied for one and was declined?

Then she is trying it on. She's been claiming fraudulently with the new partner living there and can't pay the bill.

She's in big trouble. She could be jailed for this. So she's probabaly desperate. But it's her trouble not his.

Just make sure he didn't sign anything.

flamingofridays · 17/09/2018 16:08

yes. It’s a fact. She needs his help to prove he lived elsewhere yet instead of doing this he’s trying to wrangle out of it

but she hasn't asked for his help, she's asked him to sign some letter and come on who in their right mind would do that? then she's asked him to pay back HMRC when he owes them sweet FA.

she can't have lied about it? you're very naïve. HMRC might well have told her about the loan, all she had to do was send him a message saying hi EX DP, HMRC think you were living here on x date because you applied for x loan, please can you send me a utility bill / rent agreement to cover this date?

but she didn't - she wanted him to pay.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2018 16:11

I'd also say as this is tens of thousands, and he moved out three years ago, and appplied for the loan fairly soon after that, then it's very clear she's been claiming benefits with the new partner living there,

It's the new partner that's rhe other part of The couple, not this guy, but she's clearly trying to stick him with some of thr cost.

The loan is irrelevant.

sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 17/09/2018 16:15

I don't see what the loan has to do with anything. If he owns the property he'd be entitled to take out a loan secured on it. He doesn't have to be living there to do that. And how would HMRC even know about the loan? It's not income one has to declare.

loubluee · 17/09/2018 16:15

Money on it, that it is the loan application that has triggered it. She’s claimed as a single person but the application shows her husband is still in resistance.

When exdp left one bill was left in his name, he said don’t worry i’ll Carry on the direct debit- didn’t think anything of it. Until all my money was stopped. I had to get my MP involved in the end to sort out. Because I argued he could give each £1000 in cash per month and it was fine, however because we can show what he pays me (in maintenance for our child), it’s wrong. As I said they did back down in the end, however it was the financial link at the address that caused it, so I could see their point (through gritted teeth!).
But obviously a loan application says he was living there at the time- that’s where the issue will be.

loubluee · 17/09/2018 16:17

It downstairs matter about owning properties etc- it’s the financial link you have to someone. The application would ask his current residence-that is what will show in searches. He said that her address was his residence. Therefore on paper he is saying he is living there.

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 17/09/2018 16:19

Maybe I’m projecting a bit as it’s happened to me, only it was the previous tenants PayPal account.

OP can you clarify how the ex wife found out about the loan? That would determine whether of not hmrc told her about it

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 17/09/2018 16:22

Also, my tax credits award, including child tax, working tax and childcare, comes in at around £17000 a year so ‘tens of thousands’ could possibly be a years worth.

VanGoghsDog · 17/09/2018 16:25

she couldn’t have lied about this because how would she know about the loan? Hmrc must have told her that’s the reason is why.

We don't actually know the OP dp didn't tell the ex about the loan (at the time, or later), do we?

If he owns the property he'd be entitled to take out a loan secured on it.

No-one said anything about the loan being secured on the property.

And how would HMRC even know about the loan?

They cross check addresses with credit reference agencies. To prevent and detect fraud....

wiilowmelangell · 17/09/2018 16:30

So, if I have read all this correctly.
Ex claims single parent benefits, not working outside the home.
Gets weekly (cash?) maintenance.
Has a little side thing through ebay.
Has a bloke living with her.

So IF the last 3 are not being declared...

then to answer your original question, yes she is being a CF!

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 17/09/2018 16:31

@VanGoghsDog I’ve asked the OP to clarify your first quote

Dodie66 · 17/09/2018 16:33

If his name is not on the letter and she claimed as a single person he is not liable. To start with when she put in the initial claim if it’s a joint claim he would have had to sign the form. Me and hubby did a joint claim and we both had to sign the form. Did he sign the form when she put in the claim? Don’t let him sign anything now either.

SpoonBlender · 17/09/2018 16:35

It's a good sign that they won't talk to him about it!

QueenoftheNights · 17/09/2018 16:36

@itchybumhole (yuck!)

You seem to be going to one hell of a lot of bother for a guy you have been dating for just a few months Confused and are not living with.

why are you trying to sort this out for him when he's a grown man and it's nothing to do with you?

When you said he was your partner i assumed this possible fraud and repayment was going to affect you and your joint home.

He's just a short-term boyfriend at the moment.

Let them sort it out themselves.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 17/09/2018 16:47

WTF is he doing ringing HMRC, it has nothing to do with him. He should keep well away or she will succeed in stiffing him with the bill.

Her name is on the letter, she claimed the benefits, she spent the benefits. Its for her to sort it out or pay it back. If he is liable HMRC will send him a letter. Until then tell her to take a run and jump.

lazymum99 · 17/09/2018 16:49

How many times does everyone need to be told:
Child Maintenance does not count as income for tax credits. It would be impossible for them to check these figures or keep track of it.

FlamingJuno · 17/09/2018 16:53

Don't people get separation papers drawn up these days? When I got divorced many many moons ago, the first thing you did was get a formal deed of separation so that you could start your countdown and prove you were no longer a couple. Doing that would save a lot of these issues that come up when people can't prove that a relationship ended when they said it did.

YouTheCat · 17/09/2018 17:04

I'd bet she's being investigated for claiming as a single person while her new oh is living with her.

Not OP's partner's problem. He can prove he wasn't living there and his name wasn't on the letter anyway.

TheHalfBloodPrincess · 17/09/2018 17:06

Her name is on the letter, she claimed the benefits, she spent the benefits. Its for her to sort it out or pay it back. If he is liable HMRC will send him a letter. Until then tell her to take a run and jump

She was entitled to those benefits. It’s only ops dp applying for the loan that made the hmrc say they were claimed fraudulently. If he hadn’t applied for the loan in her address then there would be nothing to flag up. He was in the wrong

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