Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's being a right CF?

503 replies

itchybumhole · 17/09/2018 13:50

A bit of background first, and I'll try my best to give all the relevant information, but as I don't know much about the workings of the system I'm unsure what I need to include.

My partner split with his wife 3 years ago after 13 years together and 7 years of marriage. They have an 11 year old child together. Their marriage ended very acrimoniously after a series of infidelities on her part.
When they separated he immediately moved out of the family home with just his personal belongings and stayed with his parents until he could find a rental place. Since leaving he has paid her child maintenance by private agreement on a weekly basis.

She has today received a letter from HRMC saying she needs to repay tens of thousands of pounds in overpaid tax credits. The tax credits were paid to her during the time that he had left the family home. (He's always worked full time. When he left she went on to benefits. She hasn't worked in 13 years apparently).
The notice says that if she claimed as a couple then both parties must repay, so she called him today and said he's liable for half. His answer was... but how can I be? I have receipts for rent paid to my own house. I didn't benefit from this overpayment so why should I pay half back?
We're both so confused. What does he do now? I've told him to call HRMC but he's still smarting from the phone call from his ex wife. We're these benefits claimed fraudulently? And is he liable to repay half as she insists?
Thank you for any help or advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
itchybumhole · 19/09/2018 09:30

I thought you were off?

OP posts:
Original poster
itchybumhole · 19/09/2018 09:45

More messages this morning. She insists the house needs to be sold. She wants her half of the proceeds so she can pay the debt and will then move away to BFs home town.

OP posts:
SmurfandTurf · 19/09/2018 09:48

Has someone left a tap on?

CottonTailRabbit · 19/09/2018 09:53

He needs to go see a solicitor.

CottonTailRabbit · 19/09/2018 09:54

If she's this much of a loon shouldn't he be looking into having the 11yo live with him most of the time?

Original poster
itchybumhole · 19/09/2018 10:09

I think it might have to come to that, but the problem is that she loves her mum. She loves both of her parents, and the arrangement they have now of shared custody works well for their child.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 10:24

To be fair to her here, if she is a very low earner, and has a massive debt due to benefits fraud, then really her only option is to release her share of th equity and pay the debt off, or she will face prison.

It would seem if she does this she is unable to financially sustain herself, and her partner is clearly not willing to set up home where she currently is. He's there because that's where sh wishes to be.

Could he buy her out? If he's renting, he could increase the mortgage, give her her half, and move into th house, taking over the mortgage, she can then move away with the boyfriend. And the daughter could stay in the family home.

SlowDown76mph · 19/09/2018 10:27

Solicitor. Basically, she is trying to use his loan application as blackmail, isn't she?

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 10:27

I think he will need to accept things will have to change. This is a significant issue, and one she needs to resolve, as said, otherwise they will send her to prison. Benefit fraud is not something that's taken lightly.

So if he accepts things ar about to change massively then he needs to try to work with her to find the best solution for this child. The status quo can't remain, even if they both wished that as the case.

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 10:31

I'd also check if I was him that they don't intend to prosecute her. Benefit fraud of this scale usually results in prosecution. It is a criminal offence.

flamingofridays · 19/09/2018 10:56

see a solicitor ASAP. let her sell the house if that's what she wants, but DO NOT let her take the child hours away. Does not seem like a good idea to me.

could he afford to buy her out? is his credit any better these days?

Spea28 · 19/09/2018 11:03

@itchybumhole

So I have read everything on here, some are getting caught up in the details that don't even matter for your original thread.....

So with regards to tax credits.... she has fraudulently claimed tax credits in her name only, your partner is not liable for any of the repayments regardless of the loan application, the loan was declined so is a nil point and has nothing to do with this. So anyway, she can do a repayment plan where she pays minimal payments that she can afford, this will not take food out of her daughters mouth as they will ensure that she can afford the payments, this can be paying back as little as £5 a week. Your partner has no duty to make any payment.

With regards to the moving away, your partner can make an application to the court to stop her moving so far away, she has to be within reasonable distance of travel for both parties and bring up that moving so far away will be of detriment to the child as the father/daughter relationship will be affected in a negative manner.

With regards to selling the house, I personally think this would be a wise idea as then he cuts financial ties with his ex once and for all, he is then free to start again and sort himself out financially.

As for digging into his past as people are attempting to do on this post, it has nothing to do with any of us, you have chosen to be in the relationship and are saying you are happy so run with it.....

RandomMess · 19/09/2018 11:25

His ex can't move away and take his DD without his agreement, he would be wise to get a prohibitive steps order in place.

I suspect that it's emotional blackmail.

It his not his fault that she has been claiming fraudulently, had she informed HMRC within a few months of her boyfriend moving in then non of this would have happened. As you partner owned/owns his house I don't think the car loan application was even fraudulent as they didn't have a financial settlement at the time!!

HMRC will negotiate repayment terms with his ex!

FunSponges · 19/09/2018 11:35

She won't sell the house and move with her child. She is just saying it to threaten your DP and make him pay. If your DP has proof of when the ex's DP moved in (you mentioned texts from his daughter) I'd tell the ex wife if she doesn't stop this shit he will provide the proof the HMRC are looking for.

Ultimately HMRC have found out she lives with someone but claims benefits, that's how it's come about. The load application means sod all. And even if it did bring it about, then tough tits!! She shouldn't have been committing benefit fraud should she. Jeez the length some posters will go to make it a man's fault is bloody ridiculous.

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 11:40

She won't sell the house and move with her child

You really can't assume this, this is a major debt she needs to pay or will face imprisonment, they won't take a fiver a week off her. As such, selling the house may indeed be her only option.

However I agree, he should call her bluff, as I'm not sure they will make her and her child homeless. However as there is another parent who can home the child, then they may indeed do so, and she can then fend for herself.

VanGoghsDog · 19/09/2018 11:52

We don't actually KNOW she committed any fraud, do we?

We only know she is being investigated. We don't know she was no longer entitled once the new bf moved in, we have no information on his income and contributions.

So - if the loan application has caused the issue and HMRC now think she has claimed fraudulently (because they think the DP still lives there) then all that needs to happen is that the OP's DP provides evidence that he did move out.

If there is more to it, re the bf, then the ex needs to detail to HMRC what has happened and why. But none of that is anything to do with the DP.

If it is fraud, it's pretty unlikely HMRC will take a payment plan, so actually, selling the house is the best idea.

flamingofridays · 19/09/2018 11:57

we know she claimed as a single person when she wasn't one vangogh - if they had been claiming as a couple, her name and new bfs name would be on the letter. Op says its only her name.

Op's dp has told her she can have the evidence, she doesn't want it, that to me says she knows she will have to pay at least some of it back. If it was a simple as giving HMRC the evidence and having the entire debt wiped clear, she'd do It no?

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2018 11:58

I think it's fairly safe to assume if she has a bill and is talking about selling the house to pay it, she's committed benefit fraud.

QueenDaisy · 19/09/2018 12:02

What Spea28 says seems to make the most sense, however, if was you, I’d hold off moving in with him until this is sorted out Flowers

Ifuckinghatethatdog · 19/09/2018 12:10

Not rtft but just popping in to say, I have a joint claim but letters only ever been addressed to me - I had an original claim and when dp moved in I added his details - don’t know if that makes a difference as it wasn’t an original joint claim iyswim.

VanGoghsDog · 19/09/2018 12:48

we know she claimed as a single person when she wasn't one

No we don't.

If it was a simple as giving HMRC the evidence and having the entire debt wiped clear, she'd do It no?

She sounds a bit dim to be fair, so no, she may have no idea what the issue is and how to resolve it. She doesn't sound like the world's best communicator either, so all sorts of things she has said could be incorrect.

And I didn't say it would clear entire debt, but it might mitigate the bit where he had moved out. If there is more from the next two yeas, as I said, that's on her to sort with the bf.

I have a joint claim but letters only ever been addressed to me

Quite.

I think it's fairly safe to assume if she has a bill and is talking about selling the house to pay it, she's committed benefit fraud.

Has she got a 'bill'? All we know about is a letter? Also - maybe it's just an overpayment?

She doesn't sound very bright, so she probably needs help to work out what to do (not that being bright necessarily helps with any HMRC interaction anyway).

flamingofridays · 19/09/2018 12:50

how don't we? if her dp's name was NOWHERE on the letter, then she did exactly that.

VanGoghsDog · 19/09/2018 13:08

if her dp's name was NOWHERE on the letter, then she did exactly that.

Loads of people have come on this thread and said they have joint claims which don't show their partner's name on them.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 19/09/2018 13:13

If HMRC wouldn't give him information relating to it, then its not a claim in his name.

shamalamalam · 19/09/2018 13:15

DH and I used to have a joint CTC claim and any we’d both get a copy of any correspondence addressed solely to each person (if that makes sense)

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.