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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just get rid of it all?

278 replies

Hoardernomore · 17/09/2018 07:40

So far this week I’ve got rid of 18 bags of rubbish / recycling / stuff for charity shop from our average sized house. I’m still going.
I’ve got rid of christening cards, scan photos, wedding cards, thanks you cards, Mother’s Day cards, baby memory boxes, new baby stuff and momentoes. All gone. Drawings by the kids, photos, hand made stuff from school and nursery.
Also gone are all my books and cds, toys my children don’t use, random stuff we’ve accumulated like wires that I have no idea of their purpose anymore.
My gran died last year and she’d kept so much, and we had to chuck most of it. I’ve concluded it is all just stuff, at some point it has to be thrown away and actually it’s easier for me to do it than my children once I’m dead.

My friend thought I’d lost the plot when I told her everything had gone. Aibu? I just think it’s stuff. It’s all pointless really.

OP posts:
Heismyopendoor · 17/09/2018 07:42

Scan photos and baby memory boxes I could never get rid of.

Most of the other stuff I would be happy to get rid of

Merryoldgoat · 17/09/2018 07:43

Well, what’s left? No books at all?

Merryoldgoat · 17/09/2018 07:43

I couldn’t dump my kid’s artwork or scan photos.

Original poster
Hoardernomore · 17/09/2018 07:45

No books. Kids books I’ve kept. But all my books have gone. I’ve got a kindle, I never read hard copy books anymore.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 17/09/2018 07:45

Are you elderly and approaching death? How old are your children?

Frogscotch7 · 17/09/2018 07:45

Well done. Yanbu.

Spreadingcudweed · 17/09/2018 07:45

It's this sort of dilemma that makes me feel reluctant to start on my paper clutter! I just don't know what to keep and what not to keep!

Monty27 · 17/09/2018 07:46

I did something similar when my DM passed away. Having had to go through her personal belongings, as soon as I got home I went up to the attic and retrieved everything I had written for about 30 years.
I regret it now. Be careful.
I am sorry for your loss Flowers

Original poster
Hoardernomore · 17/09/2018 07:46

I’m in my mid 30s but I have a medical condition that probably means I won’t live to the average life expectancy. 60ish probably. My children are primary and pre school age.

OP posts:
rightknockered · 17/09/2018 07:48

I've done a lot of this recently. It's very freeing.

SD1978 · 17/09/2018 07:48

You're right of course- but some of that stuff I see as things your kids would like to see/sort through at a later date. Ultimately your choice. But coming across momentous my mum thought were important enough to keep gives me a smile.

AdventuringThroughLife · 17/09/2018 07:50

I have had a similar sort out - most books gone, cds and dvds gone, old puzzles and games and things noone plays?, slimmed down wardrobe a lot.

Im still working on it though. i have a ton of kids books and artwork to sort. I didnt appreciate having to go thru all my old school stuff at 40 so want to slim down theirs to just a few bits so as not to lumber it with it all!

I used to keep birthday/wedding cards (why!?) And all sorts but small house and need for order so I can enjoy life now has pushed me over the edge into clearing out.

It can go too far though... my mum has bipolar and in a manic state can clear out far too much.

SleepingBooty · 17/09/2018 07:51

This is a thing. Google Swedish Death Cleaning. I'm always decluttering but still not ruthless enough.

DannyWallace · 17/09/2018 07:52

My friend did this. Likes a minimalist life now.
She said she doesn't want any happiness to be made from material things. Even sentimental things. She said what if there was a house fire, everything was ruined but her family got out fine, a lot of people would still be disappointed, but she wouldn't as her house only holds basic stuff she needs!
I couldn't do it...but if I'm honest I'd like to!

Original poster
Hoardernomore · 17/09/2018 07:53

I’ve kept one Christmas card for us all so we can reuse them and just write the date on. Can’t see the point in buying new ones every year at insane cost.
I hope my parents have got rid of everything too as I don’t want to have to do it when they sadly aren’t around anymore. It’s harder to throw it away when someone else has kept it.

OP posts:
Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 17/09/2018 07:53

Most of those things are best disposed of (including children's art, or we would all be up to our necks in it) but...a scan photo and a few new baby things in a little box take up no space really.

When you are getting rid of that stuff rather than just junk, then it might be time to pause and think whether this is about tidying/simplifying or just repressing painful emotions.

categed · 17/09/2018 07:55

Try to keep important personal things of your kids. I have nothing as it was all binned. My older sibling have lots and i was left feeling unwanted and left out. As my mother died when i was 21 i also have loads of unanswered questions that some of this stuff could have helped with.

Oysterbabe · 17/09/2018 07:55

I think it's a shame for your children. My DH has loads of stuff like baby books and pictures from when he was tiny and it's interesting to look at. My parents didn't save anything. If, god forbid, anything happened to one of your children you'll wish you'd saved those memories.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2018 07:55

I’ve kept one Christmas card for us all so we can reuse them and just write the date on. Can’t see the point in buying new ones every year at insane cost.

I’m confused by this. You reuse exactly the same Christmas card every year? Why not just not send Christmas cards?

Spreadingcudweed · 17/09/2018 07:56

My late mother was always very organised but she decluttered massively towards the end (she died of natural causes aged 87 yrs) almost as if she knew when she would be "departing". Her house was gleaming, all drawers and cupboards were neat and half empty. She had had an ex-naval chap in to sort the garage and roof. Even so, by the end of clearing out an entire house, me and my siblings were absolutely exhausted!

So op, I think you are doing a very good thing for your DC. I would perhaps give each of them a treasure box containing their scans and baby/infant/childhood treasures etc though.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 17/09/2018 07:57

🤣

Original poster
Hoardernomore · 17/09/2018 07:57

Yes purple
We will just reuse the same ones until they look tatty. I think I spent about £25 on family cards last year. Kids barely even looked at them.

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 17/09/2018 07:57

I'm downsizing but I kept stuff like memory boxes, drawings etc, only enough for one box full. Because when we cleared my parents' house and found all the things they'd kept of theirs and ours, it was lovely to look at them. Also all my Dad's football medals. Those things are things my grandchildren might one day hold and treasure.

dudsville · 17/09/2018 07:58

I do this. I have one box of momentos. It's about the size of a microwave oven. It spans my entire life time. I get a build up of things to put in it and every 5 years or so I get the box down, get the build up out and go through the lot. It's a nice few hours down memory lane and I always end up getting rid of a few bits.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 17/09/2018 07:59

I was just going to ask about Bipolar. I do mad clear outs when I’m manic and do often regret it. My house is either a hoarder’s paradise or completely minimalist.

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