To just get rid of it all?

[Hoardernomore]

So far this week I’ve got rid of 18 bags of rubbish / recycling / stuff for charity shop from our average sized house. I’m still going.
I’ve got rid of christening cards, scan photos, wedding cards, thanks you cards, Mother’s Day cards, baby memory boxes, new baby stuff and momentoes. All gone. Drawings by the kids, photos, hand made stuff from school and nursery.
Also gone are all my books and cds, toys my children don’t use, random stuff we’ve accumulated like wires that I have no idea of their purpose anymore.
My gran died last year and she’d kept so much, and we had to chuck most of it. I’ve concluded it is all just stuff, at some point it has to be thrown away and actually it’s easier for me to do it than my children once I’m dead.

My friend thought I’d lost the plot when I told her everything had gone. Aibu? I just think it’s stuff. It’s all pointless really.

"That which I possess, possesses me"

Now I know where Fight Club's "the things you own end up owning you" came from. :)

I am about to start on this process, my dad died 3 weeks ago and last week we had to clear his house. It was a small house with very little clutter but it still took us 3 days and I found it heartbreaking going through his personal things.

I have come home determined to clear out as much as I can, I have a big house which has allowed me to keep far too much stuff that isn't used and not needed. The DC's things will be the most difficult as I have 5 - one sadly died at full term and his memory box will be staying, obviously - but I have many pieces of 'priceless' kids artwork from the other 4.

I would never get rid of baby memory boxes scan photos (however mine are in the memory boxes) or photos. I would likely scan photos. DD2 would disown me if I threw away books.

However the rest I have no issue with.

I'm still struggling with dating Christmas cards, does this mean you just write the date in them? And if so, why?

I need to do something similar. I have already taken 3 bin bags of clothes to the charity shop, but I can still get rid of some more.
I am keeping all my books, if only because they provide some help towards soundproofing/muffling noises from the party wall (I have a whole wall full of book shelves).

I have a load of VHS videos to get rid of, but I doubt the charity shop would want them and I can't bring myself to throw them away.

I'm still struggling with dating Christmas cards, does this mean you just write the date in them? And if so, why?

Yes I don’t get it either!

Having lost a load of precious photos in the perfect storm of a hard drive fail and corrupted external file I've gone back to hard copies, they are safer!

Haven't RTFT but saw on Facebook the other day someone had taken photos of all their child's paintings and made up a photo book on one of those cheap websites so everything in one place for each child.

Charity shops haven't taken VHS videos for some years now. We binned ours when we realised that we no longer possessed a VHS player. Even hoarding DH couldn't see the point of keeping something that he couldn't play.

Thats genius beyond!

I wasn’t even sure the charity shop would take cds and books but they did!

It just all seems pointless - the stuff. I mean anything with sentiment too really as it’s the memory attached to it rather than the thing itself and I still have the memory even if I chuck out the physical thing.

Oh please keep the scan photos and memory boxes...

I don't have many photos from my childhood. I only have about 10 and I wish I had so many more. I know we used to have loads but they've gone missing throughout the years.

Please keep the memories. You can pass them on to your kids later and they'll cherish them.

Anything trivial though, if I haven't used it in the last year, I throw out or give to charity. It's lush having a clear out.

I still have the memory even if I chuck out the physical thing.

They're not just your memories though, they're your children's too.

I think most posters are talking as though the choice is between one extreme or the other i.e. keep absolutely everything and end up drowning in rubbish or get rid of absolutely everything and have nothing to show for a lifetime. There is a middle way! A couple of years ago I scanned photographs and documents so I now have school reports ( 2 per academic year!), individual school photos, class photos, whole school photos, certificates, holiday photos, nursery photos, scan photos, baby photos, toddler photos plus the family videos and so much more saved on Apple icloud, Google photos, Flickr and also saved on 2 external hard disks. Very much a belt and braces approach. The external hard disks are shorter and thinner than the average sized paperback so take up very little space and now that everything has been scanned I've been able to tag each photo or document with key words so they're searchable. I also ripped our dvd's as I'm not paying to stream dvd's I've already purchased.

I agree with the previous posters who have pointed out that when you throw everything away you deny your children their memories. Two previous posters have said how unhappy they are that they have no childhood photos, I'm in a slightly better position as I have the grand total of 23 photos of me as a child plus a few of my siblings. I really, really wish I had more.

Someone else remarked that no one will be able to access photos etc which are password protected. One of my external disk drives is open so not a problem and I have a list of passwords.

"You can pass them on to your kids later and they'll cherish them."

probably worth asking them though. I grew up in a small house and mum keeping projects and so on - all the stuff she still has, argh - I asked her to chuck most of it when I was a teen. I said, I will keep the stuff that means something to me, chuck out the rest.

but no, she cannot bring herself to chuck out the rest. That's fine, it's her house, not mine. But when I was a teen and half my tiny bedroom was full of shit I didn't want, it was annoying.

so probably best to ask before chucking possessions that belong to others, for sure.

I guess because I have zero interest in stuff from my childhood I assume my children will be the same. I have loads of photos of them in digital format though.

I couldn’t be as ruthless as that and maybe just after losing a relative is no to the best time to Be doing such ruthless decluttering.
I couldn’t get rid of memory book stuff, each child has a largish plastic storage box with their first curls, first babygrow, first shoes, selected pieces of really good artwork, school reports, birth and christening cards, christening outfit and shawl and a few select birthday cards from elderly relatives who may not be here much longer. My children love looking through their memory boxes every now and then and I couldn’t get rid of them, far too sentimental I’m wuite organised with them though so hopefully the one box each will suffice through their childhoods.

Dp is far worse at hoarding than me, I’ve kept 16/18/21/ and a few 30 cards but he always wants to keep all cards from all birthdays! I’m training him to my ways though and to be fair he’s recently parted with some cherished childhood toys he’s had since he was a small boy so it’s progress.

Just in the middle of decluttering.
Discovered the scans of my twins and oldest child 20 and 22
Scans are mostly damaged and unreadable 😮

Charity shops haven't taken VHS videos for some years now. We binned ours when we realised that we no longer possessed a VHS player. Even hoarding DH couldn't see the point of keeping something that he couldn't play.

I still have a working VHS player as well. Albeit it hasn’t been used or even plugged in for several years. Might not work properly now!
Was thinking of ebay, but don’t think I can be bothered with the faff and ridiculous fees. Might try freecycle. Surely there is someone out there that would want it all!

Both my parents died before their "time" ie in their 60s. We are currently clearing my dad's place for sale.

There is loads of "stuff" and much of it doesn't mean anything to me. It was kept because it ought to be by my parents. Family silver, pictures, books. I just don't have space. I intend to take one or two small items, family photo albums and that's it. I've got memories and quite frankly I'd rather have my parents.

I'm definitely a clearer. Loosing parents is hard enough without having to spend weekends going through piles of crockery. Much of it doesn't mean a lot to me and it will mean even less to my kids.

But it is not true that you have the memories without the things! You might now, but in twenty years time? don't you think it would be nice to come across those cards or drawings and be reminded of your, say, five year old walking in to give you the card?

and your kids, they certainly won't remember!

no, sorry, still don't get it. Get rid of old things by all means, clutter is not good, but how much space do a few birthday or Mother's Day cards and selected drawings take? a couple of boxes?

Even with photos - it depends who they are. Photos of unnamed people, in unidentifiable places. Do you really have to keep them because they belonged to your granny once? Who didn't care enough to put them in albums and label them, with name place and date, which would at least have given you a good historical record.

Well done OP.
I've been decluttering and minimalizing for about a year; getting rid of the worthless 'stuff' that takes much needed space in my home and on my mind. It helps when I've done it but 'stuff' just seems to grow out of the walls! I now try not to bring anything in that isn't desperately needed.

I'm still working on it. I'm still young but none of us know how long we have. What about if there is a fire or flooding in the home or we need to move for whatever reason? Such a burden to have to cater for junk too. I certainly won't like to leave my junk and rubbish for my loved ones to have to deal with. No one needs rubbish.

My new moto is: If you can't leave any thing good, leave nothing at all.

All we’ve kept of all my gran’s stuff is her wedding ring which my dad has and I have a small ornament. Everything else is gone. She moved into a nursing home first and we had to sell her house fast so a lot of it got moved in boxes to my parents’ house.
She had boxes and boxes of old photos. No idea who a lot of the people were. She had my dad’s first shoes and everything id ever made for her. My dad found it hard because he felt like she’d kept these things for years and to throw them out was wrong but we did throw them out.
I’d rather my children not have to make these decisions. If it’s just already gone they don’t have to worry about it. Anything of any value that I have I will advise them to sell. I’ve already told my son to just get me the cheapest possible funeral and not mess around! After all I won’t know will I?!

Oh and my kids are the same now and don't fancy 'stuff' much :-) They keep only their most important 'certificates' and declutter their rooms every month.
All our photos are on flash drives or on google drive. We don't collect cards so when we receive cards, we read it, say 'awww, how nice' etc and it goes in the recycling.

I'll always keep the scan photos though and I love paper books so I'll never give those away.