To just get rid of it all?

[Hoardernomore]

So far this week I’ve got rid of 18 bags of rubbish / recycling / stuff for charity shop from our average sized house. I’m still going.
I’ve got rid of christening cards, scan photos, wedding cards, thanks you cards, Mother’s Day cards, baby memory boxes, new baby stuff and momentoes. All gone. Drawings by the kids, photos, hand made stuff from school and nursery.
Also gone are all my books and cds, toys my children don’t use, random stuff we’ve accumulated like wires that I have no idea of their purpose anymore.
My gran died last year and she’d kept so much, and we had to chuck most of it. I’ve concluded it is all just stuff, at some point it has to be thrown away and actually it’s easier for me to do it than my children once I’m dead.

My friend thought I’d lost the plot when I told her everything had gone. Aibu? I just think it’s stuff. It’s all pointless really.

I totally get you on the card front - never send cards to the people who live in my house!

However I wouldn't throw out scan pics and baby memory stuff (first shoes, the odd picture etc) - my kids are now 16,14 and 10 and they love spending time going through their boxes, old pictures etc - it's their history!

I couldn't get rid of the kids memory boxes. I go through them and take stuff out of them every now and again, but I could never chuck the whole lot. The kids can do as they wish with them when I'm gone.

When my Nana died, I enjoyed going through the house with my mum and seeing what she thought was important enough to keep. She kept a little book in with her most important memories that said what everything was/when she got it/the story behind it. It was so lovely to see exactly why she kept things. I've started doing the same with our memory boxes.

As long as you recycle where possible, charity donations etc. Good job done.

we had so much stuff in the attic. just there. no point.

My late MIL was a hoarder, when we cleared her house when she passed away, she had literally kept every single piece of paper (Butcher's bills from the 1950s, colour supplements from the 1970s etc)
While some of it was interesting, the sheer amount of stuff was just overwhelming. My DH is devastated because the one thing he really wanted was never found, he knew it was there, but his mum wouldn't let him look for it when she was alive (and could have guided him a bit)

My mum is at the other extreme, she threw out everything as soon as we left home, all my Guide badges, all my books.
She regularly clears stuff out and just chucks it. My dad died last year, she got rid of most of his stuff fairly swiftly. Some precious stuff is still there, and I have warned her to let me know if she is chucking out and I'll go and rescue stuff help

There should be a middle ground IMO

I don't do Xmas cards anymore

YANBU.

Less tidying. Less stress.
More time with the DC.

We had mice or something bigger, in the attic, ate dd's art work. We chucked a load out after that. loads.

May years ago when my Dc's were very young, we came home after a day out to find our house flooded, we lost so many possesions and it made me realise at the end of the day it was just "stuff", after time the only thing I was genuinely upset to lose were photos.
After clearing out after the deaths of my parents I think the OP have been very brave and forward thinking,
Perhaps nowadays with everything being stored electronically things will disappear forever as relatives will not be able to access thier family members devices.

P.S ditch that bloody Xmas card!

Do you feel 'lighter' & clear headed?

Ive done loads this weekend.

A bit like BookWitch I'm trying to aim for a middle-ish ground (though tending towards not having much......). My mother's family got rid of everything and she is still upset about it (though also upset about various other things so perhaps that explains it) whereas my mother has kept virtually everything. She occasionally brings round things which have been in their loft for 40+ years which I had forgotten about and tbh wouldn't have wanted but they seem to accrue importance as they've been kept so long and that makes it harder. On the other hand, I really must remember to download our family photos from USB sticks else they will disappear into the ether which would be a pity.

Thanks redexpat I do have the Kondo book somewhere but so much clutter I can't find it!

We don’t have cds or dvds anymore. I don’t have any reading books as I have a kindle but I have a lot of crafting, recipe books, etc.

I couldn’t get rid of the scan photos though! Each child has a memory box with bits in and they can do what they want with it when I die. All my mother had from my childhood was a christening shawl and my birth certificate. No photos or anything. I also have a memory box for me and Dh. Cinema tickets, first valentines card, letters when he was away etc. It’s not something I look at daily but when I pull the Christmas decorations out I always have a look in it and it brings me joy.

After my Grandad died, my Nan (who was pretty minimalist to start with) did a clear out in anticipation of her demise. She lived another 20 years but without clutter!

I think it’s a shame to get rid of everything - your children might like to see this stuff in the future

Why not scan it and then save it somewhere before chucking it away?

People give Christmas cards to family members who live in the same house as them??

I get it OP.
We are If t’en keeping stuff because we ‘ought to’ or because they did mean something to us at the time.
The scan photo is one of them imo.
Children drawings... I kept some in a box but never label them so I actually have no idea which of my dcs did the ‘artwork’ so yes actually what is the point?

Books I am not as ruthless because I love books. But some of them I Didn’t quite like, others were just cheqp stuff I’m very unlikely to ever read again. So I’ve got rid of them too.
Same with toys (baby/toddler stuff was sold, older children toys usually went in the bin as not usable anymore) or clothes (for me or the dcs)

One th8ng though about parents throwing stuff away form their children (like guide badges etc..). I personally wouodnt do that becaus ethey are my children, not mine so it's up to them to decide if they want to keep that stuff or not.
I also believe children need to learn to get rid of thinsgbthatvarent necessary anymore.

The thing is, you don't know how grief will hit your adult children. I have so little from my parents; to be able to see my father's handwriting again would be amazing. I have my mother's cookbook and it makes me happy that I can make her recipes for my kids. But I would love, love to have more. I get clearing stuff, I do, but maybe asking adult children first if there is anything that means a lot to them, you'd maybe be surprised at the answers.

dd is 18 and earlier this year had to do an essay for english regarding her primary school work, hence i had to dig it out it;s ok, i found it!

We've always had a rule - never put anything in the attic (except Xmas decorations). We've also moved every 7 or 8 years over the past 32, and have decluttered each time. I do have a plastic storage trunk of sentimental stuff from the kids, nephews, and friends kept under my desk. I couldn't ever get rid of that. My mother is a hoarder and I always dreaded turning in to her, which is why I prefer a minimalist life.

I couldn’t get rid of scan pictures and my mother’s day cards.
I have one living child who I nearly died getting and I can’t imagine getting rid of scan pictures of her or her siblings who died.
I don’t keep mine or DHbirthday cards but I do keep hers, and her christening cards. It’s up to her when she’s an adult to decide if she wants them.
I’m also midway - clearimg out clothes and books, curtains, household stuff etc but things I couldn’t replace - like my wedding cards - I couldn’t throw out. When I die if DD wants to fling them I’ve got no problem with that.

Can I ask - everybody who has got rid of your dvds - how did you dispose of them and is there a way of scanning them? Or is it once they are gone they are gone?
Books are a tough one for me - I have managed to get down to four bookcases. All of them are mine too! DD has a bookcase of her own which she is ruthless with.

I do 7nderstand the feeling of freedom when you get rid - I like something I read further up the thread “ if I didn’t own this would I buy it again”. If the answer is no then it’s a simple choice isn’t it.
Right. Im going to try and put five books into the charity box!

Well done OP. My late DM couldn't throw anything away. It look hours of work clearing her house, of which 75% was complete tat.This included stuff like every birthday and Christmas card since they got married in 1948. Particularly painful to me were the Get well cards sent to my Granny, who didn't get well after her operation. So why on earth keep stuff which has bad memories?

The other 25% which could have been used and enjoyed or displayed was lost under the crap.

As a result, I am just not a hoarder. I do have my now adult children's first shoes and a particularly nice cardigan that they both wore, but so much other stuff isn't really worth keeping and never even meant much to them.

Having sorted though my parents' belongings/houses following their deaths I now think the main things that matter are photos and letters and the odd box files of treasured memories (tickets, postcards, art, announcements). Everything else is just STUFF.

I get where you're coming from. We have one "memory box" for each of the kids - one of the type which slots into an Ikea shelving unit. Things of sentimental value go in the box. Once the box is full, that's it. We don't keep endless school jotters and artwork, just the special bits. I certainly don't keep mother's day cards, or Christmas cards, or all the other crap people seem to want to hold onto.

MIL keeps all the old calendars as "it's nice to look back and see what was happening in 1979" but she never does - they all just sit in a box ready to be skipped when she eventually moves or dies.

Most as you say is just STUFF. Who really needs to keep Ambrose Wilson catalogues from the 1970s, or granfather's electricity bills from 1956 - 59?

My mum went thru a clearing spree about 15 years after my dad had passed and chucked out everything from the marriage which was happy, our childhoods all the bits and bobs that was kept up until that point, we got no chance to retrieve stuff

About a month after that, regret hit her and the impact of all she got rid of hit her and she was devastated. I now have one photo from their marriage which someone brought me when she died, everything else was gone, I did have some personal stuff from my father which was taken 2 years before that clearout when I was burgled.

The rest I have to rely on my dodgy memory for. Paperwork wise I have my birth cert and thats my total.