My partner and I after a long battle have recently become parents after a long battle and have a 7 week old DC.
We’re having real trouble with my parents and their hygiene around them. First off before anyone asks yes I do have hygiene related OCD my parents know (started in a previous pg) but I think despite that how I feel is normal.
Basically I don’t want anyone holding my baby without washing their hands and having a sqoosh of sanitiser and I don’t want them touching babies hands or kissing them on the face, everything else fine. I know I’m not been too mad as we were given a sheet on the importance of it and handwashing technique in hospital.
At first we had a real battle on to get my DP to wash hands and also to take their shoes off when coming upstairs to the nursery (I have 5 month old cream carpet on my stairs and landing as well)! They are better at this abs not kissing his face but they will not stop touching baby’s hands I’m not too worried after they’ve washed them at mine but would rather they didn’t as DC puts them in his mouth a lot. Despite me asking them not to every time they see him they still do it!!! It’s starting to upset me which they can see and I’ve been having to make sure the scratch mitts are folded over in DC’s grows or that he has separate mitts on, I can then whip these off/back when they go. Any way this wknd they were desperate to see him but we had lots of plans so they came and met us whilst we were out shopping. And again they would not stop touching his hands!!! I mean FFS it’s bad enough when they’re at mine but out and about when you’re touching cars machines, ticket machines and door handles why would you then go and continually stroke a newborn’s hands, this happened several time’s when both mine and DP’s attention was diverted for a few seconds, plus we’d forgotten to put mitts on as didn’t think we’d be seeing them.
I’m pissed off because they continue to do something I’ve asked them not to and upset as now because of my OCD I can’t stop thinking about it and feeling super, super anxious so it’s ruined what should have been a nice weekend. I feel it’s also creating an atmosphere between me my DH and my DM and DF as we were reluctant to see them and this is becoming obvious. I’ve always had a good relationship with my parents and can’t understand when they are so obsessed with DC why they keep doing this.
What can I do or say because nothing so far has worked.