AIBU? Help resolve an argument please!

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Interested in opinions on this disagreement please! We have two DC age 4 & 2.

Parent A: thinks there should be rules around food in the home that help teach children general societal norms/expectations. For example - things such as dunking toast into milk or fish fingers into orange juice or chips into ice cream etc. should be actively discouraged at all times because in a restaurant/public setting these things would be frowned upon or result in a telling off.

Parent B: thinks that people (regardless of age) should be allowed to experiment and,if they like something generally considered unusual, they should be allowed to do as they please whilst at home. Education on socially acceptable eating habits would take place when relevant (i.e. no dunking dinner in your apple juice whilst at a restaurant/your friend's house/at school etc.).

So....who do you agree with? 😁

I'm not sure we've helped you settle the argument though, it hasn't been conclusive.

No not conclusive but it has helped to have lots of different people articulate WHY they agree with one or the other of us - neither of us have changed our pov but we have at least now agreed that I'll make sure the "silly" experimenting (fish fingers in OJ) doesn't become wasteful and indulgent whilst dh will stop getting his knickers in a twist over fairly normal stuff that ds genuinely likes (toast dipped in milk).

So thanks, even to those who disagreed with me 😉

A

A

Toast dipped in milk isn't fairly normal tho 🤔

B but teach them context and what's appropriate when. At a birthday party recently they all put their ice cream on the pizza and ate it it was fun. However they know they couldn't do this at a restaurant or friend's house.

A

" However they know they couldn't do this at a restaurant or friend's house."

I think you'd be surprised at how many habits indulged at home do actually find their way to the school dinner hall and to friends' houses, just not restaurants where you are present to remind them.

B - it's an ideal opportunity to teach children that different behaviours are appropriate in different situations.

" it's an ideal opportunity to teach children that different behaviours are appropriate in different situations."

From what I have seen when passing through the dinner hall at school, or heard about from the midday supervisors, parents generally fail at this.

I'm firmly A and I wouldn't want to eat anywhere near a B.

amy85 maybe not "normal", but neither is it offensive, messy or wasteful as he enjoys eating it that way! Surely there are things you do at home that you don't do elsewhere? I just don't see why food should be any different.....

Genuinely shocked at some of the responses on here. The OP was asking whether unusual food combinations and habits were acceptable, not whether it's OK to let your child fling food around the place and generally have poor manners!

As an adult, I want to eat what I want to eat. No-one else has to eat it. If my child really wants to dip their fishfingers into their milk, and likes it, I have zero issues with that.

My son is autistic and we've learnt that not making food a battle is by far the best approach. And for the naysayers, both my children have beautiful table manners and food isn't wasted in our house - despite me letting them have a free rein to eat their dinner the way they want.

For what it's worth, I think putting mayo on chips is absolutely revolting yet it's now perfectly acceptable and common practice. Wind back three decades and you never used to see it. Just because you don't like it, doesn't mean you should stop someone else eating the way they want. And providing my children aren't chewing loudly, with their mouths open or flinging food around, I really don't see why anyone else should give a shit.

Also, I couldn't care less about a bloke licking his knife at the next table. Would I do it? No, certainly not - but if he's enjoying his meal and wants to do that, does it really matter?!

What you have described isn't bad table manners- it's experimenting with foods and drink. Totally normal and should be massively encouraged even if the combinations are unusual. Sounds like your child has a positive, healthy and exploratory nature with food and I would personally encourage it- but not if it was creating loads of food wastage!

Patent B is better minded imo. So long as they eat well and healthily, with no issues and as a bonus are good eating out- who gives a shiny shit? Only folks with issues imo.

I was A but my middle dc has pushed me to B. As king as she's eating I have to turn a blind eye. Pick your battles.

There was a study done on "playing with your food" where a control group was given fruit and vegetables and told to eat it sensibly, and a second group was given the same fruit and vegetables and prompted to be creative and make things with it- squishing it up and smushing then together was encouraged. They were not told to eat the food, but most of them did after they'd finished playing with it. They were much more interested in eating the fruits and vegetables than the control group.

It would make sense, therefore, that playing with food and experimenting with different combinations would be good for a child and encourage a healthy food relationship. I would be parent B.

But then if I fancied dipping food into a drink or combining flavours in a restaurant I would, because I don't hold that much by societal standards. I'm always reminded of Calpurnia's message to Scout when she invites Walter Cunningham for lunch and he covers his whole lunch in syrup when anyone mentions "weird eating". I think it's up to each individual to decide how they wish to behave with their food!

Eurghhh.... fish fingers into orange juice???? Sashimi into creme brulee anyone? regardless- B