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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at this teacher

194 replies

Canshopwillshop · 14/09/2018 20:03

My DS has come home with a list of spellings for English homework. One of them is the word ‘August’ for which the teacher has broken down into a nice memorable ‘All Ugly Girls Use Spot Treatment’! I feel this is totally unacceptable and a terrible message to put across to young kids.

OP posts:
lynmilne65 · 15/09/2018 11:16

Cannot always means sometimes they can ??

cariadlet · 15/09/2018 11:20

I'd be annoyed by that mnemonic - lazy, thoughtless, everyday sexism, potentially upsetting to anxious teens.

I think my dd would probably have called the teacher out on that one - I generally tell her not to argue with teachers even when she disagrees with them, but was proud when she pulled a supply teacher up for telling a boy to "stop acting like a girl".

Nothing wrong with mnemonics being silly or rude - that makes them more memorable.

But I do think mnemonics need to be limited to words that could trip you up eg by having to remember which letters are doubled and which are not such as "1 collar and 2 sleeves" for "necessary".

If somebody finds spelling difficult then I think that it's more helpful to try and develop additional strategies. If you rely on mnemonics for every word then you'd have far too many to remember.

OP, August is phonetically regular so I'd get your son to use phonics. Break the word into syllables by saying it out loud and clapping it. For the first syllable either remember that it's one of the ways of writing the "or" sound or use the letter names and think of it as "Eh you!".

For the second syllable, sound it out: "g-u-s-t-gust". Say it out aloud over and over again, "counting" each sound by starting off with hand made into a fist and then sticking out a finger each time you say a sound.

Canshopwillshop · 15/09/2018 11:41

@cariadlet - thanks for your helpful advice

OP posts:
SuperMoonIsKeepingMeUpToo · 15/09/2018 14:18

Absolutely you should challenge this. It's not being precious; it's about making school a safe place for all girls, pretty or not. And teachers bandying around harmful shit like this condones the collective mentality - 'teacher says it, so it must be all right'. I'm thinking of the poor spotty girl in the corner, already self-conscious about her acne.

As a teacher myself, I'm no way an advocate of teacher-bashing, but on this occasion the teacher needs to be made aware that the action was thoughtless and wrong and pulled up sharpish.

Canshopwillshop · 15/09/2018 15:05

Thanks everyone. I’ve had a lot of support on here, lots of helpful comments from teachers too which has made me realise that I should actually say something in this case. Not going to make it a big deal - just a short email to the teacher involved.

OP posts:
Pigflewpast · 15/09/2018 16:59

Pleased you're going to email. It's not the "girls" so much as the idea that any person ( girl or boy) is ugly if they have spots. I know many teenagers with massive self esteem and mental health issues due to their spots. A man I know recently tried to kill himself due to ongoing acne into his 20s. As pp have said I can well imagine half a class turning to look at "the spotty kid" when a teacher said this. Completely inappropriate

Canshopwillshop · 15/09/2018 17:14

@pigflewpast - yes, I started this thread not because my first thought was that it was sexist (though others picked that up and I agree) but mainly due to the whole spots are ugly thing especially for this age group.

OP posts:
PorkFlute · 15/09/2018 17:25

Not the best but I would maybe just reinforce to my kids that a lot of teenagers get spots and it doesn’t make them ugly so it’s a bit of a silly and mean mnemonic. I wouldn’t be marching up to the school as some parents do about every tiny little thing. Kids are resilient - they know some people are arses and that includes teachers.

pickingdaisies · 15/09/2018 18:10

Glad you're going to mention it, canshop, it's the steady drip of these seemingly minor things that can poison the atmosphere at a school, the teacher may well be mortified when it's pointed out to him. I certainly hope so. I'm also glad you're not going in all guns blazing, he just needs a heads up. Good luck, and I hope your DCs have a better time in school from now on.

Pigflewpast · 15/09/2018 18:54

porkflute SOME kids are resilient. Some kids are already struggling with self esteem, feelings of being ugly etc due to spots. Or actually due to the million other things kids are dealing with, and maybe their spots wasn't one of those things, until a teacher says this. And yes, the teacher didn't say they are ugly, and it was "just a way of learning a spelling" BUT it could well be the last straw for a kid who is already struggling.

DiscoDown · 15/09/2018 21:21

I was spotty at 11, I wouldn't have been outraged (Hmm) at this, but it would have upset me. It would have reinforced every fear I had of being thought of as ugly and sent my already low self esteem through the floor. And it would have given the bullies a bloody field day! I don't think it's on for teachers to use this sort of language and then tell a group of self conscious preteens to suck it up and learn resilience.

PorkFlute · 16/09/2018 14:59

It could upset some kids. But it didn’t upset the ops by the sound of it. I’m just not one for running to the school every time something is said that could potentially offend someone. Unless a teacher was being blatantly racist or something I would simply have a chat to my child about how the mnemonic was inaccurate and mean.

Canshopwillshop · 16/09/2018 20:06

@porkflute - If you read the thread you will have seen that I am certainly not one for ‘running to the school’ I had no intention of saying anything to the school when I posted this but it’s all the teachers who have replied to say how wrong it is who have convinced me that I should say something. Not going in all guns blazing, just a quiet email.

OP posts:
tillytrotter1 · 16/09/2018 20:31

The acronyms take more remembering than the correct spelling!

My OH sent the weekend spelling list home once with his class, the Head phoned that evening, his daughter was in the class, Did you really mean 'impotent' or should it have been 'important'!

tillytrotter1 · 16/09/2018 20:33

Oblamov, what's wrong with SOH CAH TOA, pronounced roughly as 'sock a toe a', seems easier?

Anasnake · 16/09/2018 20:34

'Silly old Harry, caught a herring, trawling off africa'

TeenTimesTwo · 16/09/2018 20:52

Oh to Sin and Ah beCos
(and tan is the other one)

OP. I have a y9 who I suspect also cannot spell August.
Some posters on MN need to remember that not every child is a straight 7+ student with no LD.

Canshopwillshop · 16/09/2018 21:25

@teentimestwo - thank you

OP posts:
ShalomJackie · 16/09/2018 21:34

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