AIBU to be a bit shocked at this teacher

[Canshopwillshop]

My DS has come home with a list of spellings for English homework. One of them is the word ‘August’ for which the teacher has broken down into a nice memorable ‘All Ugly Girls Use Spot Treatment’! I feel this is totally unacceptable and a terrible message to put across to young kids.

[Canshopwillshop]

@chocolatewombat - I am aware of pnemonics and their purpose. Just thought the whole school ethos these days was kinder/more inclusive?
Bit confused as to where you read that I was going to complain to the school about it ??? Think you must have confused me with someone else or have you not read the fucking thread 😅

[Batteriesallgone]

I thought such tools were only for really essential words, as trying to remember too many weakens your recollection.

Is August really such a vital word? clearly it’s not. Bizarre word to pick for a mnemonic.

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

What about developing a bit of resilience too?

Going by this and your other comments, does that roughly equate to 'don't call out sexism'? Or just learn to to not see it? Learn to live with it? Shut up about it?

I'm encouraging my DC - boys and girls - to see it and call it by it's name every single time.

We should all want a more equal world for the next generation.

[TheBeatGoesOnandOn]

It's just unnecessary and not very professional. Could've been anything - Anthony urges Grandad to Unfollow Sharon Tate or something or maybe more aptly Assholes Use Gender Ugly Sexist Terms.

[jumpingeasel]

I don't take exception to the "girls" part, I take exception to the fact that ugliness is equated to spottiness and vice versa.

It's not a sexism thing imo, more of a self esteem thing with a bit of "knowing your audience" thrown in too.

[Fartootiredtobeawake]

I’m a teacher and would pull a colleague up on this. As to all the people also posting about a Year 7 not being able to spell August, children have different academic abilities. I teach a wide range of children, from high ability to the students will learning difficulties. I actually teach in a mainstream school. Some Year 7s we have have reading ages of 7 or less, so will find it difficult to spell August.
Going back to the original post, we try to teach students not to judge people on their looks or make fun of them, so using this mnemonic is quite distasteful. I honestly would ask the teacher to stop using it.

[ChocolateWombat]

Thank you for pointing out my spelling mistake.....yes clearly, I didnt learn to spell that word with a mnemonic....so I'm really not sure that's evidence that mnemonics don't work anyway.

Schools go out of their way to teach kindness and tolerance, which is needed because teenagers often aren't very kind or tolerant. However, I think it's really important to see when something is said to be offensive and when it absolutely isn't - and to teach children to tell the difference too, so that they don't spend their whole lives being upset and offended and delicate little flowers unable to cope with anything. There are things which are highly offensive and which we should be upset greatly by, but if we take offence and teach our children to be upset and looking to find offence in everything, they get to the point where they can't distinguish things which really are outrageous and need a reaction, because they spend so much time reacting to everything. What do you say when your child tells you this was used at school today......do you spend time pointing out why it is an unacceptable thing to have said and the teacher shouldn't have said it? How often do you find yourself saying such things to your child and what impact does that have on them and their response to the world?

[Marie0]

jumpingeasel

I agree it's not a sexism thing -

[Canshopwillshop]

Complete spelling and typo fail in my last post 😅 never even knew what the term was for this type of acronym before so I’ve learned something tonight!

[KurriKurri]

I really don't agree with the resilience argument - how does making children self conscious about something they cannot change inspire resilience. The trouble with this kind of casual sexism (or racism, or homophobia) is that it set a precedence for casual bigotry being something people have to accept or they are overthinking or having a sense of humour failure, or not being resilient or any of the other excuses bigotry apologists use.

I think resilience is not demonstrated by accepting insulting lazy thinking, but by challenging it. It's not a question of being 'upset' by these things as much as just saying 'no, that is not good enough, refine your thinking and be more aware of others and their feelings.'
There is no need to make such a remark to teenagers, it is foolish, lazy teaching.

It was not intended to teach resilience, and it would not do so. You teach resilience by boosting pupils confidence in themselves so they feel strong enough to stand up against things they believe to be wrong. Not by putting them down and making them feel second rate or objects of ridicule because of thier sex.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

choc - yes, it's important to see when something is offensive. This is offensive. Not sure why you're struggling so much to understand this?

[ChocolateWombat]

And no, I don't think my response means I'm saying don't call out sexism, or put up and shut up. Absolutely not. I think there is absolutely times to speak up and speak up loudly against a number of things which are wrong and serious......but we have to pick our battles and I think we need to be selective when raising individual issues with our children too, because their ability to make judgements and see subtle differences is more limited. Do we want them to constantly be on the look out for things to take offence at and to have a world view that everything and everyone is wrong about everything?

I believe we should speak out and I will and do speak out against things....but I try to pick my battles, because I think that is more effective and that some issues are bigger deals and need addressing and that looking for and complaining about every little thing can be counter productive. It's certainly my experience with teenagers.

[SheGotBetteDavisEyes]

if we take offence and teach our children to be upset and looking to find offence in everything, they get to the point where they can't distinguish things which really are outrageous and need a reaction

But everyday sexism IS outrageous. This is an example of it. It always needs a reaction. It doesn't matter if it meant to be offensive or not. God knows how many examples of sexism come with a ''course I don't mean to offend anyone' disclaimer.

to teach children to tell the difference too, so that they don't spend their whole lives being upset and offended and delicate little flowers unable to cope with anything

I just don't get this. Why is teaching kids to identify sexism make them into 'delicate little flowers'? I don't follow this line of thinking at all.

[ChocolateWombat]

And I'm not suggesting the school teacher tried to teach resilience by using the phrase. I mean that the parent can teach resilience by how they react to the information and how they help their child to understand it and respond to it.

[Italiangreyhound]

Totally vile, should not be using such ideas in front of kids.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

So, you agree the teacher's phrase required the students to have some 'resilience'? So it was a dodgy phrase?

Seems to me that teaching children that they must put up and shut up when teachers say something hurtful is a bit shit.

I'm not clear what that has to do with your child being unable to distinguish between serious and trivial issues?

[Willow2017]

All Ugly Girls Use Spot Cream =
all girls who have spots are ugly.
Ugly = to have spots.

which part of that is not offensive?

If we let the stuff like this slide as LRD says then we accept them as 'normal' and it becomes ok to call girls 'ugly' just because they have spots, and instils it into young impressionalbe girls that they must be ugly cos they have spots. Never mind the social media never ending goal to be 'beautiful' and the bullying over it. People find enough to bully others about, its a bit irresponsible to hand them something new on a plate.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I mean, might it not be that your child isn't able to tell what's serious and what's trivial because you don't treat their serious concerns with respect? Maybe they feel they have to pretend nothing is serious, because they know you won't listen or protect them.

[Willow2017]

When my son had huge problems at school with bullying and was having panic attacks at the thought of school, the MH team saw him. The first thing they said was "We will not be teaching him any coping strategies nor 'resilience strategies'. Its up to the school to stop this not him to deal with it."

Same applies here, why should kids have to be 'resilient' to something idiotic thier teacher said? Why cant they see its a stupid thing to say in the first place? Its not the kids job to teach the damm teacher!

[ChocolateWombat]

The are all kinds of wrongs in the world. I want my children to be horrified and shocked when they see famine and war and genocide....even though those issues might not affect them personally. I want them to be able to distinguish between those issues and other things such as a teacher saying something which might be seen as a phrase others could use to be offensive, when it was purely used as an aid to spelling. I want my children to be willing to address injustice and to understand that every single injustice cannot be addressed by every person every day.....and actually not to be outraged by the smaller ones but the bigger ones.....to be able to differentiate. If we try to tackle everything we become overwhelmed and struggle to see the genuinely bigger, even nastier issues.

[ManicStreetTeacher]

As an English teacher of some 20 years, I can verify that pupils rarely make a mistake when spelling this word. Your child's teacher is therefore a dick on a number of fronts.

[kitkatsky]

Just lol

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

If we try to tackle everything we become overwhelmed and struggle to see the genuinely bigger, even nastier issues.

No, actually, most of us don't.

[ChocolateWombat]

We differ on this. It's been interesting, so thank you for the discussion but it's 11pm, so I am off to bed. Good night everyone.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Night.