Is this rude?

[Mumtotwofurbabies]

Want to know if I’m overreacting 🙂. MIL comes to stay, looks out into the garden, and says I’m just going to get my gardening gloves and weed your flower bed for you. Later says this is ‘because you (or DP) haven’t done a proper job I’m afraid’. Genuinely don’t know if this is normal behaviour or quite rude , I was offended at first and we managed to convince her to teach DP how to weed properly as a compromise lol

Let it roll off. I would give a cheerful wave and let her have at it! Its a bit cheeky of her but hey, least the weeds are gone

It’s bloody rude.

Reply - 'You're so right, MIL, you do it far better than we possibly could....' - result, weeded garden!

Insensitive, but possibly purely her personality generally?

Thanks! I have no intention of having a confrontation and love the idea of someone else doing our gardening for us as I hate it! Ha there have been a few incidents like this and just wanted to know if it was cheeky\rude or if I was overreacting to be a little 🤔

Very odd, a little bit rude but I’d say nothing and let her crack on- free gardening!!

I'd find it rude and reply with "well you are free to do it whenever you like."

Bonus being you get to shut her outside!

I wouldn’t find this rude because I’m not very good at gardening. But if it was something I thought I was fairly good at, like I don’t know, baking or something, and someone said they were going to go and get their piping bag because I hadn’t done a very good job they were afraid... yes, very odd indeed and quite rude.

I wish someone would weed my garden

may said in a jokey way?

I don't do much gardening, so if I get comments I just say that.

My MIL and SIL do this, I used to get so angry about it thinking they were judging me, but eventually realised it was something they liked and I hated, so why let it stress me out? They are happy, I have a nice garden and we can all feel good.

She sounds a bit schoolmarmish but I'd be happy to let her do it.

No it's not rude. Just as if you were cooking something and she thought she'd teach you the right way to do it. Or hanging a picture "no you haven't done that right, let me show you". So many precious MNers. It's not rude to show someone how to do something properly. It's rude to say "you're a rubbish gardener".

Or you could view it as at least she feels comfortable enough to say it to you, rather than silently judging and finding you lacking!

Depends what kind of person it is. If it was my MIL I wouldn't be offended because she's super nice and not rude

I’d be so grateful that she was doing me gardening and saving me the job!

Just sounds like her style. Direct and abrasive

If we were in SA for example, no one would blink an eye

Send her round mine when she's finished.

I wouldn't feel it's rude, maybe a bit blunt, but my mum would say the same and I'd let her get on with it! She always tidies up when she's round it's great!

Send her round mine - I'll crank up the strimmer

Yes it's rudeish but some people just like to let it be known that they no best.

It doesn't sound rude to me but I'm pretty direct.

I don't think she is necessarily being rude. She sounds like she's genuinely trying to be helpful but is a bit blunt/abrupt in the way she comes across. If she just stood criticising, then I would be peed off, but the fact she's doing it, I'd be delighted and go and get her a nice cuppa and a large slice of cake as a thank you. I would also be cheeky and say 'same time, next week?'...

It's rude but it's also very proprietorial - as in "I can do this because it's My Son's House and therefore as good as mine".

My MIL used to do this. Drove me nuts! She'd come and prune stuff, pull up what she considered to be dead stuff (it wasn't always!) and even bloody plant stuff in our garden without so much as a by your leave - just because it was Her Son's Place. She doesn't do it any more. I wasn't grateful At All, especially as she favours different plants to the types I like! AND she planted tomatoes in the veg plot, despite knowing that I can't eat the feckers. (OK, that's petty and she only did that the first year and never since).

But basically telling you that you've done it Wrong so she'll do it for you is rude, regardless of what "it" might be.

Woo free gardener!

Next time dont do your dishes properly and leave bathroom a mess. Free cleaner!

Prob her personality. Id love it though lol

Depends if she meant it jokingly or if she's always forthright and a bit tactless whether I would be offended in your shoes OP.

We both hate gardening so it's great when my mum comes. She has a cup of tea and then announces 'I can't leave it any longer!' and springs to her feet and goes and does the weeding :-D My mum is great though, she'll just tidy as she goes (and has been known to sort out a cupboard or two) and never expects entertaining. If she wants a cup of tea, she'll go make one herself.