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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a fag in my garden if I want to?

488 replies

WomanInChains · 14/09/2018 09:41

I only smoke in my garden, never in the street or anywhere else. A footpath runs along the side of it adjoining a woodland area. Footpath is a short cut to supermarket, doctors, hairdressers. I smoke in the alleyway at the side of my garden which runs adjacent with the footpath.

I am getting sick of random people making loud comments when they pass by my fence like 'that stink is disgusting, ohh someone's smoking eurgghh' and etc.

WIBU to shout over to the next person to fuck off away from my fence if it bothers them rather than pausing and making comments?

OP posts:
Aspenfrost · 14/09/2018 21:56

Riiiiiiiight.

plumcat · 14/09/2018 21:56

@WomanInChains
Yes, tell them to fuck off and get a life.
Can't stand nosey people who feel the need to make unnecessary comments

PookieDo · 14/09/2018 22:05

Some of my neighbours smoke out the front and out the back so essentially everything seems to stink of fags and it’s gross and annoying

I’m an ex smoker FYI
It is irritating because it lingers. That’s why people hate it. You know if you get too close or it happens frequently you too will stink of fags in your hair and on your coat etc. So I do understand why people feel really annoyed by it. I didn’t understand it until I gave up!

PookieDo · 14/09/2018 22:07

And i do know smokers feel really defensive about it becasue to them it isn’t that bad, or annoying. It’s normal. But to people who don’t smoke it is just a really unpleasant smell.

Meesh77 · 14/09/2018 22:08

We moved house after years in a house where we couldn’t open our windows in summer because of the stinking woman next door.

Seemed she didn’t like the smell of smoke in her house, so she created a smoking corner in her garden, right next to our window. The fence wasn’t quite in the middle of the two (semi) properties so her smoking corner was really close to our window.

Her son moved in and started smoking in his bedroom. A chimney had been removed between the properties, so the smoke somehow leaked under the floorboards into our newborn baby’s room.

She obviously had no idea that the stench of fags hit you whenever she opened the door, and that all of her walls were yellow.

I was glad we moved, though it was expensive to move, and I did love that house.

But yeah, it was ‘her right’ to inflict that on us.

Findingdotty · 14/09/2018 22:12

I believe it’s called freedom of speech. Get over yourself.

Storm4star · 14/09/2018 22:13

@Meesh77

Did you ever speak to her about it though? If my neighbours approached me (in a nice way of course) and explained my smoking was bothering them due to my position I would change it. I would find a way that it did not bother my neighbours.i’m not A horrible person. If it is within my power to find an acceptable solution I will do so. Seems like lots of complaints about smoking on here but no one seems to try and tackle it in a nice way.

PookieDo · 14/09/2018 22:14

I told my downstairs neighbours that having a window open doesn’t stop the smell coming into my house I honestly think they thought no one would notice 🤨 rented - smoking inside is banned

So they moved outside directly underneath my windows and all summer I spent opening and closing doors and windows and moving my kids drying laundry where it wouldn’t get covered in the smoke (chain smokers). I’m at peace with their impressive efforts at making everyone else smell as horrible as they do and invested in 76 Aldi diffusers

PookieDo · 14/09/2018 22:19

@Storm4star

In my wise old age I have realised there are 2 types of smokers. One type huddles under trees as far from civilisation as possible, furtively worrying they might be annoying someone and very gracious and apologetic if anyone is bothered.

The other type smokes their fucking fags wherever the fuck they fucking like and if you say anything they will give you a fucking mouthful

BigBlueBubble · 14/09/2018 22:20

You have the right to smoke on your own property. Other people have the right to point out that it’s disgusting. I actually didn’t think people still smoked cigarettes nowadays - how very quaint and 20th century!

Singingitoverandoverandover · 14/09/2018 22:21

YABU

you are passing harmful chemicals onto them if they have to inhale it on the walkpast - they are passing some harmless words to you..

AtSea1979 · 14/09/2018 22:27

I hate it when you go to a shop and the shop workers are stood in the doorways smoking. Seems to happen a lot at Tesco etc you’d think most places would ban it.

Parttimewasteoftime · 14/09/2018 22:30

Smoke do you what you like but why do people smoke in Zoos, farms etc all over Children! I love a glass of wine wouldn't give my son one yet 😂

Storm4star · 14/09/2018 22:33

@PookieDo

Well yeah that’s just wrong. I would never deliberately make someone uncomfortable with my smoking and I would be upset if I found out neighbours had to keep windows shut because of me. Because I wouldn’t act aggressively if someone spoke to me about it. I tend to smoke at the very end of the garden so as far away from the houses as I can be. I do also smoke in my room but, being single, that affects only me!

Storm4star · 14/09/2018 22:36

Seems to happen a lot at Tesco etc you’d think most places would ban it

Could be worse! I know a chef who works in a restaurant in the west end. Popular with theatre goers. He told me the majority of the wait staff smoke and they do it in the kitchen where he’s cooking!

SoundOfWaves · 14/09/2018 22:54

This whole thread just goes to show that mumsneters would just ban anything they don't like if they could.

Singingitoverandoverandover · 14/09/2018 23:02

No.. just the thing that can harm them and their kids

SoundOfWaves · 14/09/2018 23:05

@Singingitoverandoverandover - somebody having a fag in the open air isn't going to do any harm. What do you think Is In exhaust fumes? Get a grip.

SantaClauseMightWork · 14/09/2018 23:21

That's weird because if I can smell it, it is definitely going into my lungs.
OP, they are free to comment. Why are you so bothered if you are inside your own garden?

I think majority smokers know how badly they stink and how smelly their immediate surroundings become. Hence this thread.

SoundOfWaves · 14/09/2018 23:33

@SantaClauseMightWork - if they're free to comment op Is free to tell them to Fuck off and mind their own business, am right?

Lweji · 14/09/2018 23:43

This whole thread just goes to show that mumsneters would just ban anything they don't like if they could.

As in all mumsnetters? Including the OP and yourself?

ppeatfruit · 15/09/2018 11:18

Our ex dil lives in a smart flat, without any fireplaces removed or not, we can smell the neighbour's fag smoke THROUGH the effing walls.

It's a dirty unsociable habit and it doesn't look sophisticated OR keep your weight down. Yes it's soooo old fashioned.

LeftRightCentre · 15/09/2018 13:06

The mere mention of the word smoking on MN brings about hysteria of epic proportions.

Bonfires and BBQs as well.

Jummers · 15/09/2018 17:43

@Storm4star
Despite knowing that it smells, is anti-social and gives you and those around you cancer, you'd be so petty as to willingly and deliberately let other people breath your smoke. Classy.

Gersemi · 15/09/2018 17:50

This is a myth. For every £1 smokers cost the NHS in treating smoking related illnesses, they give £8 to the treasury in tax paid on purchasing them.

That one's been proved to be a myth in itself.