Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick and tired of the fucking menopause?

527 replies

Miladymilord · 13/09/2018 22:25

I'm in bed. Feel wide awake, alternatively hot then cold. I've got leg cramps, greasy hair (wtaf), I feel really grumpy. Can't relax. I know ill wake up again in about 3 hours, drenched in sweat with restless legs. It's totally shit.

OP posts:
Mamia15 · 16/09/2018 07:04

lostandfound - many of us have already said, we can't take HRT due to fibroids or cancer.

I'm a breast cancer survivor as well and have issues with thickening womb lining and polyps so HRT is a big no no.

Lostandfound81 · 16/09/2018 07:28

@Mamia15

Hence me making the point “if you can take it”

Devilishpyjamas · 16/09/2018 08:06

47, firmly perimenopausal. Really don’t want to take HRT. My sleep is shocking - often awake from 3ish, or 5ish (which I don’t mind so much) but having a severely disabled son who was at home with us until he was 17 I barely notice that. The night sweats are hideous.

Have reduced drinking (gives me insomnia), increased exercise massively. Bit worried about the brain fog (which I get) as start retraining next week & will be doing my first sets of written exams since 1992. I feel like I am trying to force my body to behave..

Original poster
Miladymilord · 16/09/2018 08:10

Having a big wobble about hrt. Two friends of mine say they think it gave them breast cancer. Both diagnosed in the two years after taking it. One terminal Sad

OP posts:
neffall · 16/09/2018 08:36

My friend is a GP and she says she is having the HRT lot. Everything.

But my new neighbour took HRT and she got breast cancer. I'm on the fence and resisting so far.

But DH wakes me up at 3am and I can't go back to sleep so I have the RAGE by 4pm.

juneau · 16/09/2018 09:24

So what happens when you come off HRT? I know that many women find it a complete life-saver during/after menopause, but I'd heard that you're only offered it for a few years now (my aunt, now 77 was on it for about 15 years, following a hysterectomy in her 40s). So do all the symptoms come back once they take you off it? Do you still get periods while on it?

My DM refused to take it and suffered for several years through a 'natural' menopause. She took starflower oil and I think safflower oil and that was it (and dear god in heaven she was a fucking nightmare throughout - I was sooo grateful to not be living at home by then). I really, really want to avoid a) what she went through and b) putting my family what she put us through.

HRTpatch · 16/09/2018 09:31

I've just come off HRT after 8 years. Sad to come off but I was still having a monthly bleed ...the conti ones didn't work and I decided to see how I was without it.
A month of hot flushes ( which I had never had,) but since then everything is fine.
I am exercising regularly and have cut down alcohol consumption

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 16/09/2018 09:44

HRT. If appropriate.

And yes, it’s shit.

Original poster
Miladymilord · 16/09/2018 09:58

Yeah my mum was a nightmare also. No way am I putting my family thorough that.

OP posts:
haverhill · 16/09/2018 12:24

Yep, I vividly remember my mum throwing a plate at me for making crumbs. She was usually a patient and good humoured person but menopause sent her crackers.

Delatron · 16/09/2018 18:28

My mum is the loveliest person but she was an absolute nightmare through the menopause, I was 16 and at home, bad times! ( my Dad says the same) she ended up on HRT eventually which I can’t take. I’m just sad there don’t seem to be other options. I’d hate for my kids to have lasting memories of me being a screaming, moody banshee for years!

Silvercatowner · 16/09/2018 18:44

HRT saved my sanity. I am never coming off it. I know there are associated risks (but the jury is out as to what exactly they are, apparently). The risk to my mental health far outweighs the risks of taking HRT. Hot flushing every 20 minutes was destroying me. Why do women not talk about the menopause? It came as a total shock. My mum sailed through it with no symptoms (she said it was all in my head which didn't help).

VickyEadie · 16/09/2018 18:46

I stopped menstruating 8 years ago - stopped with no warning, end of it.

I still have menopause symptoms, not the least of which are sleeplessness, hot flushes, awful anxiety attacks and foul temper/mood.

The dry skin, bizarre hair in weird places, etc I know I'm stuck with forever.

ShimmyShimmyYa · 16/09/2018 19:24

really great thread- thanks- getting lots of ideas!
am 46 and no period for 5 months
perimeno has been awful, just awful!
am on venlafaxine for mood (side effect of this medication is no hot flushes- so i'm lucky in that respect)
very happy not to have periods thus far but still feeling some hormonal shifts and falling asleep takes a loooong time!
also v knackered and getting fatter by the day
what really pisses me off is that i cannot tolerate hrt (not even the oestrogen only) and i don't undersatnd why something i need makes me feel so damned depressed argh!
also how can i mitigate a future of osteoporosis if i cannot take oestrogen? or am i being dramatic- is it not really a worry?
i would take it in spades if i could- was totally reconciled to the risks (which i believe are minimal unless you have pre-existing risk factors)
but it makes me feel like shit
and i feel like shit without it - what's the flipping solution?!

Lostandfound81 · 16/09/2018 19:29

@ShimmyShimmyYa

Have you played around with different brands / strengths / ratios?

Thomasinaa · 16/09/2018 19:31

To those dreading the menopause, remember that some women suffer no adverse effects. And not having periods is good.

BIWI · 16/09/2018 19:34

Agree, @Thomasinaa!

I had a rough patch for a year or so, but Boots Menolieve and keeping my carbs low were enough to get me through it. I'm 59 now and have the very, very occasional hot flush (not very intense) and that's it.

No other symptoms.

Which is lucky as I can't take HRT, as my mum died from advanced breast cancer (and had been taking HRT).

And it's fantastic no longer having periods!

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 16/09/2018 19:37

I expect it's on this thread somewhere, but does anyone have recommendations for bad PMT (cramps, bloating, feel sick, etc.)?

I never used to get it so badly, but perimenopause has changed that - although my actual periods are shorter.

PeridotCricket · 16/09/2018 19:56

Hrt was great for me. Saved my marriage. Taking it as long as I can.

Gottagetmoving · 16/09/2018 20:01

I was on HRT for almost ten years. I was scared of stopping because I thought I would get all those horrible symptoms again but it's not been too bad. However,....the ageing process seems to have accelerated...

1mouse2 · 16/09/2018 20:08

47 here and my internal thermostat seems to have gone to pot, either feel hot or cold although I don't seem to have full.blown nightsweats or hot flushes.

Keep waking up between 5 and 6 as well.and can't get back to sleep so constantly feel tired.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 16/09/2018 20:15

I took Red Clover and Flax Seed capsuals for a while, but I've just realised I haven't taken them for months and I don't think my symptoms are any worse/better with or without.

There was a load of contradictary evidence about Black Cohosh and I couldn't find a vegetarian sage supplement (don't fancy sage tea ) so I'm just 'cold turkey-ing'

Makes me wonder though why my body has decided to turn on itself and basically attack me with all this.
"Fertile phase over now, meh you're no use " it says. Sad

Boswellox · 16/09/2018 20:16

Can someone please put me clear on whether menopause symptoms are really peri-menopause symptoms and fade away once you enter actual menopause, the definition of which being a year without any form of period?

MortyVicar · 16/09/2018 20:29

If you can't take HRT, don't dismiss the idea of antidepressants. The SSRIs fluoxetine and citalopram can both be very effective against hot flushes and night sweats, as well as other symptoms. The problem is that no-one actually knows how they work on menopausal symptoms(*) and GPs offering them to women very often don't take the time to explain how well they work, so some women leave the surgery feeling as though they're being told it's all in their head.

I never tried HRT, I made the decision for myself before I even set foot in the surgery that I wanted to go the fluoxetine route. The first night I took it I slept through till 8.00am, and when I woke up thought 'what the fuck happened there???' So I took those and used natural progesterone cream, and I've had almost no issues.

Everyone is different and it may not work for you, but it's worth thinking about.

(*) The statistics are that SSRIs get rid of all symptoms for around a third of women, for another third the symptoms are significantly reduced, and for the final third they do sweet FA.

Itsmeaga1n · 16/09/2018 20:41

Morty I have an appointment with my gp this week and plan to ask - again - for antidepressants. I stopped taking duloxetine five months ago because I couldn't sleep but think my symptoms are a combination of anxiety and menopause so will try another antidepressant. I need it to be something that makes me sleep but doesn't give me restless legs! Sertraline and mirtazapine have done in the past. Any suggestions for how to approach this with my gp? She seems to dislike me doing any online research!