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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suspect DP had a fling with someone at DC after school activity.

114 replies

FrustratedDP · 13/09/2018 20:21

NC for this.

DP & a Woman at this activity keep looking at each other, they seem to end up together chatting as soon as I go to see DD taking part.

I asked them both if they knew each other previously & they don’t.

She is not on his Facebook that I can see.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
MrsChollySawcutt · 13/09/2018 21:53

I've see. It all now. Headline - man chats with woman at child's after school activity.

ToeToToe · 13/09/2018 22:18

Just recently, there was a very long running post by a woman who had just found out her DH had been having a fling with a school-mum - and had had sex with her in their children's room.

I know Hmm

These things do happen you know - people take a fancy to each other and have affairs. And the signs are usually there.

OP may not be being paranoid.

usernamefromhell · 13/09/2018 22:25

I'm all for trusting your gut instincts generally but this sounds properly paranoid.

According to this logic I'm sleeping with all my DD's classmates fathers. I chat to several of them regularly at school related events and get on well with them. I've never got anywhere getting off with any of them.

Does that mean paranoid wives and partners suspect I'm carrying on with them?

Unless there is other stuff you're not mentioning that gives you genuine reason not to trust your partner you do seem very suspicious and in all likelihood that's why she's not comfortable with you.

usernamefromhell · 13/09/2018 22:26

anywhere near getting off with them

BlancheM · 14/09/2018 08:06

When you know you know. You know what your DP is like, you can see with your own eyes how he looks at her. When a man looks at a woman he's interested in, we all know it's different to looking at a mate. You know she's been shifty with you and scuttles off when you approach.
I'm sorry you've had a cool girl kicking here and hope you get to the bottom of this soon.

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 08:29

When you know you know

Lol. So the women on here saying there was nothing going on, but the wife got all jealous, are wrong, they were actually shagging the husband and just didn't know it?

I'm fairly sure you must know that plenty of people get jealous, and get this wrong. So why post what you did? You must fundamentally know what you posted is wrong, so why encourage her to feel bad?

Northernparent68 · 14/09/2018 09:11

If instincts were accurate no one would be in an abusive relationship, or work for a bad employer or be betrayed.

BlancheM · 14/09/2018 09:31

Bluntness lol what?
OP knows what she's seen with her own eyes, unless she's embellishing here (I wouldn't assume she is, I take people's posts at face value), then she's described seeing and sensing behaviour which suggests something is up. It's her DP, it's her life, no one else here has been there with her and yet they are quick to dismiss her as jealous (what of?), insecure, paranoid and all the other tut-tuts.
I'd rather show some understanding than jump in with a snidey brush off or go in for the 'imagine if this was the other way round' guilt trip.

PleaseJustSayNo · 14/09/2018 09:32

Yeah I think I must be fucking most of the people in my office. Men and Women. I wonder if my OH knows 🤔

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2018 09:38

So you went to the after school activity and walked off to see your child. They got talking. You came back and interrupted so she left. You went to the loo and she ran back to talk to him so you gave her a dirty look.

Is that about right??

BlancheM · 14/09/2018 09:38

Have I missed something here or are people being deliberately obtuse for kicks again Hmm
I was replying to OP's posts, I don't have time to read every single other post. I'd like to think we all interact with other people's husbands and wives and have friendships but I'd have thought longing looks and acting dodgy in front of their SO isn't innocent.

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 09:45

Longing looks 🤣🤣🤣

BlancheM · 14/09/2018 09:48

It's what OP was describing. I'm glad you find it 🤣🤣🤣

Bluntness100 · 14/09/2018 09:50

I think the whole "longing" thing was your spin on it, can't see where the op wrote that...

What is a longing look by the way? Can you describe it for us,,,,😁😁😁

BlancheM · 14/09/2018 10:01

Maybe reread it if you're so interested blunty 😂

bluebell34567 · 14/09/2018 10:37

trust your instincts op and ask him whats going on instead of investigating, etc.

MrsChollySawcutt · 14/09/2018 10:41

Maybe the woman walks off when you appear because you are throwing her dagger looks and behaving like a jealous loon?

ZigZagZebras · 14/09/2018 10:45

I chat to one of the dads and one of the mums at DDs swimming clasa as they are there every week so have got to know them.
The dad hasn't had anyone else with him before but when the mum had someone with her (I presumed her mum) I just said hello in passing and didn't go and sit with them and chat because she had company, the same as this woman is likely doing when you're there.

BastardGoDarkly · 14/09/2018 10:47

You sound like hard work.

SleepingStandingUp · 14/09/2018 10:47

Def longing looks

How Colin Firth Mr D'Arcy looks upon Lizabeth as she plays piano. It's aoom of so much want and internal conflict. It's heartstopping and heartbreaking in its intensity

MrsChollySawcutt · 14/09/2018 11:10

Sleepingstandingup were you there?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/09/2018 11:13

I’ll wager op’s dh looks nothing like Colin Firth, bless him...

MrsChollySawcutt · 14/09/2018 11:17

To be fair, if OPs DH does indeed look like Mr Darcy then the story is whole lot more credible......

Racecardriver · 14/09/2018 11:18

Maybe they really get on but she doesn't like you? That's why she waits until you are gone to start a condensation with him? Or maybe they know someone I'm common and are gossiping? Or she could be dealing drugs to your husband. Or they could be flirting. This could mean almost anything. Tbh if they were actually having an affair or romantically interested I don't think that they would make it so obvious.

myrtleWilson · 14/09/2018 11:23

I actually think the drug dealing scenario is the twist this rather vague thread needs. Longing looks, dirty looks, smack head looks.