To be cross with DD's school about 'Distracting the boys' comment

[PoorlyParented]

DD (14) and some other girls in her year were hauled into their Head of Year's office yesterday. They were all told that their school skirts were either too short or too tight. Fair enough, DD's is a bit tight but she insists on wearing her skirts from last year for some reason. I've told her to wear different skirts in future.

However what I do take exception too is her head of year telling them all that their skirts are 'Very distracting for the boys'!!

How about they teach boys that they are responsible for themselves not being distracted by anything!

I'm tempted to email the HOY but have got a lot on at the moment and don't know if I can face another 'thing' to sort, but I feel it needs addressing!

Hmm see I feel a bit sorry for teenage boys (and girls) because their hormones can be a bit overwhelming I think. Testosterone isn't inert and I think is quite distracting for teen boys.

Adult men don't have the same excuse obviously but I would cut teens a little slack.

Also being distracted is not the same as being a predator/acting on impulses

My preferred take for boys and girls is follow the uniform rules, i'm sure the world doesn't need to see your underwear and I certainly don't want to see it

I think that’s a general good rule for life too! I tell DS1 that’s why his shirt must be tucked in otherwise his boxers will be showing if he leans over.

Ugh a diamante thong? I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable DSD was horrified when I bought her tulip skirts and pleated skirts (which you can’t roll up!) for high school and when she said “but why did you get them?” My response was “I was a teenage girl long before you were!” my mum did the same with me, until I was working and could buy my own uniform!

I do hate the responsibility that is put on to women and girls about the way we dress though. It’s usually pretty subtle, but it can be really blatant.

I would think having a boner in a lesson is probably quite distracting!! Doesn't mean the boy wants it or will rape someone

Pepper123123
When you get the inevitable 'but it doesn't affect my learning...' I'm quite happy to talk to them about rules and how the world works.
E.g. you wouldnt expect me to turb up with a skirt as short as yours and start teaching would you? You'd have to practically see my pants. You wouldn't want that. I don't want to see yours. Would you want your male teachers showing half their boxers with their trousers half way down their bum? Of course not.
It doesn't hurt to point out how their level of dress would compare on staff. Usually that's enough for them to think about appropriateness for a workplace. It relies on knowing the students though.

Most of the time a uniform reminder is all that's needed, followed by 'tough luck thats the rule'

YeTalkShiteHen
Oh yes. That group of girls had those dimantes thongs, thongs with weird fluffy pom poms on each hip bone, thongs with love hearts in the triangle at the top. We were subjected to them all. Because they'd make such a big fuss if challenged, quite a lot to staff didn't bother. This older teacher was clearly of the view that he'd been teaching years and they didn't make him feel awkward so he'd call them out on it and happily give them make up wipes for their tango faces. He was one of the most respected teachers in the school.

I'm quite glad the low trousers and thongs trend hasn't returned now I'm a teacher. It would give me flashbacks to school.

I’m stunned that anyone would think it acceptable for a child to have underwear like you describe, let alone wearing it in a way it could be seen in detail!

It’s clearly been longer since I was a teenage girl that I’d like to admit

DSDs although they do try to get away with rolling skirts up, have always asked for “granny pants” (like mine ) so that their bums are covered!

@MaisyPops give it time. We're currently on the 90s fashion revival, it could turn into the early 2000s trends coming back soon!

YeTalkShiteHen
Sadly the memories were imprinted in my poor adolescent brain.
neechee Don't say that. Sparkly thongs and tango faces belong firmly in the year 2000.
I can't work out what's the worse trend: umpa loompa faces or slug eye brows.

But give it 15 years when some of our current cohort are teachers and they'll probably be lamenting about the girls who look like they drew their eyebrows in with sharpie

Sadly the memories were imprinted in my poor adolescent brain

I can imagine! The extent of our school rebellion was short skirts, knee high boots from Faith and fitted Ben Sherman shirts no idea about knicker trends then or now

YeTalkShiteHen
It was look generally sported by the popular girls bitchy girls who dated a year or so above and were the early ones to get into hair dye and fake tans so naturally thought they were better than every other girl in the year
To be cool you wore your jeans (or school trousers!) low and your thong high. Even Britney Spears was modelling this bloody awful look. The brighter and more blingy the cooler you were (more of a slag the rest of the year group deemed you to be)

I wasn’t one of the “in crowd” which probably explains why it went over my head. Never knew what was cool, still don’t I left school in 1999.

You're not missing much.
I wasn't a cool kid either. More one of the weird alternative kids who would try to get along with most people whilst secretly thinking my poorly applied eyeliner was a much better look than the tangoed faces.

Haha we sound quite similar! Although I hid in a corner trying desperately to be inconspicuous for most of school

But they shouldn't be going around with really short skirts anyway

Why weren't you making sure your daughter followed the uniform policy in the first place by not wearing a skirt that was too short? She's 14, you're the adult, you should be supporting the school not shrugging helplessly. Adolescent boys will be distracted by short skirts, politically correct or not, so if you make her follow the rules it's a non-issue.

Why weren't you making sure your daughter followed the uniform policy

Absolutely .... please follow your DD at all times checking her waistband hasn't been folded over to shorten the skirts

Take a long ruler to swat away all the pervs boys and male teachers if they do much as glance in DDs direction

Failing that get her a Chasity belt

Queued up for what? Not sure what you’re referring to (well... I think I know but can’t belive how bloody rude that comment is).

No, the intention wasn’t sex, I was only bloody 16 but definately to attract them.
And yes, if they’re staring at girls instead of concentrating on their studies they’re being distracted.

Skirts should be banned if they do not confirm to the school policies and the children/teens should be told this too.

NOT tell them they are distracting the boys. Boys should be able to or at least be taught to restrain themselves.

Ugh... it's this kind of thing that, later on, leads to a survivor of rape getting blamed for it because of what they were wearing. Let's blame the women for what they wear as a valid excuse for a man's unacceptable behaviour.

Fucking ridiculous.

Fuck that shit! Who's the head? I'll email them for you

I totally agree. Young people wear clothes to attract the opposite (or same) sex. It’s always been that way and it always will be.

Really? Well that's one memo I didn't recieve.