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Original poster

To be cross with DD's school about 'Distracting the boys' comment

120 replies

PoorlyParented · 13/09/2018 16:45

DD (14) and some other girls in her year were hauled into their Head of Year's office yesterday. They were all told that their school skirts were either too short or too tight. Fair enough, DD's is a bit tight but she insists on wearing her skirts from last year for some reason. I've told her to wear different skirts in future.

However what I do take exception too is her head of year telling them all that their skirts are 'Very distracting for the boys'!!

How about they teach boys that they are responsible for themselves not being distracted by anything!

I'm tempted to email the HOY but have got a lot on at the moment and don't know if I can face another 'thing' to sort, but I feel it needs addressing!

OP posts:
chocolateworshipper · 13/09/2018 19:08

I'm wondering whether we have DDs at the same school OP - as mine was told something very similar by the HOY this week Angry

Original poster
PoorlyParented · 13/09/2018 19:09

That playground rape story is awful! I'm disgusted that those little girls got told off!

OP posts:
bzzbeebzz · 13/09/2018 19:16

It’s the same regressive attitudes permeating these stories. Girls being held accountable for the behaviour of boys. A school leader having this attitude can do untold damage.

GreenTulips · 13/09/2018 19:17

DD has also been told her skirt is a distraction to male teachers as well as the boys

Her friend said, well these skirts blow up and show our knickers - went on to be told they need to wear bigger knickers.

I agree it's discussing

Tika77 · 13/09/2018 19:20

Well... when I was 16 the only reason I wore a short skirt was to attract the boys. Not because it was a hot day and shorter was more comfortable.

bzzbeebzz · 13/09/2018 19:23

Tika77
Do you think that boys/men cannot control themselves and are not responsible for their actions if in the presence of a short skirt?
Because that’s scarily similar to the rape apologists’ sentiments.

nimfly · 13/09/2018 19:26

I hate this, I would be livid! I remember the same being said to me in school. Also got told it would be distracting to male teachers! Once I got pulled to the side as well for wearing slim fit tailored trousers - was told I was dressed too provocatively and the teacher was surprised my parents let me leave the house like that Confused

Definitely address it with HOY, disgraceful comment.

maddjess · 13/09/2018 19:27

I would be fucking fuming about this. Straight into the office tomorrow and educating the sexist pig of a teacher.

GreenTulips · 13/09/2018 20:05

Tika77

Did they queue up?

BlackberryandNettle · 13/09/2018 22:51

I'd be fuming too and calling emailing the school to address HoYs choice of language

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/09/2018 03:05

I'm appalled at the attacks on the 6 year old, and the teachers telling HER off for it!! That's disgusting, honestly. Poor child.

Grasslands · 14/09/2018 03:31

but isn't the whole point of teenage lust to wear skirts too tight and too short to do exactly what the hoy said? to distract and attract the boys? both the boys and the girls playing to their basic instinct to reproduce?
the girls want to attract the boys otherwise they could wear something more appropriate.

Aus84 · 14/09/2018 04:08

Geez they got that wrong. Totally acceptable to say the skirts were not in line with the schools uniform policy. Should have nothing to do with boys. I would be livid too OP.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/09/2018 05:15

the girls want to attract the boys otherwise they could wear something more appropriate

Or, you know, we could teach boys that irrespective of how girls/women dress, that they’re more than a walking fanny Confused

Autumn101 · 14/09/2018 05:29

It’s an awful comment to make, there was no need to mention boys at all. Fine to tell them they don’t adhere to uniform but it’s this constant pushing of girls growing up having to always think of the males and how they affect them never the other way round!!

I also think it’s damaging for the boys, as it makes them in the ‘right’ for being distracted and that women need to amend their behavior to suit them. They may well get distracted but frankly they’ll have to deal with it! I have only boys and I am constantly counteracting the sexist BS they heat

TheDowagerCuntess · 14/09/2018 05:34

More convinced than ever that single sex is the way to go.

I appreciated it myself, and I definitely think it's the right thing for DD.

cantfindname · 14/09/2018 05:39

This is an age-old problem. I was at secondary school in the 60's and we were made to kneel on the stage in a line whilst a teacher went along and measured how far from our knees our skirts were as we mustn't 'distract the boys in the school next door' Yes, we were an all girl school.

We did what every child since has done, walked off the stage rolling up the waistband of our skirts as we went.

The only real answer is to state that girls wear trousers as uniform, and not skirts.

subspace · 14/09/2018 05:39

Teenage boys will be distracted by girls and women even if they're wearing the most modest clothing you can think of. Teenage girls will be distracted by boys too what with their immodest ink stained shirts and peanut ties. OP I hear you when you're saying you don't need another battle right now but I'd definitely encourage you to escalate this. This is seriously not okay and out of whack with the progress being made in society which is finally starting to get the idea that men are responsible for themselves and that this sort of comment is not okay.

Igorina · 14/09/2018 06:07

WELL, I HAVE A SON GOING INTO SECONDARY SCHOOL AND THE LAST THING I WANT IS HIM BEING DISTRACTED BY THE SHORT SKIRTS OF THE GIRLS WHO... Jesus, can you imagine if I were serious?

OP I really do have a son going into secondary next year and I am fucking furious that your DD's school are so lazy that they would use peoples sons as an excuse to punish your DD because they have nothing official written down about skirt lengths or tightness (wtf?!).

Havaina · 14/09/2018 06:26

That Tes article is shocking. I'm glad they're maintaining anonymity for the children but the school deserves to be named and shamed. It's depressing that girls potentially need to be afraid of boys their age from the age of 6.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 14/09/2018 06:37

What abiut a shared letter ? If that’s their view it would worry me how other issues

I know it’s all a bit exhausting and daunting but I do think it’s worth addressing but as formally , and sensible as you can

What concerns me is how would they treat bullying , sexual touching etc ?

And boys are hardly going to be distracted by a few inches of bloody thigh / that so a teachers view Angry

2018Already · 14/09/2018 06:38

What a load of ridiculous comments. Girls wear short tight skirts for the sole purpose of distracting boys. Is it remotely possible that your daughter could just do as she’s fucking told by the school? If she’s not bothered, she’ll dress appropriately, won’t she?

2018Already · 14/09/2018 06:40

‘Being distracted’ isn’t the same as being a rapist. Kids at that age are hormonal. Maybe teach your daughter to have the same respect for other people that she expects to receive for herself.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/09/2018 06:45

I’m not saying she shouldn’t wear a regulation skirt, she absolutely should. Because it’s the rules, not because teenage boys are somehow exempt from controlling themselves!